It's taking all your strenght (Zarry /AU.) /English Version

54. The Hell

Flashback Zayn

It's unbelievable. I'm engaged and I'm supposed to be overjoyed. But I'm not. On the contrary, I'm desperate because I was forced into this engagement. Evidently my love for Harry was too obvious. We always loved to the limit.

This engagement literally was the cause of our downfall. We all know how those relationships end. Harry broke up with me. Despite my explanations, he wasn't convince of the opposite.

My heart is heavy, my thoughts are clouding my mind. Our situation is hopeless. Every day we work and live together. Now we have to avoid each other privately. My life is a living hell. I want to get rid of that, I want a normal life. If I can't love Harry, I don't want anyone.

Perrie doesn't mean anything to me. I don't want her! I never wanted her! When I wake up in the morning, I feel no need to get up. It's hard for me to see Harry. To avoid suffering, one must not love.

The management asks me to the office.

"Zayn, nice to see you."

I don't bring out a word. I'd rather punch everyone in the face.

"What's new?" I ask coldly.

"The engagement is done and now you have to tweet few words of thanks to the fans." They reply. 

"This is too much to ask! I don't want any of this!" I shout out indignantly. Tears rolling down my face.

"You can't ask me to do that. I'm all done!" I sob.

"Zayn, it was necessary. Your fans don't want to see a gay couple on stage. You're all girls dreams." 

"What About Larry? Isn't it the same?" I shout.

"Larry has been good to handle so far, Zayn. Unfortunately, Zarry is not. You were too obvious. Everyone could see it. We will write the tweet. That's it."

I am dismissed with those words.

"Oh, Zayn, by the way...not a word to Harry."

I'm a broken man. Nobody sees my suffering. Not even Harry. Those people, they control my fate and I have no chance to fight it.

Harry has been ignoring me ever since. Even on stage I don't seem to exist anymore. He Is always getting in touch with Louis. The same old trick. Louis wouldn't mind a fling every now and then. He longs for Harry's attention. Life is ungrateful and unfair. Why doesn't anyone put themselves in my shoes? No one's asking what you want. And this hasn't just happened.  

The next day, the management issued the following message:

"Zayn - Never been more happy in my life! Big love zX" Thanks to everyone for being so beautiful about my engagement to my beautiful fiancé! Big love zX"

When I read the tweet, It makes me sick and I have to vomit permanently. They betrayed me and sold me out. The same day I request a time-out from hell.