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Found this and thought I'd write this hehe
Your POV
Shawn is always cuddling me. Constantly. Whether its a random hug in the middle of the day, or a cuddle whilst in bed, he loves hugs and cuddling me.
Even when he is having a bad day, or when he is sick he loves holding me in his arms rather than being held.
However, today was different. I wanted to let him know that I could hold him, he could be appreciated just as much as he appreciates me.
Shawn has the day off and likes to sleep during the day as his days can be so long, sometimes he doesn't sleep for several days. He had been off for 3 days and had caught up on some sleep, but I choose not to wake him, but lay beside him.
My plan to not wake Shawn fails. His eyes open slowly and he smiles, putting his arms around my shoulder. We stay like this for a while, my head on his chest.
"Lets try something different." I suggest, lifting my head off his chest.
"What are you doing darling?"
"Gotta give my boy some love too." I respond, pulling him into my arms.
"I don't want to crush you." His head moves to my chest and gently, I guide him so that he's laying on top of me.
"You're not sweetie don't worry. Just relax." I coo as I start to take my fingers through his hair, something he does to me.
"This feels weird. I should be holding you Y/N."
"No no..." Shawn interrupts me.
"No Y/N. The boy holds his girl."
"You need some loving too honey. Boys need loving too, you work so hard Shawn, sometimes you need someone to hold you too. Boys need to be held too and should let their guard down. It doesn't make you less masculine." I explain, stroking his hair.
"I feel all vulnerable." He admits, turning his head to the side.
"Its okay. Just breathe deeply and relax. You deserve some love." Gently, I kiss the top of his head, rubbing the back of his neck with my thumb.
After a few minutes laying like this, Shawn speaks up.
"Nobody has ever done this to me before. Like hold me like this." I could clearly tell he was letting his guard down, the more I held him, the more vulnerable he felt. "Sometimes I feel so stressed out and I wish I had just asked you to play with my hair."
"Aw Shawnie just ask me. Its okay if you want to be held. You don't always have to be the strong one." Shawn looks up at me and I'm certain that a few tears have fallen from his eyes. "Come on, lets get you some nice, warm tea."
Both of us get up to go to the kitchen.
"Right." I hold Shawn's shoulders and force him to sit on the sofa. "You stay here and I'll bring you some tea."
"Thanks Y/N." Shawn smiles, looking relaxed. I should do this more often.
After drinking his tea, Shawn looks at me dead in the eye and I knew what he wanted.
"Yes, I'll sit behind you." I giggle, and let him lay on me again, his head on my chest. "Are you warm enough?"
"I'm a little chilly." It was getting colder in Toronto as its nearly November. I grab the blanket from the table and cover Shawn up, tucking him in. "Can you play with my hair again?"
"Of course darling." I agree, scratching his scalp, which sends him straight to sleep. I turn the volume down and keep playing with his hair to keep him sleeping.
I'm exhausted rn and contemplating if its worth napping or not as it'll be dark in like two hours so I could just sleep then or sleep now and then not sleep all night ugh lol
