Shawn Mendes Imagines

Suicide

Hey x In light of recent events (not naming anyone but you all know) I'm going to write this. Hope you like it.

TRIGGER WARNING

Shawn's POV

"Thank you" I get off stage at my final show of the SM3 tour. It was in Toronto, my home town.

It would be the last show of my life.

I've had anxiety and depression for a while now. It started with mild anxiety when my career began at 14, and then I was diagnosed with depression at 17. I now have moderate anxiety and severe depression. I'm a failure. I never have time to spend with my family or Y/N, I let them down. I let my fans down when my voice cracks or when I play the wrong notes. I ruin their lives when they don't get to take a picture with me.

The world will be a better place without me. It's not even a thought, its the reality.

I drive myself home and clean our room. I lay on my bed and begin to cut my wrists. I do it slowly. I deserved the pain. I made 10 cuts on each arm and I begin to feel dizzy and begin to lose conciousness.

Your POV

I get home from Y/F/N's house and I notice Shawn's car parked up but it is silent.

"Shawn" I call. I go into our room and I'm shocked at what I see. Shawn, wrists bleeding, laying lifeless on the bed. I quickly dial 911 and scramble to wrap my scarf around his wrists to stop the bleeding.

"Shawn stay with me." I notice he's still slightly conscious as I can hear him groaning. "I love you Shawn I love you" I say into his ear and then sit on the bed and pull him into my arms. "Its okay I'm here." I bite my lip to try to not cry as I had to stay strong for him. "Deep breaths. That's it." I say as the paramedics come in and instantly put an oxygen mask over his face and get him to hospital. I see his mum there, who runs up and hugs me.

"W...where's Aaliyah and Manny?" I ask.

"Liyah was sick so Manny will stay with her and bring her in the morning." Karen was optimistic but I was certain that I was going to lose him. The doctor comes up to us.

"He will live." He says and relief floods through me. "But he was very lucky. He lost a lot of blood and because he has a common blood type we were able to do a transfusion. He might need a kidney transplant as he had some kidney failure caused by the blood loss." The doctor explains. "Shawn will be in hospital for a few weeks at least. We will transfer him to the mental health unit as soon as he is physically well enough. I'm going to need his mum to sign a few forms but you can see him. He's very weak."

I go into Shawn's hospital room and see him hooked up to an IV and blood drip, oxygen mask and a few other machines. He is shirtless, with stickers pressed onto his chest to measure his vitals. I reach out and hold his hand. His head turns towards me.

"Hey darling." I say to him, taking my fingers through his hair.

"Y/N..." he tries to speak but is weak.

"I'm here for you sweetie pie." I lean down and press a kiss onto his forehead.

"I...just...f...felt h...hopeless and w...worthless f...fail...ure" he stutters and my heart shatters. How did I not realise.

"Shawnie its okay don't worry. We all love you more that you will ever know and are here for you. Please don't think like that. You're not a failure, you've done so well and we are all so incredibly proud of you." I say in his ear as a tear falls from his eyes. "Please don't cry my baby." I whisper in his ear and wipe his tears.

"S...sorry..."

"It's okay you don't need to apologise hunny." I caress his cheek with my thumb as Karen comes in and I let her sit.