Shawn Mendes Imagines

His parents die

Just before I start, this was inspired by mercylikemendes 's Shawn Mendes imagine called 'Lacuna' xx

Your POV

These past few months had been incredibly tough for Shawn. He had gone through something awful, something nobody, let alone a nineteen year old wants to experience. The pain was too much.

His mum and dad had been killed in a car crash six months ago.

It was on black ice, and both died instantly.

So did Shawn.

Internally.

There was nothing left in him. He would spend weeks in his room, just laying there with his phone turned off, and as soon as his sister got back from school he would hold her and let  her sob. I could see, clearly see, that he was holding it back. He wouldn't cry for her sake. She was fourteen, a child as Shawn would say. He wouldn't cry for her. He wanted to be the strong, fearless big brother.

But I knew he was crumbling inside. On a bad day, he would shut everybody, including me out. He wouldn't even move, let alone speak. The thing I wanted most was to open my arms out and cuddle him. But he wouldn't let me. He would lay away from me, curl up into a ball and sleep throughout the day.

At night, he would sit in his office and 'write'. He told me his imagination is better at night. I know he's lying. He always plays any new songs to me, and it had now been nearly five months since he had done this.

I didn't know what he did in there. He said it bought him peace so I chose to believe him.

I was wrong.

I found that out late one night, where I couldn't sleep because I had been stupid enough to drink a huge cup of coffee before bed.

Rolling over, I check the time. 4am.

The sound of Shawn's voice startled me. He had screamed out in pain, so I practically ran into his office.

"Shawn what happened?" I ask, noticing his bloody hand.

"Guitar string broke." He responds in his now normal monotone voice. I get the first aid kit and slowly approach him. He had built his walls up incredibly high, so high that he wouldn't even get physically close to people. It was almost like he had built walls around himself and around his heart, and soldiers were constantly guarding these walls.

I then notice the tears. They just kepy falling and falling, Shawn didn't move. He didn't even react. It was almost as if this was normal for him.

"I'm fine." He blurts out without warning.

"Let me bandage that up for you." I say softly, taking his hand in mine. This was the first time I had touched him in weeks.

Quickly but carefully, I bandage up his hand, gently planting a kiss on it.

I notice that Shawn is still crying. One heartbreaking sob causes him to absolutely lose it.

"Hey, what's the matter?" I ask, moving his hair away from his forehead.

He just sat there on the floor, shaking his head. In that moment, all of the fight and walls he had been putting up went crashing down, and so did he. His entire body collapsed onto mine, his head dug into my chest.

I wrap my arms around his trembling body and pull him into my lap, loud, painful sobs escaping his mouth.

"Hey, you're okay." I say into his ear as he wraps his arms around my waist, trying to get closer to me.

I hold his head against my chest, trying to calm him down but it wasn't working. He was burning up so I gently lift his hoodie off.

I take a look at his face for the first time in weeks. Huge eye bags - he hadn't been sleeping at all. Red, puffy eyes and almost feverish cheeks.

"Shawn what happened to you?" I whisper, cupping his cheek with my hand, heat radiating from it.

"I... can't Y/N..."

"Can't what honey?" He began crying even harder at the sound of my voice, and I begin scratching his scalp to calm him, using my fingers to get rid of the knots in his curls. He had really neglected his wellbeing.

"Go on Y/N... without them..."

At those words my arms around him tightened even more, if that was possible.

"Keep breathing honey, I've got you, I'm right here." I whisper into his ear as his breathing rate calms.

"I can't do it..." he lets out a final sob before sliding down so his head lays in my lap.

"You've come so incredibly far, remember that honey. A few weeks ago, you wouldn't have been able to tell me why you were upset. You need to realise that you can't be strong all the time. Sometimes you need to let your emotions out and not hold it all in. Its not good for you, bottling it up. Next time, just tell us when you're upset about it."

"But how? My mum... she was always there. I... just I can't... everytime something bad happened she knew. She would call me, text me, sometimes even lay beside me until I slept just so I'd be okay." This was the most he had said since his mother had died. "My dad was my best friend Y/N, just why... why did it happen?" He turns around so that he's laying on his side, head still in my lap, my fingers in his hair.

"Oh Shawn." I lean down and plant a kiss on his forehead. "You can't ever replace your mother or father. I know that, and I obviously can't imagine how you're feeling right now. But if you want anything, and I mean anything, tell me."

I see him smile, and I caress his cheek in acknowledgement of the smile.

"Tell you what, I'll take a few weeks off work. I've got some hours saved up and can do some of it from home."

"T... thanks Y/N." He stutters, holding my leg for comfort.

"But right now you need to take care of yourself, and we can start that by making sure you sleep. Come on, time for bed." I help him to his feet, as his mental breakdown temporarily weakened him physically.

We lay in bed, his head resting on my shoulder.

"Goodnight my love." I whisper into his ear, but he was already asleep, looking peaceful for the first time in a very long time.

I'm so cold its May and its still freezing 😭😭😭