Shawn Mendes Imagines

Cut To The Heart

So this is in Shawn's perspective and close to home for me and maybe some of you 👑 I've changed aspects of this but its loosely based off a personal experience.

WARNING distressing content

Shawn's POV

Why, did you leave me here to burn
I'm way too young to be this hurt

I slam my bedroom door as I return from the studio. They keep telling me that my career will fail.

Fail

But I've not even released my first single yet. How is it possible for them to determine that I'm a failure when I've only been at the studio for three damn weeks?

They say you don't know how young you are until you grow up. When you're 11 and are at the top end of primary/elementary school, you feel like you know everything. Until you turn 15, and realise how young and stupid you were at that age. And the same goes for when you're 18 or 19, and 15 feels young and so on.

I'm 15 years old. 15. I'm not even legal yet. I'm young. And they think that they can criticize me and point out my flaws when I'm pretty aware of them myself. I'm 15, how can you tell me that this will determine my entire life?

I'm 15.

Can't they see they're hurting me?

Counting wounds and I'm trying to numb them all

Have you ever cut yourself deeply? Probably have. It takes a few weeks for it to scab over, and if you pick the scab it bleeds again. You get the concept.

Though a cut to the heart is worse.

Do you care? I gave you all of me
My blood, my sweat, my heart and my tears

Some cuts require stitches. Like when you fall really hard off your bike, or step on something sharp.

Stitches can fix most things. Small cuts, surgical wounds, clothes and so on. However there's one thing a stitch can't fix.

A cut to the heart.

If you did get stitches as a child I bet everyone comes to visit you. I bet you got your favourite toy. I bet all of your friends signed your bandages. Why? Because they cared.

But why don't you care.

Why don't you care, why don't you care?
I was there, when no one was and now you're gone
And I'm here

I'm now 17. My career has peaked and Stitches has done incredibly well. I'm thankful, yes.

But why did they leave me?

I wanted their help. I wasn't just struggling, no. I was broken inside.

Completely shattered.

And when I gathered enough confidence to come and speak to you, as you gave me this whole 'I'm there for you' speech when I first met you. You told me that you would stick by me and help me when I needed you the most, so why is it that when the pressure hit me the most that you made me think I was thick? That I was dumb and stupid. That the fact that I was dying inside was unimportant and your 2pm meeting was more important than my wellbeing?

I was there. I was there when I had nobody to talk to. I was there waiting for you; I stood outside your office for half and hour waiting.

Waiting for you to care.

To care that I was crippling inside.

But you didn't care.

You didn't.

I have questions for you.

I'm 19 years old and have just finished the North American Leg of my tour.

I saw you.

I have a lot to ask you. What? Oh...so you didn't know that you did this? You didn't know that you took a happy, loving, easy going CHILD and turned him into a stressed, depressed and BROKEN MAN?

Lemme repeat that. Louder so that you, you ignorant, heartless excuse of a human being can hear it.

I have questions for you.

You still don't know what I mean. See that's the problem with you and your associates. You have broken so many souls, some so broken that they are unfixable, that this has become the norm for you. It's completely normal for you to be the cause of someone's downfall. And that says it all about you.

Number one, tell me who you think you are
You got some nerve to try and tear my faith apart.

You may be a successful business; artists have performed very well under your lead haven't they? Best label in the world eh?

Wrong.

You took a once vibrant, free soul and filled it with darkness and what I want to know is this...

Who gave you the fucking right to mess with my spirit?

Number two, why would you, try and play me for a fool
I should have never, ever, EVER trusted you.

"I'm here for you" you say for the 100th time.

That four letter phrase is commonly used. It is easier said than done.

When I told you I was struggling to cope with all of this pressure, you decided to tell others. Others. Specifically after I told you that this was to be kept in private. Obviously I'm a product to you and not a proper human being.

That wasn't enough for you though.

Number three, why weren't you who you swore that you would be.

Swore. You swore that you would oversee everything and be there with me when things when wrong. Yet, when things were going wrong, you left me. You abandoned me. You tore me to pieces. You ruined me.

You destroyed me.

Your voice was the most familiar sound,
But it sounds so dangerous to me now

At one point, I looked up to you. When I was 14 and trying to become successful, I dreamed of working with you. You were my everything. I fucking loved you.

Now, you are the reason why this happened.

The reason why I died.

You killed me.

My heart still beats, yes. But it's dead inside.

And it's all your fault.

I have questions haunting me.

But

But

But

But I wasn't going to let you do this to me. I was going to be the best possible version of myself and prove your little dick wrong.

I won. I beat you. I tore you out of my head just like you tore open my heart.

I'm 21 now. My third album was number 1, and I got a Grammy, a Juno and a Brit. My career went to new levels without your help. I did it all myself.

I don't need you.

This was hard to write as it's a bit personal but hope you liked it xx