This Time I'll Hang, Close the Door (Kellin Quinn) {Book 1}

Chapter 16. No One Understands

No One Understands 

Song: Iris covered by Sleeping With Sirens

~Summer~

I walked down the beach with a towel around me so perverts wouldn't stare at my body. I only had an hour to find and talk to Kellin before we had to go. Maybe he wasn't even at the beach anymore and he was already at his bus. I could just be wasting my time and I don't even know it. 

Oh, come on Kellin! Where are you?

I saw that Brandon guy again. Just this time he wasn't hitting on me. He was sucking faces with some blonde with fake boobs that her bikini barley covers. Probably his girlfriend. Seriously, what the hell is his problem? You don't go hitting on girls if you already are with someone! That's so low. 

I continued on with my quest to search for Mr. Quinn. I dragged my feet through the sand, feeling the softness of beach sand between my toes. I swear beach sand isn't the same as say normal sandbox-sand. Normal sand is all hard and rocky. Beach sand is like holding powered. It feels awesome, better than sex. Okay, maybe not that. Sex is pretty awesome. Maybe better than a hug or handshake, but not sex. 

Why was I doing this? Why was I even trying to be friends with him when I know that in fact the friend zone is pure hell? I was just torturing Kellin. I wouldn't be surprised if he was done with me by now. I would be too. I'm confusing, moody, loud, talkative, annoying, and emotional. Although, this summer has been pretty hard on me. 

There he was. Kellin was just sitting sadly by himself, playing with the sand occasionally. He would look up from his feet and look at the ocean when he wasn't drawing little pictures in the soft sand. 

I took a minute to look at him. His hair looked perfectly done, like he had just come from getting his hair cut or something. He was wearing his swim trunks. That means he had no shirt. Now that is sexy. His face had a blank expression, like someone hurt him. Well, someone (someone being me) did hurt him. 

I huffed and walked towards him. Without saying anything I took off my towel and set in on the ground. I sat down on it and got situated. Then, I turned to Kellin. "Hey…" I mumbled. 

I know he knew I was there. I know he heard me. I know it. But, it still took him a minute to respond. 

"Hey." Kellin said back, staring at the ocean. 

"I'm sorry." I blurted out. "Kellin, I'm really stupid to friend zone you like that. I know how terrible the friend zone feels. I don't even know why I didn't it honestly because I don't just want you as a friend," I explained. Kellin turned to face me. "I guess I did it because I thought I would get hurt again. My ex and I had a very complicated break up so I figured, why bother with a boyfriend. But Kellin, I do really like you. Maybe even more than that." I said, my voice getting quieter with each word. 

His facial expression didn't change a bit as he spoke. "What do you mean by 'more than that'?" he asked. 

I exhaled. "I… love you. And after all the shit that's happened this summer I feel like you should know this. Also, you told me you loved me. You deserve to here it back."

"So you’re telling me you love me because you feel I should hear you telling it to me?" he asked harshly. His face still didn't show any emotion. He turned his attention back to the water. 

"No! Kellin, I'm not lying or anything like that. I swear. I really do feel this way, and I know what love feels like," I sighed. Then I realized something, what are we doing? "Kellin, why are we fighting over this? Why can't we just forget about everything and kiss already? Because we are seriously fighting just so we could fight."

He cracked a small smile. No, correction. A grin. "Maybe fighting is over thing." he chuckled. 

I giggled. "You think so?" 

He simply nodded. He turned to look at me again. 

"Okay, so do you forgive me or do you want to fight about it first?" I asked, smiling like an idiot. 

"Forgive you for what? I'm the bad guy here. I ditched you." he said, looking sad now. 

"Yes, but if you hadn't of blown me off for fish we wouldn't have had this talk and I wouldn't have done this."

He cocked his head to side and gave me a confused look. "Done what?"

I smirked, placed my hands on the sides of his face, and pulled him closer. Before he knew what was happening our lips met for the first time in nine years. I felt sparks the moment I kissed him. I never thought people actually felt sparks, but I guess they do. It really is magical. 

He soon caught on and placed his hands gently on my waist. Our lips moved in sync as the kiss grew more passionate. Normally I would have figured he'd be trying to stick his tongue down my throat by now. But no, he was a complete gentleman throughout the kiss. It was sweet, I loved it. 

I heard him moan a tiny bit and felt his cheeks grow warm. I chuckled. This made him kiss me with a bit more force. He also gripped my waist tighter. 

I knew that we shouldn't have been making out at the moment. We were in public on a beach surrounded by people, some being fans who heard we were hanging out at this beach today. Although, it was our (second) first kiss so give us a break. 

It was pure torture when he pulled away breathless. He cracked a smirked and pecked my lips once more. He then pressed his forehead to mine. 

"Wow…" I breathed out. That was the best kiss I've ever had. Who knew sparks were real?

He chuckled. "I'm really that good of a kisser?" he asked. This cocky little…

I giggled. "I think the awesomeness from the kiss all came from me." I joked. 

He threw his head back and laughed loudly. "Suuure! Whatever you say!"

I shook my head while smiling. "I love you Kellin. I really do." I said, giggling at his laugh. 

He calmed down and grabbed my hand. He intertwined our fingers too. "I love you too Summer. Be my girlfriend?"

I slowly nodded. "For sure." 

----

Yes! I'm almost finished writing 'The Mortician's Daughter'. I had so many ideas because of yesterday. I still need a few more lyrics though. But I want to perform it soon, and as close to yesterday as possible. 

Speaking of yesterday, it was perfect. I became Kellin's girlfriend. You know how many people would kill to be in my position? A lot. 

Yesterday evening consisted of us kissing a bunch of times, taking a bunch of pictures, and telling a few people about our new relationship status. And those few people told everyone else. Yes, these are my friends. Those gossiping bitches. Hehe, but I love them. 

"No dust will ever grow on this frame, a million years I'll still say your name. I love you more than I can ever scream." I sung softly as I watched All Time Low do their set. Alex and Jack were in the middle of some argument about how many bras they each get from fans. Alex thinks he gets more than Jack, but I'm pretty sure Jack gets a lot more. 

I was hanging out with my band. Key word, was. But Zack saw some girl he wanted to sleep with, Blu is hanging with… Justin, Ian went to get a haircut from some person doing them for free, and River is calling his boyfriend, Aaron. They really are a good couple, and Aaron is super sweet. They are made for each other. 

I wanted to hang out with Kellin but he had a signing to do with Pierce The Veil because of their song 'King for a Day'. It's an amazing song and all, but hearing them sing together makes me realize that they both sing higher than I do. Although I have a higher talking voice than both of them. 

"Okay, this next song is a party song!" Alex said happily into his mic. 

That's when I got a text. Another one from KC. Great. Why can't he just leave me alone? He has been texting me all day. It's been driving me crazy! He even texted me during my set today. Luckily I didn't have my phone with me. Steve did. He was backstage and holding my phone the moment it happened. 

He even found out about Kellin and I. News travels fast, huh? I heard from Danny Worsnop today that there were tweets about it from fans, tweets about it from our friends, and pics of us kissing on the beach. I know fans were there and I definitely knew that they would take pictures! Damn stalkers. But it's okay. I love our fans and I'm glad they think we are as they say 'cute' together. 

My sister found out too. She told my mom ASAP. But instead of yelling at me for being with him she called me to tell me that she's happy I'm happy. Also, my sister is only like two months away from having her baby. I hope it's a girl… and named after me. 

I sighed and began to walk back to my tent. I already played today and we finished our signing almost two hours ago. I gotta say that I really couldn't be more bored. Although when Kellin gets down we are going to hang out in his tour bus alone. Our first date as a couple. I can't stop saying that! Kellin and I are a couple. Unbelievable. 

Trent gave some girl her shirt back then looked up to see me. "Hey girly!" he greeted happily. 

"Hey sexy!" I jokingly teased. I love my relationship with my band and crew. We all tease each other, call each other good and bad names, and laugh at each other. The best thing is that we never take anything too seriously. I hope Kellin doesn't mind the way I talk to my band and crew members.

"So, you seem pretty happy right now. What's up?" he asked. 

"What?! How can you not know why I'm happier than a freaking rainbow?" I gasped. I've been smiling all day, except when I got texts from KC. 

He laughed. "I'm just kidding! I know why you are happy." Trent smile along with me. 

I was about to speak but my pocket started vibrating. I giggled as I pulled out my phone and read the text. 

'Meet me on my bus ASAP please :)' ~Kellin

Yay, he was done with the signing! Now he's all mine for two to three hours. 

"Hey Trent I gotta go. I'll meet up with you on the bus, okay?" I asked as I started to walk towards the parking lot. 

"Sure!" he shouted to me so I could here him. 

I knocked on the bus door and waited for Kellin to open it. Why did he lock the door if I was coming anyways? Instead of opening the door he opened a window and popped his head out. 

"Hello!" Kellin called out. 

His voice made me tingle. "Hey. Are you gonna open the door or make me crawl through the window?" I asked as I busted out in giggles. 

He made a face as if he was thinking. "What's the password?" Kellin smirked. 

I groaned. "Mr. Quinn, open the door or I'm leaving." I started to pretend to walk away. 

"Okay, okay! Hold on." I heard the door open as saw Kellin standing, waiting for me as I turned around. 

I walked back up to him and onto the bus with a big grin on my face. "Thanks." 

He chuckled. He locked the bus door and shut the window before leading me into the back lounge. We sat down on the couch and he draped his arm over my shoulders, holding me close to him. 

And thus began our talking. We talked about anything and everything. Even about our dads. His left him and his mom when he was young, but now it's okay. He has a step-dad who is amazing. Although I bet it still hurts to know that your birth father "didn't want anything to do with you" as Kellin says. 

"I wouldn't know anything about having my father walk away though. That's not how I lost my father." I said to him as he finished telling me his story. I had my head buried in his neck and I had the smell of his cologne filling my nose. My left hand played his the hemming of his black tank top as my right arm was wrapped around his waist. 

He slowly nodded. "Losing my dad was hard, but that was his own choice. I don't know how hard that was for you. But it's okay Summer." he said, kissing my forehead. 

I nodded too. "Yeah, I know everything is okay. I had to get over it. It was years ago. I'm not going to forget it though. Or all the therapy and shit I had to go through. People kept saying I needed help when I really wanted was a hug. And everyone kept saying that they know how I felt. No they didn't. No one understood exactly how I felt or what I was going through. No one could say that they knew what that felt like because they really didn't. They were just saying that. And that's what made me hurt even worse. They not only lied to me, but to themselves. And that only made what I was going through worse." I mumbled because of the stupid lump in my throat. 

He held me tighter. "I didn't know that's how you felt." he whispered near my ear. 

"Well, it is. Everyone has always told me that they know how I feel because I've lost so much. They haven't lost as much as me, so what do they know? And it's the people who say this stuff that piss me off. Those moments where you know you lost everything but still don't give up are my best and worst moments. Best because I know I still have hope. Worst because I've lost everything and my everything will take a lifetime to get back. And still, those moments are better than when people sit me down, look me straight in the eye, say they know how I feel, and then tell me everything will be okay. It's not going to be okay. I don't know when it will be either." I said with no emotion showing in my tone. 

By now I was being hugged to death. "It's not okay. But in time it will be, I promise. I love you Summer. I always have been and I know for sure that I always will be." Kellin mumbled emotionlessly. 

I smiled. I wrapped my arm around his waist even tighter. "Thanks Kellin. I love you back. Hey, will you do something for me?" I asked. 

He raised his head up and smiled. "Sure, anything. What is it you want?" he asked.

"Sing something for me. I really love your voice; I could listen to it all day." 

He nodded. "Okay, I have the perfect song. It's just cover though. It's called 'Iris' by The Goo Goo Dolls. You heard of it?" 

I nodded. 

"Okay, here I go," he mumbled before leaning his head on mine and singing. Then I heard his beautiful singing voice fill the room. 

"And I'd give up forever to touch you,
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow. 
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,
And I don't want to go home right now.  

And all I can taste is this moment,
And all I can breathe is your life,
And sooner or later it's over,
I just don't wanna miss you tonight.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's meant to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,
Or the moment of truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies,
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's meant to be broken, 
I just want you to know who I am.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's meant to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's meant to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am.

I just want you to know who I am."

Kellin sang beautifully. Of course he did. He's Kellin Quinn. Duh. 

Now in fan fictions I've read about the man next to me the girl would be crying because her idol sang to her. But no, not me. I'm just sitting here silently and clinging onto him, just wanting to fall asleep. 

"Was I good?" he asked, making sure I was still awake. 

I nodded. "Like I said, your voice is beautiful and I love it. I love you." I smiled up at him. 

He grinned widely as he leaned into me to peck my lips, even though I would have rather had a total make out session with him. But no, he just had to peck my lips then pull away quickly. 

He shoved his hand in his pockets and then pulled out what I think was a necklace. A gold one with a circular charm connecting one chain to the other. I looked quickly but closely at it before he shifted himself to face me and moved it into his over hand. The necklace had a 'K' written in diamonds on it. The one he gave me so many years ago. The one I can't remember, but still, I'm sure that's the one. 

"Summer, I gave you this when we were seventeen. Now, I want you to have it again. But this time I don't want to get it back because I always want you to be mine." he mumbled. Kellin seemed nervous. He's never nervous though. 

He held out the necklace for me to take and I did so. I held it simply in my hands and smiled. "Thank you Kellin. Really. And I promise to never ever break your heart again." I pulled him into a hug. 

He tightly hugged me back. "I promise the same thing. And Summer, I know you think no one understands but your wrong." He pulled away. 

I gave him a confused look. "How am I wrong?"

"People always told me that they knew what I was going through. That they understood the pain I felt when… he left. They all told me things will be okay. Things weren't okay. So I do understand that. And it's hard to get over. I know." he explained. 

I smiled and nodded. "I guess we're both not alone."

"Yep! If you ever need a hug, you know where to find me, okay?" he asked. 

I leaned forward and kissed his lips shortly and gently. "Okay…" I mumbled against them before kissing his lips once again.

A/N: Continue on to the next chapter. P.S. I drew the pic on the side. --->