Chapter 21. Here In Amsterdam

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Here In Amsterdam

Picture: KC

Song: All Time Low by The Wanted (Yes, The Wanted. What, I'm not allowed to like popular music?)


I kept thinking about what Andy said last night. It confused me so much. It also pissed me off. I hated when people would tell me something then not explain it. 

I leaned my head against the van window as we traveled to our next venue in Amsterdam. We would be spending two nights here before moving on, and one of those nights we don't have a show. 

I hate the van we have. Just because this tour is only six months Steve said we could use a van. I have to say that I miss the bunks. 

I was the only one up besides Trent, who was driving the van, and Blu, who was sitting next to him and arguing. They knew I was up, but they also knew that I didn't want to talk. I'm glad they respect that. I would probably go crazy if my band didn't respect that. 

I felt my pocket vibrate. I pulled it out and saw a text from Kellin. 

'Hey, what's up?' ~Kellin

I smiled. I love how he makes time to text and call me when he can, but it pisses me off when it can't be vice versa. 

'Nothing babe. You?' I texted back. 

'I was just texting Beth about names. You want to hear the one we might choose?' ~Kellin

I rolled my eyes. I would have liked to text back no, but that would make him sad. Things are already hard enough for him. I should just try to at least pretend to be happy. If I'm going to be with Kellin I should get used to all the baby talk, right? 'Sure.' I texted. 

'Scarlett Bethany Bostwick.' ~Kellin

I felt a pang in my chest. I don't know how much longer I can do this. I know I want to be with him, and I have to admit that I can't wait to see the little babies face, but Beth is getting on my nerves. It already sounds like they are becoming friends again. It won't take long before he sees that he's supposed to be with her, not me. And really? Making your first name your child's middle name? I wouldn't have a problem with that if she and Kellin were together, but they aren't. And I bet Beth knows that it makes me feel like shit. And I know Beth knows that I want to stick around. For all I know she could be trying to run me off. Although, she does have a boyfriend. 

I decided to not text Kellin back. I'll tell him later that I fell asleep. That's a good excuse. I use it all the time. Maybe this time he would be able to see it's fake though. Oh well. Maybe then he will finally catch on that this is hurting me. 

'Iris' started playing from my phone. Really? He was really calling me? He must have finally caught on. 

I answered it quietly. "Yes?"

"Summer, what's wrong? You always do that when we text." Kellin said bluntly. 

"Do what?" I innocently asked. 

"You know what I mean. I thought you were happy for me?" he hissed harshly at me. What's his problem today? 

"Kellin, are you fucking blind?" I snapped back. 

"No. No, I'm not blind. I can clearly see that something is wrong with you." 

"Clearly," I hissed. Luckily no one could hear me. Good. "Kellin, yes. Something is wrong with me. It's that I'm talking to you." I hung up my phone. Why should I have to talk to him when he treats me like some bitch? Sometimes I do wonder if we should just break up now, get the heartbreak over with. 

I'm pretty sure that sooner or later he will finally open his eyes and see that one, Beth is the one for him. And two, that I'm slowing getting crushed by all of this shit going on. 

My phone rang once again. But it wasn't playing 'Iris'. I checked and saw it was a blocked caller. Slowly, I answered my phone. "Hello?" I asked in whisper. 

"Summer…" his voice whispered back, a tint of sadness in his voice. 

"KC?" I gasped. "Why are you calling me?" 

"I heard you have a boyfriend now, and that your boyfriend is having a baby."

I chuckled bitterly. "Are you stalking me now?"

"No. Summer, why are you with some rock star baby daddy?" he scoffed. 

I felt yet another pang in my chest. "Because he's a wonderful person. He's going to be a great dad. And he's a beautiful musician. You don't know anything about him." I defended. Even if Kellin and I fight, I really do need to defend him. He would do the same for me. 

"I know that he is having a child with someone else. You should be with someone who will give you their full attention." he said. 

"Like you?" I laughed quietly. Blu looked back at me. I gave her a thumbs up, showing that everything was okay. 

"Yes. Summer, you are really all I think about. And I really do hate the idea of anyone else having you." 

I smirked. "Well I'm sorry. I love Kellin; I'm not leaving him until he tells me to leave himself."

"Do you even understand how hard this is for me? One of the hardest things in life is watching the one you love, love someone else." 

"Do you understand how hard this is for ME? I need to be there for Kellin when I can't even stand texting him. KC, we broke up for a reason. Get your shit together and figure out that reason." I hissed. I hung up my phone and groaned. 

"You okay?" Blu asked quietly, not waking the others in the van with us. 

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Who called?" Trent asked. 

"KC." I breathed. 


"And I'm done with him. No more." I smiled. Yes, it was fake. But fake or not, it's true. I'm done.


"Blu, this isn't going to help!" I whined as she pulled me into some slutty clothing store. 

I've been upset for the past couple days. I hadn't talked to Kellin since the other night in the van. I think he's finally realized that we aren't meant to be together because he hasn't tried to talk to me either. 

Blu was concerned about our relationship. She says that I need to apologize in a way he can't forget. And whenever it comes to Blu, things will get reviling. That's why I'm standing awkwardly with her in some slut store. 

She tossed me some black lingerie. "Here, go try this on. Do you think Kellin likes white better than black?" Blu said. 

I groaned. "Blu, why are you doing this?" I asked. 

She smiled. "Because, Kellin will really like it. Do you know that sex brings a couple closer?" 

I groaned even louder. Were we seriously having this conversation? Luckily my phone rang. 'Iris' played from it. Kellin was finally calling me. 

"Hello?" I answered. 

"Hey Summer…" he said. 

"So, why did you call?" I smirked. 

"I wanted to apologize. I'm really stressed. Everyone has been bashing on me for having a child with my ex girlfriend when I'm with you. I love you Summer. Can you please forgive me?" he basically begged. 

I giggled. "Yes Kellin. I guess I'm going to have to." 

I heard him cheer. "Yes! Thank you babe. I love you!" 

I grinned. "I love you too. So, which color do you like better. Black or white?" I asked, giggling.

I don't know how many times we are going to have to apologize to each other before one of us gets our hearts broken. 


~Kellin's POV~

"Jesse, what about this one?" I asked him from the front lounge on our bus. We were traveling to our next city. I was busy on my laptop browsing through gifts to get Summer for Christmas. I was looking at jewelry at the moment. I made sure to keep Jesse by my side to get him opinion on everything I looked at. 

Earlier when I was on the phone with Summer, after I apologized for whatever it is that she thought I did, she told me about how she had a great Christmas present for me. Then I heard Blu laughing in the background. 

Jesse groaned. "What is it now?" He looked at the screen. 

I was looking at a silver necklace with a heart on it. I thought it was perfect, I hope Jesse does too. I really need another opinion. 

"It looks nice Kellin." Jesse smiled. 

"But not nice enough?" I asked. 

"I think it looks perfect for Summer. Now stop worrying." 

"I'm not worrying." I mumbled as I pouted. 

"I'm Kellin and I'm so in love with my girlfriend." Jack teased in a high pitched voice. 

"Oh, I wonder if she'll like this one. Or no, this one!" Gabe teased too. 

"Guys, shut up. Summer and I have a lot to make up for so leave us alone. And you two are certainly ones to talk. Didn't your last girlfriends dump you because you weren't affectionate enough?" I snapped at them. 

They grew silent. "Don't listen to them Kellin." Justin whispered to me. I think he knew what it felt like, him being head over heels in love with Blu and all. I really don't know why he didn't ask her out before. What if he never again gets the change?

I smiled and nodded to him, closing my laptop. "I'm going to bed." I mumbled. I walked out of the front lounge and away from the people in there. Only Jesse knows what love like this feels like. That's how I know Jesse won't laugh. 


~Summer's POV~

~The ambulance ride to the hospital was the worst time of my life. Not knowing whether if my dad and brother made it or not. I couldn't stay still. I was fidgeting like crazy. I was the only one moving though. My mom looked down at her naked feet and stared blankly. My sister did the same, except she was sobbing. They were doing this while I was moving my limbs everywhere, shaking, twitching, looking around the room, and fighting the battle to not get up and jump around. 

I held Rick's hand tightly as the paramedics tried to help him. His breathing was quickly decreasing. She was my father's. My mom and sister held his hands. 

I always felt close to my brother. We never fought, and if we did we would make up faster than Superman. And I was close to my dad too. I have to admit that I'm a daddy's girl. If he's here or not. We would take walks, talk about our days, sing things together. Whenever he had to stay long nights putting dead bodies in the morgue he would always tell me, "If ever a day goes by and I forget to tell you I love you, know always that I do." I can't remember where I had heard it from, but I heard that somewhere else. 

My family and I used to be so close. That all stopped on this terrible night. I didn't talk to anyone except for my Aunt Jazz for a while. About a month probably. 

We pulled up at the hospital. It all happened so fast. For some reason Rick had to be rushed into the hospital faster than my dad. The next thing I knew was that we were waiting in a hospital waiting room, in our pajamas. 

My sister wasn't the only one sobbing now. So was my mom because she didn't have the love of her life's hand to hold. I was still fidgeting. And after a while I started pacing.

"Sit down Summer!" my mother ordered in a hiss through all her silent tears. 

I did as I was told and sat back down in my seat. It felt like hours had passed, but it was only twenty minutes when the doctor came out of the room with that held my brother. Then he muttered those few words that I hated hearing. "I'm sorry, but Rick Parker has passed." 

We were all stuck. We couldn't process it. Especially me. Rick was my best friend. We hung out everyday. 

The news got even worse when just two hours later the doctor came to us again with those same words about my father. My daddy. Dead along side with my brother.~

My eyes quickly opened as we drove to our next city. Everyone else in the can was asleep besides River, who was driving. He was on the phone with his boyfriend. They were playfully arguing. It was cute. 

I couldn't help but think about that dream. I was dreaming about my brother's and father's death? About how it was my fault. That dream was terrible. 

People would normally say that I'm a hero. If I didn't wake up and see our house burning we would have all died. But no. I'm not a hero in my eyes. In my eyes all I am is unlucky. Look at how many people I have lost. My dad, my brother, my aunt, and what most people don't know is Jessica. I always tell everyone that she and I don't talk anymore because we got into a fight. The truth is that back in 2005 she had committed suicide after one of her many boyfriends cheated on her. I don't even think Justin knows that. 

I killed my brother. I killed my father. I killed my aunt. I killed my cousin. And I didn't even know it. I'm a murderer. My unluckiness kills the people who I am closest too. That's why I have never gotten as close to my band, my mom, and my sister as I have with the others. And I can never get too close to Kellin. Even if one day we get married, have kids, and spend the rest of our lives together…

I have my secrets. I will always have them. I don't think I will ever share them. Period. Even if Kellin tells me his whole life story. I just couldn't do the same. 

My secrets aren't bad. The worst is one you already know. Someone does actually know it. Steve, remember? I was anorexic. He knows, but no one else does. 

My second biggest secret would probably be that I was engaged before. Once when I went to Scotland to visit my friend for the first time in years I brought KC. This was when we were dating a while back. Probably about a year ago. Anyways he asked me and I stupidly said yes. We were engaged for a week before I realized I didn't want to get married yet. We never told anyone. Not even my friend and family. We kept it to ourselves. 

All together I probably have like six secrets, two you already know. 

"Hey Summer?" River asked quietly. When did he get off the phone with Aaron?

I looked away from my widow and faced the driver’s seat since I was in passenger. "Yeah Riv?" I asked back with the same volume. 

"No matter what happens with Kellin, Bethany, and the baby he will still always love you. And I'm sure that the baby will love you too." He smiled at me. 

I nodded in agreement. "I'm not too sure about Kellin, but if I stick around I just really want to baby to think of me as family. I already love the little girl." I smiled back. I do. She's apart of Kellin now, and if she's apart of Kellin I'll love her all the same. I want to be there when Beth won't and when Kellin needs me. 

"Have they picked out a name yet?"

I sighed. "Yeah. Scarlett Bethany Bostwick." 

He lightly chuckled. "She must really think highly of herself."

"What do you mean?"

"She shouldn't make the child's middle name her first name when the father and her aren't together. It's like Beth is just choosing everything for the baby. Like she's the queen of everything. Like she doesn't like Kellin." River explained. 

That would make a lot of sense. "I hope when Scarlett is born she will like me. I am in fact her daddy's girlfriend."

"If I were you I would be more concerned if Beth likes you or not."

"Why?" I wondered. 

"Because, if she doesn't then she will have the power to choose if you can see little Scarlett or not." River stated. 

"Wait, so you are telling me that she can say who and who can't come around Scarlett without asking Kellin?" I overreacted. I hope Kellin knows this…

"Yep. Mothers usually get to control the children in this type of relationship. Fathers don't often get a say."

"So if Beth says I can't see Scarlett I have to listen to her, but if Kellin says Beth's boyfriend can't see her it doesn't matter?" I asked. 

River nodded. 

I groaned. I better make a good impression on Bethany or else I can't see Kellin's first child. Great. 

A/N: Pic in the side is of KC. I hope you liked this. I'm going to give you a hint on the next chapter; it's about after Summer's done with the UK tour. I'm really excited about it. ;D Anyways, remember to vote if you liked this chapter, comment and tell me what you thought, and fan me for notifications about this story. Thanks for reading lovelies! 


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