Chapter 30. Puppies and Apologies

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Puppies and Apologies

Song: Apologize by OneRepublic



I exhaled. I was at a mix of emotions. So many things were racking my brain. Am I just getting fat? Would Kellin leave if I was actually pregnant? Why is my period late?

One thing I know for sure is that I'm glad I'm not pregnant. I love babies, but with touring, the fact that Kellin and I have only been dating for about five months, and how he's already going to be a father, me being pregers would not work.

I snapped the test in half and through it away. I washed my hands and plastered a fake smile on my face. Kellin can't tell the difference. He never does.

I walked out and Kellin rushed to me. "Summer, what did it say? Where's the test?!" he frantically said.

I looked into his eyes. "I threw it away. It was negative. I'm not pregnant..." I reassured him. Things weren't adding up. It was upsetting me.

"Wait, so why are you sad then?"

I shook my head. "It's nothing. I just think I'm getting..." I shrugged.

He exhaled and rubbed his face with his hands. "Summer, you aren't fat so don't even think that. I think you are beautiful."

"Yeah, but that's YOU! And I never said I was fat. I was actually going to say I think I'm getting too stressed over this." I muttered. I remember hearing somewhere that when you stress about thinking you are pregnant when you really aren't then your period is late. So, maybe that could by why mine is late. I think I heard that from Onision...

He exhaled. "Then what's the deal?! You're skinnier than a flagpole, your period is late, you're getting mood swings, and you've just plainly been acting weird. What's wrong?"

I looked at him with my eyes wide. I'm fine, right? I'm only skinny in his eyes because I'm a small person. My period is probably late because of stress or something. I'm a female, I get moody. And I've always been weird. Nothing is new. Well, almost nothing. But still, I'm the same me as I've always been. I guess I just made a stupid assumption thinking I was pregnant.

"Nothing Kellin. I'm sorry I ruined the night by making you worried. I just thought, since things added up for a short amount of time." I mumbled, looking down. And now they don't and I'm confused.

"You're right, this was a pretty good way to fuck up a night like this." he whispered.

That stung. I knew it did as soon as the tears starting building up in my eyes and sobs filled my throat. A single tear came out of my eye, streamed down my face, and fell to my feet. "I'm sorry." I mumbled. "I'm an idiot for thinking I was pregnant. My period was late so I freaked. I'm sorry."

He frowned. "Summer, don't go beating yourself up like that. I don't like it."

"Then don't start! I said I was sorry." I hissed. My voice cracked and he sighed.

Kellin gently grabbed my hand and lead me outside. "Summer, I'm sorry too. But you know I'm stressed, just like you. I'm having a baby with my ex for fucks sake! I've never been more stressed in my life. And you know that. I just don't understand why you would drop such a big bomb on me like that." Kellin really did look sorry.

I slowly snaked my arms around his neck then stood on my toes to kiss his cheek. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, wrapping his right arm around my waist while the other stayed limp by his side. I closed mine as well. "I'm sorry Kell. I really am. I swear that I'll never freak you out like that again." I whispered softly.

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