Chapter 46. Practice Makes Perfect

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Practice Makes Perfect

Song: Hold On Till May by Pierce The Veil

~Summer~

It's really weird being back in California. I'm only here for one more night, but I'm so used to Michigan. Tomorrow morning I'll be on my way back to Kellin, Scarlett, and my house. 

Tonight I'm hanging out with my band mates, Carolyn, Aaron, and CC. I'm not going to see them until the wedding rolls around, so why not chill tonight? We're at Zack's place. Zack is playing Xbox with Carolyn, River and Aaron are sharing a bowl of ice cream in the kitchen, Blu and CC are cuddling in the love seat, and Ian is sitting in the corner on his phone. He might be texting his girlfriend. I don't know. 

The service for my grandpa was a couple days ago. We had the memorial service in the morning and then the burial in the afternoon. I spoke a tiny bit, shared a story or two. Mostly Mom spoke though. 

The burial was the first time I cried about this. It made it all so real. Luckily I have my friends here to help me out in my time of need. 

I sighed, looking over everyone again. Everyone was having fun… all except for Ian. He looked more bored than when he was in high school. After a minute he stood from his seat, claiming to be going outside for some fresh air. He walked out to the backyard, shutting the door behind him. What's up with him?

I followed. No one noticed, really. Zack and Carolyn were too enthralled in their video game. Aaron and River were too enthralled in each other. Blu and CC were too enthralled in the small baby bump Blu has. 

Talking to him alone would be good. I wanted to ask him something anyways. I was on the phone with Kellin yesterday and we decided that he can find another groomsmen. I want Ian to walk me down the aisle. 

I walked through the grass outside and sat down next to Ian. He was leaning up against a tree. He noticed me, but didn't bother to look. I wanted to ask if everything was okay. I wanted to say something first, but he beat me to it. He automatically knew why I came out here, and that was to get answers on what was up. 

"Dakota broke up with me," he breathed out shakily. His eyes were set on the old white fence across from us. His legs were stretched out in front of his. His fingers digging into his hands. His breathing was loud. The love of his life broke up with him. 

"Oh Ian… I'm sorry. Do you know why?" I whispered. I was curious now. I thought she was better than that. Dakota knows how much Ian loves her. Why go and break his heart?

He nodded, tightly shutting his eyes. When he opened them back up they were red and glossy. "Yeah. She said she doesn't love me the way I love her anymore. She said I'm nothing to her anymore. There I was, thinking she was the sweetest thing… she's not. She broke my heart. She doesn't care about me."

I shook my head no. "Ian, that's not true. She does care, just-"

"No," he cut in, "Dakota doesn't care. No one cares anymore. No one…"

What? Tons of people care. What kind of stuff has he been smoking, because his mind is not in the right place. "I didn't know you felt this way…" I mumbled. I reached my arm up from my side to gently rub his shoulder that was closest to me."

"Yeah, well I do. I've felt like a nobody for a long while now. Probably since the beginning of the year. I'm that guy in the band that no one likes or no one pays attention to. I'm the person no one cares about in the band."

"No, Ian, you aren't."

"I am. Summer, do I even mean anything to you?"

"W-what?" How dare he even say that? I love him! He's like my brother! He's my closest guy friend. 

"Blu's your best friend in the whole world AND maid of honor. Steve is the friend you always go to for advice or to talk to. River and you are always either joking around or shopping for guitars and sunglasses. Trent is your sports friend; you are the only one who he surfs with alone and we all know he won't surf with us if you aren't there. Zack is your party guy. You guys go to parties together all the time, whether it's club parties or even art shows. What friend am I? I'm nothing.

"My parents don't care about me. They care more about my younger sister and older brother. You know why? Because she's graduating high school as valedictorian and going to Italy for a writing scholarship and he's a freaking doctor with two kids. My siblings did something accomplishing. My sister is a future author and my brother is a dad and doctor. What am I? A loser band guy that can't even play guitar. No one cares."

I scoffed. "Ian, you couldn't be more wrong! Blu, Riv, Zack, and I love you so freaking much! As do our fans. And your parents care about you just as much as your siblings. You're a great guitarist."

"Why do I feel like shit than?" he hissed. 

"I don't know…" I murmured. 

"Exactly," he spat. "You don't."

"Is… is it because we don't show you how much we care about you enough?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes. Other times… it's myself."

I wish I had known he felt like this earlier. Maybe I could have helped. But it's the same way with me. I was having issues and I kept them to myself. 

"Ian… you are my best guy friend. I'm closer to you than I am with Kellin. And I'm marrying him! You have been with me since day one. I remember seeing you at the park after the service for my dad and Rick. You didn't question why I was crying. I remember how you hugged me… a random stranger."

"Well, I wanted you to stop crying…"

"Exactly. You're so caring, and sweet. That's one of the reasons why myself and our best friends love you. And don't say that you're nothing to me. So what if Blu is my best girl friend, River is the person I talk music with, I go to stupid parties with Zack, I talk to Steve about stuff, or I surf with Trent? You're my best guy friend. I think that beats surf buddies," I whispered. 

For the first time all night he actually smiled. At least, I think he did. It's dark outside, so it's hard to see. "Thank you Summer. You're my best girl friend. And thank you for coming out here with me. I didn't really want to be alone, but I also didn't want to be in that room with everyone," he explained. I understand that. You want to be alone, but also want company. It's complicated, but I get it completely. I've been in that position before. 

I smirked. "Ian? I know something that will make you feel better."

"What?"

"I was talking to Kells on the phone and I asked him if he could maybe find another groomsmen… because I want you to walk me down the aisle, and give me away."

His eyes darted to me. He looked… shocked. Is this really shocking? Wow. "Summer… I…"

"So you'll do it? You're my best guy friend! You have to!" I playfully whined. 

He grinned. "Thank you, so much Summer. I would be glad to walk you down the aisle. And give you away to Kellin. This means a lot to me, you don't even know how much-" 

"I think I do," I laughed. 

He laughed along with me before standing up. He held out a hand for me to grab and pull myself up. "I guess we should get back inside, huh?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Come on, lets go."

----

I'm back in Michigan, unpacking my luggage from the past four days. I'm bustling around the bedroom, putting my clothes and other things away. Kellin is laying on the bed, saying I need to sit down and relax. 

Honestly, I can't. I need to keep moving. That's why I'm rapidly putting away things, to distract myself. So my grandfather passed away, Ian feels uncared for, Kellin is marrying me in almost a month and a half, and Blu is prego. I'm stressed out. I should sit down…

I sighed, giving into Kellin. I sat at the end of the bed, cradling my head in my hands. I felt Kellin shift on the bed and sit on his knees behind me. His hands were gently placed on my shoulders. He started rubbing. I could feel his hot breath on the back of my neck. 

I groaned. His massaging felt good. It was relaxing and making me forget all the stress. His hands just felt so good. 

He chuckled. "Tired?"

"Stressed," I corrected. 

"Oh. I'm sorry. Why?" he asked. 

I tried to shrug, but his hands made it so I couldn't. "The wedding, Ian, Grandpa, the baby growing inside Blu's body… it's a lot on the mind, ya know?" 

"Mhmm… you just need a distraction. Try to relax and not think about all of that…" His lips were pressed against the side of my neck… at a ticklish spot. 

I giggled. "Kells, what are you- hehe, stop, it tickles! What are you doing?"

He pecked my cheek before pulling his face away. "Giving you a distraction."

I shook my head, smirking. Sex is not the distraction I need. I don't relax when I have sex. More things run through my head during sex than any other time of the day. "I don't think sex is a good distraction."

He scoffed playfully, a grin dominating all other facial expressions. "I never said I wanted sex!" Kellin poorly defended. 

I giggled once again. "You never said it, but I know you want it. No sex."

"But Summer!" he whined in my ear. 

"But Kellin!" I mimicked. 

"We haven't had sex in forever," he stated, "and we
need to!"

"We need to?" Ha-freaking-ha! More like he wants to. "Why would we need to?"

He turned me around so the front of my body was facing him. I sat Indian style at the end of the bed, looking up at him since he was still on his knees. He placed his hands on top of mine. "We need to practice."

Pfftt! "Practice? Practice for what?" I raised an eyebrow. 

"Our honeymoon and wedding night."

"Kellin, we don't need to practice sex. We've had sex before."

"Yes, we've had sex before. But that doesn't mean we can't practice. Practice makes perfect, ya know?"

I cocked my head to the side. "You don't think our sex life is perfect?" Why not? Am I not moaning enough? Am I not making enough eye contact? Is there not enough kissing? I don't understand. 

He shook his head. "There's always room for improvement."

"So you're saying our sex life could be better?" I don't see the problem with our sex. I do everything to please him! I give him hand jobs, I blow him, I ride well, I let him do whatever to me…

He shrugged. "Like I said, practice makes perfect." He leaned down to press a kiss to my lips. 

I pulled about an inch away. "I'm not sure if we should do this… shouldn't we like… keep it to ourselves until the wedding?"

He chuckled. "I don't think I can." And with that, he pressed his lips to mine again. He gripped my waist and laid down so I was straddling him. He moved his lips to my jaw. 

For the final time, I said, "I'm not sure about this…"

----

"Holy fuck, that was amazing. I don't know what was different but that was the best sex I've ever had," I breathed out, pulling the blankets up to cover myself. 

Kellin had taken control not too long into things. He made me rude him (not like I would protest) and then we did round two in the shower. He carried my wet body that was attached and connected to him back to the bed, where we climaxed in missionary position. I can't put my finger on it, but something was different this time. It made everything feel so much better. The only other time sex has been like that was back in Vegas. 

I didn't even have to look over at my tired man to see that he was smirking with pride. "So, that was a bad idea, huh?" he teased. 

I rolled my eyes as sweat and water from the shower covered my face. We made the bed wet from the shower, but we didn't give a damn. "Shut up. It was an amazing idea," I mumbled. 

"See, I knew it. And it was great practice. You know what I say," he murmured. 

I smirked. "Practice makes perfect… oh, practice makes fucking perfect."

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