I Still Want You [Taekook] ✔

Chapter 13

Seoul - October 2016

Taehyung's P.O.V

I ran out of the recording room. Oh, my God. For more than a month, I tried to ignore all my feeling, hides them in the darkest and deepest place of my heart. I build a wall so I'm not broken apart. However that wall collapse, in a matter of second. I really can't afford to deaden the pain of my heart for letting him go. Have I let him go?

"Taehyung..." Bogum Hyung tried to call me, but I ignore him. I'm ashamed. Ashamed to show this side of me to him. So I just kept running without looking back. At the end of the hall was a storage room. Without thinking, I entered and locked the door from the inside. I heard the sound of someone running, and I know it must be Bogum Hyung tried to look for me.

"Why it's so painful?" I cry harder with my hands in my mouth, tried to muffle the sob.

My hands trembling so bad. Why I can't stop this tears? I thought seeing him happy is enough for me. I thought I already let him go. I thought that I'm okay without him. yet I'm hurting so much because I miss him, never knew that I long for him this much. I'm crying even harder. those bright eyes, those bunny smile, I really miss him. God, why this is so unfair? when I see those red lips, our last kiss feel so real. when I see those well-defined bodies, it feels like just yesterday I hugged him.

No Taehyung. No. I can't do this, you can't be like this. Both of us have become a story of the past, so I need to let him go. For his own good. what's written by God for me is the best for him. I had to show him that I was fine. I can't make him worried about me, can't make him sad. He hates to see me cry. I wipe my tears. Because I'm his strong baby boy, that's what he always said. And I feel so pathetic at the tough of that.

I decided to go back to my apartment before I burst out again. I never thought that meeting him can erode my soul this much. I missed Jin Hyung's nagging, missed Namjoon Hyung's advice, missed Yoongi Hyung's caringness, missed Hoseok Hyung's smile, missed a chat with Jimin, and no words can describe how much I missed that person.

I reached the lobby when realizing that I didn't have my phone with me. Do I have to go back upstairs? No, I'm going to go home. Bogum Hyung will bring it for me.

When I got to the front of the building, suddenly a bottle of mineral water thrown at me.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Shit. There are BTS fans in front of the building. I didn't notice them before. What should I do? I tried to hurry to get back into the building. Unfortunately, someone pulled my hair. Bitch.

They bombarded me with the question "What are you doing here?", which doesn't get any answers at all from me. And that only makes them even more furious. They started insulting me, calling me "disgusting","ugly","fagot","useless" even called me "Dog" and "Pig". They pulled my hair, soaked me with their drinks, rocked my body. Why don't I fight back? Am I that weak? No. I have a black belt in Taekwondo, I can easily tear their mouths and pulled their hair up bald. but do you know, no matter how strong your body is, if your heart is slaughtered, then you wouldn't be able to do anything.

all my attempts to stay alive for the past month have been in vain. All their insults, their humiliation, make me crumble again. For a month my family has been trying so hard on bandaging my scattered broken heart, but they easily destroy it again. They kept asking me and forcing me to speak, but I stay silent. Because no words can explain what's going on in my mind and my heart, no words can describe how painful it's for me. And no matter what I said, nothing can satisfy them.

One of them pushed me until I fell. They surround me like a flock of lions that conquers their prey. Suddenly, I feel a tightening of my throat and a short intake of breath. Tears raced down my cheeks. How pitiful I am. I can't even protect myself. I cried and kept crying until someone pulled me into his arms and led me back inside the building. It must be Bogum Hyung. God, why I always bring him into trouble. I snuggle my face deeper into his neck tried to muffle my sob. but something feels wrong.