But A Dream

The Trujillo Family

Dylan version
After bringing home Suzanne from the hospital, she has is a blessing to all of us.

There's so many things I want to describe how I'm feeling of becoming a mother to this amazing angel.

Gerald can't stop obsessing over how he'll be spoiling her, protecting her. It was our dream to become parents.

He doesn't give me a chance to be around her most of the time but I get it. He's just happy to have Suzanne around.

But honestly there's one piece missing in my life. My other part of the family. The Trujillo's. Most importantly my cousin Anthony. And yeah also Thomas.

Before I met Gerald, Matt, Jess, Mama G and the whole crew that I consider as my family now, i had them in some parts I can barely remember from my childhood.

It's still a hectic relationship to have with them after and even before my mother's death.

My grandmother never loved me as I wanted it to be. None of my aunts and uncles wanted me to be part of the family, or my cousins but not all well majority of them hated me for no reason. But not Anthony and sometimes Thomas eh he can be an asshole some time to time.

Since the whole family well majority of them hated me and my mother, Anthony never had that ego or bad energy between us. All though his mom would try to brain wash him how I will end up like my mother and how I'm till this day a disgrace to the family, he never had that in his life.

Anthony to me was like my brother. He protected me from my family when they wanted to talk shit, from all the guys or how he called them fuckboys in school, from my psycho father, he didn't care if he was beat up badly from him. He did it to protect me. He also taught me many things from the good to bad, to survive since nobody wanted to help us. He was my role model.

On the other hand Thomas is in that way but an asshole most of the time. He would be in the side of the family talking straight shit of me. Literally he would back stab me so many times when we were kids. And guessing now he still does them. But Anthony would stop him from doing all those things to me.

I haven't talked to him after my mother's funeral after my family hurt me in so many ways. I never knew Anthony would ever do such a thing to hurt me. I know he had to do it because my grandmother told he to. He didn't had a choice to stop it. He was afraid that everyone will turn against him even his own parents.

I did invite everyone even Anthony to the shower. I was thrilled to see him again from all these years but he never dared to show up. And that did hurt me a lot. I wanted him to meet Gerald and his niece. He was the other person in my life when I was alone these years.

I do want to know why did he start having this hate and this evil ego against me for no reason. We were so close when we were kids. But why did he do it? What made him be this way?

Gerald and I were in the living room watching a movie. We were both falling asleep in the couch.We don't get that much sleep since Suzanne loves to wake us up in the middle of the night. Hey I guess that how parenthood goes. Then we heard Suzanne's cries. "I guess she's hungry." I get up from the couch. Then Gerald grabs my hand.
"I'll go check what's up with my princess, you just sit here and rest."
"Sure? You seem tired. I'm getting worried because you're going to be touring soon."
"Babe, I'm fine. You know we're just getting use to this right? It's part of being parents."
"Yeah I guess you're right. I was being paranoid." He kisses my forehead. He goes to Suzanne's room. My eyes began to close but by bit. I yawn before I shut my eyes close until I heard the door bell. I get up from the couch.