After Change (Kian Lawley) {BOOK 4}

68

"I will not let you see him. Not again. The last time you went to see him, we almost lost our grandson. I can only imagine what he'll try to do this time." Kian said, standing up and pacing around the room.

"You have to read the letter to understand why I have to see him, Kian. I wouldn't be wanting to see him if it weren't urgent." I tried explain. I had to see him.

Kian's breathing accelerated as he pulled on the roots of his hair, his biceps flexing with each tug. His skin looked red under all of his tattoos.

"Kian, please listen to me." I said, walking over to him and grabbing his wrist. He stopped and looked at me, dropping his hand from his hair. "Please." I handed the letter to him. "Read it."

He sighed and dropped his shoulders. His eyes fell to the paper and he started reading it out loud.

Haylie,

I know you probably hate me and I deserve all the hate you have for me. I deserve all of the names you've called me. I deserved to be in jail for everything I've done to you.

Please, just let me explain. I'm not saying you have to forgive me. Actually, I don't expect you to forgive me. Just read this and think about what's said.

I'm sorry. I've never been sorry for anything in my life but I know damn well I'm sorry about all the shit I put you, and your family, through. I'm sorry for sexually assaulting you. I'm sorry for cheating on you. I'm sorry for threatening you. I'm so fucking sorry for everything, Haylie.

But to be honest, Andrea is the one that made me do everything. She's the one that forced me to do awful things to you. She's the one that told me to do everything to you. She threatened me if I didn't do what she said. Ever since Kian left her for you, she's wanted me to get him back for her. She wanted me to take you away from him so he'd go back to her. She threatened to kill me, Haylie. I couldn't go to the police because she had people with her. She told me that she had people watching my every move. That's why I practically snuck around her to see you.

I have wanted to explain everything to you for so fucking long but I couldn't because of her. She stopped me from apologizing. She stopped me from talking to you. That's why I always wrote you letters. I have almost 100 letters to you that I've written over the years. I haven't given them to you because you hate me. I hate me too.

Haylie, I'm so fucking sorry. I know no words will help you forgive me but it's worth a shot. I still love you. No, i don't want to take you from Kian. No, i don't want to be with you. Well, I mean I wouldn't mind but you're happy and thats all I want for you. I want you as happy as hell. I want a smile on your face always. But I know that with me around, I know you won't have one on your face. I put a frown on your face when you hear my name.

There's something I'd like to tell you. This probably won't help either but you should know.

I am the one that found your parents. Your real parents. I found out who they were. I found out where they were living. I went to their house in New York and told them who I was. I told them who you were. I flew them back to California. I told them to act like they were the ones that were finding you. I told them not to mention me.

I'm sorry once again, Haylie. Please—at least tolerate me—forgive me.

- Cameron

Once Kian had finished reading the letter, he looked at me with his jaw dropped and tears filling he brims of his dark brown eyes.

"Haylie, I didn't know. Please. Go see him. But please, let me go with you." He begged.

"No, Kian. I need to do this myself." I said, softly. He swallowed, nodded and looked down. I sighed. "But you can drive me?"  He looked at me and smiled.