After Change (Kian Lawley) {BOOK 4}

51

Kian's POV

I almost punch the nightstand beside my bed but remember that it's pointless because it'll only bring pain to me. I wanted to smoke a cigarette but couldn't find my hidden pack in the nightstand. I looked again and found half of a pack of Marlboros hidden under some paperwork.

I hurriedly pulled one out of the rectangular box and held it to my chapped lips. I pulled the black lighter out of the pack and lit the cancer stick between my teeth. Once it was lit, I inhaled then pulled the cigarette from my mouth, holding it between my two fingers. I exhaled slowly, feeling all of the stress fall from my shoulders. I take another drag and repeat the steps over and over until it was down to the filter.

"Oh, so now you're smoking? Your wife is with a guy that raped her and is trying to kill you. You're a selfish asshole, Kian. Honestly." Nash said when he walked into my room and saw me putting out the cigarette.

My brown orbs dart into his blue ones for a split second. I look away because his stare was too intense. I rolled my eyes. "Fuck off, will you? You let her leave; not me. So don't be giving me shit for your mistake."

"I let her go because she deserved answers and we need to get all of the information we can out of him so we can turn his ass in again." He explained.

"We don't need your help. Why don't you just go home to your seven thousand kids?" I almost laugh at my comment.

"Wow, real mature, Kian." He said, walking out of the room.

I rolled my eyes once again and grabbed my phone from its spot on the bed beside me and unlocked it, going to Haylie's name. I hit call and let the phone ring.

"Can't talk right now. I'm driving home. We need to talk." She said then hung up without letting me say anything.

My anxiety poured over me like a waterfall and I started playing the 'what if?' game inside my head.

What if he's forcing her to leave me to be with him? What if he is actually trying to kill me? What if he comes after my kids?

What if he touches Haylie again?

That thought pushed me over the edge, as if, I wasn't already over it a long time ago.

I dropped my phone beside me and punched the nightstand as hard as I could. It didn't hurt but I knew that soon enough it would. It's probably broken. I honestly don't give a shit. I'm no fucking help in the first place.

Sounds of feet running through the hallway made me stop thinking about myself and about someone else.

Zack appeared in the doorway and looked at me. He's a fucking mirror image of myself and I hope to God he doesn't turn out like me. I hope he goes after his wife if something like this happens. I hope he fucking protects her with every fiber of his being. I hope he takes care of their children. I hope he never fucking gets a divorce because that hurts so fucking much.

"What the hell was that?" Zack asked, interrupting my thoughts.

I sighed while trying to get my breathing under control. "Nothing, I just punched the nightstand, I'm fine. Geez, thanks for checking on me, Dad."

He chuckled. "Where's Mom?"

"She's on her way home." I answered.

"Where was she?"

"With Cameron. She was getting answers and information." Why was I telling my 16 year old son what the hell was going on?

"What the hell? Why did you fucking let her leave!?" He shouted.

I rubbed my temple. Him yelling gave me a headache. "I didn't. I tried to make her stay here but fucking Nash let her leave."

"Well, do you know what happened or is she making you wait until she gets home?" He sat on the love seat by the bedroom door.

"She's making me wait until she gets home. I'd rather it be that way byways so she can actually calm me down if I needed to be."

Silence replaced the tension in the air and for awhile, I didn't say anything. I was too consumed in my own thoughts that I didn't realize that Zack left the room.

Soon enough, I heard the front door open then close, signaling me that Haylie was home.

Anxiety filled my entire body as her feet hit the wooden stairs. When she appeared in the doorway of our room, my anxiety was at an all time high.

She walked in and closed the door, sighing afterwards. She dropped her purse on the love seat by the wall and came to sit on the bed beside me. She laid beside me and I wrapped my arm around her. I let her relax for a little bit before I said anything.

"What happened?" I asked, softly.

She sighed again and propped herself up on her elbow with her hand on her head. "The main thing was that he wanted to make a deal."

"What kind of deal?" I said through gritted teeth. My hands turn into fists.

"He wants Sierra's baby and our family will be okay and nobody will be hurt." She explained.

I unclench my hands. "What did you say?"

"I said 'okay'." She looked down.

"You don't think Sierra will care, do you? I mean, considering it is her baby and we just practically sold it, you don't think she'll be pissed? She's going to grow attached to it as the pregnancy goes on. Do you think she'll understand?" I asked, caressing her hip with my calloused fingers.

Once again, she sighs. "I hope she does. But then again, she is ours so I don't think she'll get it." Haylie chuckles softly. I do the same.

"Yeah, you're right on that one."

"We'll talk to her about it tomorrow. I'm way too fucking stressed and freaked out about all of this and I just want to sleep." She cuddled into my side.

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