Me: wiki- what the fuck
Friend: what did you do this time
Me: it wasn't me, it was Wikipedia
Friend: oh, the 'unreliable source' website
Me: y e p.
Friend: what's happening there
Me: someone put a Yuri on ice character into the main paragraph and I'm laughing
Friend: wait what *pushes me aside and takes computer* iTS KATSUKI YUURI
Me: you sounded exactly like-
Friend: kATSUKI YUURI
Me: ok I get it but
Friend: KATSUKI YUURI
Me: *throws eraser at friend* my favorite character is-
Me: *looks at smudged writing on hand*
Me: pitch it chew on that
Friend: Phichit Chulanont?
Me: um yeah, I mean besides
Me: *looks at other hand*
Me: vodka nikiforehead
Friend: Victor Nikiforov
Me: idk tAKE MY MEMES *throws papers*
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Me: skate fast eat ass
Friend: isn't that your username now
Me: yep
Friend: okay, flashback to Vietnam war-
---
Me: *does skating twirl in hallway* SKATE FAST EAT ASS
Friend: bro wtf
Me: gOTTA GO FAST
Me: SANIC
Friend: I-
Me: -am katsu-done with your shit *points at rival*
Rival: what the hell are you
Me: majestic
Rival: ugly
Me: sorry I'm not a mirror *does skating twirl* get rekt
Rival: why are you even-
Me: DONT STOP US NOW- *points at Friend* ur cue m8
Friend: (monotone) I'll skate in your ass
Me: WE WERE BORN TO MAKE- wait what did you say
Friend: I said the moment of truth
Me: ...if you say so
Friend #2: think fast *throws sandwich at me*
Me: *spin kicks sandwich* I quadruple flipped that sandwich
Friend: that was a single loop-
Me: dONT RUIN MY SELF ESTEEEEEEEEEM
Friend: did you even have any in the first place
Me:
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Friend: ...
Me: yeah that's right actually
Friend: what
Me: *jumps* IMMA QUAD FLIP INTO THE SUN
Me: WOOO- *slams into locker*
Friend: oh god
---
Friend: that was an intense Vietnam flashback
Me: QUAD FLIP ME INTO THE SUN HELL YEAH
Me: skate fast eat ass *jumps over chair*
Me: *slips on paper and falls on back* ow I have to retire now its been a good 7 years of pro skating
Friend: you aren't professional and its only been one day
Me: shut uppp
Friend: wait look *points at screen*
Me: omg
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Me: my life is complete
Me: I am trash
Me: bury me
Friend: that's an odd kink-
Me: nO STOP I KNEW YOU WERE SECRETLY CHRISTOPHE
Friend: since when am i-
Me: since the field trip when you started walking around that lamp pole
Friend: what
Me: okay you were Christophe and I was Yuuri (except not drunk and not near you)
Friend: it wasn't even dancing, remember when Chris and his friends decided to 'pole dance' on the flag pole in front of the school
Me: oh god no
Me: there's a reason I repress those memories
Friend: *puts on glasses* rekt
Me: yeah yeah ok
YOU ARE READING
A Fangirl's Guide: How NOT To Survive School
RandomI mean, if you WANT a detention you can go ahead and say half the things in this book. I have no idea if you'll get expelled (even arrested) so... READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. Can't say I didn't warn you. Because I just did. Just be careful okay? I DIDN'T...
