love of my life (Hayes Grier)

chapter 84

we got into my car and i blasted the heat.

i drove home and we got out and went inside.

"hey hayes" zac said

"hey how are you" hayes said

"i'm good and you?" zac asked

"good" hayes said

me and hayes went up to my room and i handed him a towel, "go take a hot shower" i said

"i'm not even cold" he said

"yes you are now go. i'll find your clothes and leave them on my bed" i said

"okay" he said and kissed my head then went into my bathroom.

i went downstairs and hayes clothes were on top of the dryer so i put them upstairs on my bed then went back downstairs.

"gabs" zac said

"zacs" i said back

"me, you, dylan, and gavin and bella we're invited to go to the Olympics and meet people and all. i really wanna go, you in?" he asked

"when" i asked

"we would leave tomorrow and stay for 10 days" he said

"so we would be gone for christmas?" i asked

"yeah, but we'll still obviously celebrate it" he said

"sure. i think it would be nice for us" i said

"me too" zac said

"hayes always gets messed up around this time of year with his mom and all so i gotta make sure he's okay and all" i said

"okay" zac said

hayes came downstairs, "guys i'm really tired so i'm gonna go home and lay down" he said

"you can stay here, if you and nash are fighting then please just stay here" i said

he looked at zac, "you're always welcome here dude" zac said

"thank you guys" he said and went back upstairs.

zac left the kitchen and i sat down and just thought for a few minutes.

dave came in, "what's wrong cutie pie?" he asked and stood across from where i was sitting.

"nothing"i said

"gab" he said

"nothing's wrong leave me alone" i said

"i'm sorry" he said and left the kitchen.

zac came in and sat next to me, "talk to me" he said

"tomorrow is christmas eve, and the next day is christmas. then comes new years. i'm not letting kayla have no one on christmas. i'll stay home and go visit her" i said

"gab, she can't have visitors" zac said

"zac i have to. i can't leave her alone, that's not fair. imagine being alone on christmas" i said

"gabriella. look at me." zac said

i looked up at him and his eyes were filled with tears, "it kills me to know that i have no choice but to leave her alone on christmas. it's for her own good kiddo. she tried to kill you, i know you're over that and already forgive her but she needs this to get better. and i have to keep two little girls safe in life, and that's you and bella. you mean the world to me and i know this hurts you. it hurts me and dyl too but bubs it's got her own help, this is only helping her, it's not hurting her" zac said

"zac it is hurting her. i would hurt so bad if i was alone starring at a grey wall on christmas" i said

"i know, but in the long run it's helping her" he said

"i can't i'm sorry. i love you and you're the best person ever and i know you care for me and my safety but i'm sorry zac, my hearts too big" i said

"and i'm sorry but you have no choice but to come. i have to keep you safe" he said and got up and left.

he went into the bathroom and i heard sniffling then he came out with red eyes and went upstairs.

dylan came into the kitchen, "what the hell is wrong with you? it kills zac to know that kayla has to sit alone around the holidays, he's doing this for you. it's to keep you safe. stop being so selfish, he's trying" dylan said

i didn't know what to say, i got up and grabbed my keys and left.

i just drove and drove and didn't answer anyone's calls.

My life has seriously sucked, yeah i have a great family and great friends but i hate this. i hate the whole kayla situation. i hate that zac has been raising me since he was 20. i hate all of this" i said

i saw my anxiety pills in my purse, i pulled them out and held them in my hand.

i pulled into a leaking lot and turned my car off.

i poured the pills into my hand and picked up a bottle of water, why should i do this?

i just need my mom, i need this pain to be over.

i texted hayes "i love you. thank you for you're unconditional love. find a girl and never let go hayes, you deserve the world"

i then texted zac, "thank you zachary, i love you beyond words. you deserve the world"

i shut my phone off and swallowed the pills and sat there.

i finally couldn't see or hear anything.