Learning to Trust

Chapter 24 - You Didn't Deserve This

It's confusing to think about. It really just affects everyone in a different way.

I snap back into reality when Beatrice whines and squirms in Caleb's arms.

"I think it's your turn, Mommy." He says handing me Beatrice and kissing my forehead. "I'll go make us some coffee."

I smile.

Things are going to turn out okay, right?

   
  
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"You go first. I'll wait out here with Bea." He tells me and I don't disagree.

I follow Julie, Tris's nurse through the door.

I know Julie from working at the hospital. No, I don't know her very well, but I know her more than some people here. We were both nurses for the same patient once. She's a very nice woman, and a very good nurse.

I'm glad that Tris has her as a nurse.

I also know Tris's doctor. She's a newer doctor here, and very good at what she does.

I feel a tiny bit better knowing that Tris in in good hands with a good doctor and nurse.

"She's in here. If she starts to wake up, get out of there. Yes, it sounds cruel, but we need to closely monitor her if she's going to be awake and who knows what could happen if she freaks."

"Okay. Thanks." I say opening the door attached to the small hallway with a bunch of computers in it. They probably are monitoring Tris every second.

The room is tiny and almost dark because of the lights being dimmed so much. There's a bunch of machines beeping and the constant humming of the oxygen tank.

Against the back wall is a regular sized bed, and on it lays Tris; sickly pale, so skinny that it looks painful, and unmoving except for the slight rise and fall of her chest.

"Hi, Tris. It's me, Cara."

Her leg has a huge cast around it. It must weigh as much as she does right now. There's IVs going into her foot, hand and arm.

She's basically buried in tubes and needles.

If you were looking around all of the tubes, at fist glance, you may think she was sleeping.

But she's not.

I just can't take it anymore.

I let the tears fall.

She doesn't deserve this. 

All she wanted was to safe people; to keep people from getting hurt.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this." I sob taking her hand.

"I don't know if you can hear me, but please keep fighting, please Tris. The world is better now, and you deserve to see it the was it is now. Please, don't give up. It may seem like the easier choice; no, it is the easier choice, but it's not the better one anymore. You deserve to live. You deserve to get a life outside of war and fighting for your life." I rub her warm hand in mine, avoiding the IV that is going into it. It's warmth makes me remember that she's not dead yet.

"The choice is yours, Tris. You're strong, and you're smart. I know you'll make the choice that's right for you. You just don't deserve to be in this spot. You deserve so much better. I'm so sorry. I should've done more to try and save you."

"I never really got to thank you either, for taking a few bullets for the baby and I." I decide to not tell her about Beatrice's name; it's just not the right time. "She's a healthy and happy baby, and she would've not of even been here if it wasn't for you, so thank you. I can't wait for you to meet her... She looks a lot like you. I can already tell she misses not getting to see you. I could tell how much she loved you, how she would kick whenever you'd touch my stomach. She really loves you Tris, so please, just wake up so you can see her." The tears don't stop.

"You deserve so much better than this, Tris. I'm so sorry. I'll see you soon. Wake up while I'm gone please, okay?"

For a second, I feel like her hand twitches in mine. I gasp, holding my breath and hoping for the best, but her hand stays limb in mine and the calm rise and fall of her chest doesn't change.

"I'm so sorry." I barely whisper one last time before I leave.

A/N

Hi humans!

How y'all doing?

Qotc: Favorite restaurant?/ Favorite place to eat out or other than home? (Doesn't have to be a chain place)

Aotc: Hmm... Probably Five Guys or Chipotle...

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