Behind The Smile(Zoella)

Terrified

I can't believe this is nearly over! I think maybe 2/3 more updates and it will be the end!! I hope you enjoy this update, I get be feeling a lot of you have been waiting for it ;) xx
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I fished in my back pocket for my phone while Joe sat on the floor rocking back and forth.

I rang Alfie, he picked up after the first few rings.

"Hello?" He asked, in his groggy morning voice. It was so cute.

"Alfie," I whispered, trying to stay as calm as possible. "How quick do you think you could get here?"

"Erm, an hour maybe two?" He yawned. "Why?"

"Just, get someone to look after the twins as fast as you can and bring my hospital bag."

"Zoe you're not?" Alfie began... I thought about the question in my head.

I really hope with every bone in my body that what I'm about to say isnt true.

"Yes Alfie, I think I am," I whispered. "I'm getting contractions."

"Fuck!" I heard a huge stamp on the floor, which must have been Alfie jumping out of bed. He hung up straight after that while I sat next to my drunk brother.

He was more tipsy than anything else now, he wasn't him but he wasn't completely normal.

I was praying that traffic wasn't that bad at 4am because I don't know how much longer I can stay here without Alfie.

I began to panic but tried to remain calm.

It wasn't working. The bad things about this situation definitely out weighed the good.

I sat down by the staircase and began to cry out of sheer panic and misery. I only had one job and that was to keep this baby safe.

But here I was, coming up to 27 weeks pregnant and I've failed miserably. All I had to do was keep my stress down to a minimum for 13 more weeks and I did the complete opposite.

Why am I such a fuck up?

"Zoe, what's happening?" Joe whispered, everything made complete sense now.

"I'm not talking to you if you're drunk," I spat through the tears.

He gave me a sorry look and then wrapped his arm around me. I squirmed under his touch.

I feel sorry for him, I really do but getting drunk and then lashing out isn't the answer. Just looking at where I'm sitting, it's the only spot in the entrance that isn't covered in glass or picture frames.

"I'm sorry Zoe, I went the wrong way. I was angry and frustrated and you know.. It helped at first. Then, it went wrong and made a complete mess of things but this whole thing for the last hour and a halfs sobered me up."

I nodded and leant into his arms, I just needed somebody to hold me.

"Joe," I whispered. "I'm scared."

"You'll be fine Zoe, you're baby's will be a fighter. She'll be exactly like Mummy and Daddy and she'll fight for what she wants. She'll want to see you, so that's what she'll do," He smiled.

Alfie walked in, out of breath and panting.

"Zoe, I got a ticket for speeding but I'm here in an hour and a half," He panted, hurrying to sit next to me.

"Thankyou," I smiled, resting my head on Alfie's shoulder.

Joe looked at my funny, like he was hurt. He was just putting it on and I knew it I hadn't been in this position he would've made some comment.

"We have to try and make it as far home as we can," Alfie whispered. "The next door neighbour was up when I went so they're watching them for like 20 minutes while my Mum drove there. You don't have to worry about the twins."

I nodded about both things actually.

I couldn't really hear what was happening, I focused on the baby. By the fact that I've only had 2 contractions in the time I rang Alfie to now, I'm guessing (hoping) I can make it home.

"Take me home then," I muttered, Alfie dragged me up and I hobbled out to the car. Joe followed us and stood by the gate.

"I'm coming with you," He said, suddenly.

"No really Joe, you don't have to," I said as Alfie lowered me into the back seats of the car.

"I want to though, I'm the reason this has happened," He whispered, locking up the house and getting in the front of the car with Alfie.

We drove in silence apart from my occasional whining when the pain started up again.

"Zoe, are you okay?" Alfie asked when we were about half way home .

"I think so, the contractions are getting closer together though," I mumbled. Alfie nodded and took a sharp turn left off the motorway.

"Where are you going?" I managed to squeak as a contraction started up.

"I know a shortcut, I'm taking you straight to the hospital," Alfie said, firmly.

"Will they not send you away?" Joe asked as Alfie skidded around a roundabout. I'd shout at him but I can't be arsed too.

"Not if the baby's coming 2 months premature Joe!" Alfie yelled, I didn't think about it like that.
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We drove for another half hour and arrived at the hospital. Joe seemed to have sobered up more or less completely and was helping Alfie to drag me into the maternity wing.

"Zoe Deyes, she's gone into labour," Alfie said, breathlessly.

"How far apart are the contractions?" The receptionist said, completely uninterested. She didn't even look up from the bloody computer.

"About 20 minutes," Joe said, not thinking.

"Come back when they're 10 minutes or less apart," She waved us off. "Next."

"You don't understand," Alfie said, I was getting more annoyed by the second. Does she not care.

Well she quite obviously doesn't care but still! At least show a little compassion.

"I understand perfectly, I see hundreds of people like you a day. Next!" She shouted, making me jump. I blood began to boil, it's taking me every little bone in my body not to thwack her across the face.

"Listen here, lady!" I barked, she finally looked up from the damn computer. "This baby is coming far too early, my midwife said as soon as I had labour pains come to the hospital, immediately. So I'm not leaving here until I see her."

She nodded her head and typed away on her computer.

"She's coming along now," She nodded, obviously a little scared by my outburst. "Sorry."

"Thankyou very much," I smiled, sitting down on the chairs.

Francesca came running out, and looked at me in a panic.

"Zoe!" She said, running towards me. "Stay calm and come with me."

She took my arm, Alfie taking the other and then took my along to a room. Joe was waiting in the waiting room, he didn't want to make the situation awkward for himself.

I'm not ready to have the baby now. The baby isn't ready to be had, this shouldn't happen. I'm terrified right now, what's going to happen?