Quirk Of Fate

46- Dejection

Lost of hope or disappointment.

Rolling her veil over her head as she flipped it into a hijab form, she clipped it in place with the Daisy shaped clip she bought the day before. Deciding to go with salwar khamiz knowing it was bound to keep her comfy all day which was contrast to the ingoing uproar within her.

Picking her purse up from the vanity table to put it in her channel side bag, her expression changed suddenly as a paper slipped from the bag to the glass floor before her, she let into her emotions as her brows crease together in confusion wearing off when she realized how the paper got there. It's almost a year after her husband's dismissal and she refused to touch the bag since then knowing it was the bag she decided to keep his letter. She still couldn't brace herself up to finish the reading it knowing it was his last word to her and the mere thought of it set her heart ablaze.

Randomly selecting the bag because it happened to match her outfit, she reaches out for the paper with trembling hands, her heart racing as she unfolds every fold, her eyes sombre with emotions as she blinked her glassy eyes repeatedly clearing off the tears that were threatening to fall from it. Her quivering hands traced the familiar handwriting as her legs almost gave away making her drag the stool besides her to sit on, breathing in oxygen into her olfactory lobes before resuming from were she stopped.

"...with your beauty, you are better than the sun, with your morals, you are more sublime than musk, with your modesty, you are nobler than the full moon, with your compassion, you're more beneficial than the rain, so preserve your beauty with faith, tranquility with contentment, your chastity with hijab. Clothe yourself with modesty for you are the most beautiful woman in the world and bare it in mind that Allah will never burden a soul with more than it could contain because, wherever you go and find darkness in your life, the lamp within you would always be there to bring you light. I don't know the extent of my love for you, but I know that I'll take it with me till I breath my last knowing it would never vanish

Your lovely husband"

She cried aloud in pain, the pain of never getting to reciprocate his feelings back, the pain of doubting his feelings for her and using it as a cover to get her revenge, unbeknownst to her that his feelings was pure. Her elbows rested in the vanity table as she cupped her head with her right hand using the other hand to wipe away her unstopping tears.

She wasn't supposed to mourn him for this long but she couldn't help it because every memory of him was opening a fresh wound in her heart. She drew the drawer from her bedside table withdrawing an A4 paper as she furiously punched out words which have been piled up in her heart for so long. Although she knew he wasn't alive and won't be able to read out those words, but that was the only way for her to find solace.

And she hope he gets to know her feelings too wherever he is.

~•~

Her salwar khamiz outlined her pearl shaped figure as she worked out of the hospital not looking back, today have been extraordinarily tiring with Steven making matters worst, he was bound to coming late and today wasn't an exception. Her ridiculous flat stomach churned in hunger making her place her hand on it, she realised she've used up the little amount of food she ate yesterday night while standing and keeping up with attending to one patient to the other.

Her keys clinged together as she retrieved it from her small purse while ascending the car, she knew today was Khamamat's day off at work and wasn't in the mood to go home knowing she would have to cook for herself considering Fauza wasn't still at home and she desperately craves for home made food. She've refused returning back to her parents home knowing how awkward it could be under the company of her dad which she was already used to living without, she made them but the excuse of staying back for Fauza though they didn't fully believe her, they are just taking things slowly with her knowing how things have unexpectedly rushed in her life.

She checked her wrist watch for the fifth time since when she found her self amidst the traffic and her stomach was already grumbling aloud with no ounce of Shame in it. What Shame should it have when the owner was shameless enough to stave it since what she took the night before which was only a cup of maté tea and chocolate balls and leaving the house without taking a bite of anything apart from the glass of water she makes a responsibility on her to take every morning.

She checked her time again for the sixth time seeing it was almost noon as she took large gulps from the bottle of water she had in the car, her stomach was badly screaming for something to eat which made her to subconsciously retrieve her phone from her bag dialing in Khamamat's digits, she picked on the third ring shouting on the top of her lungs making Haleema to reflexly drag the phone away from her ear. She would have denied Khamamat ever having a child if she wasn't the one that helped her out during labor, she was too childish for someone of her age.

" Hey Khamamat please cook something homelike for me, I'm coming over to your house" she on the top of her lungs spoke when Khamamat's scream subsided making her groan from another churn she earned from her stomach.

" Are you really coming, okay tell me what you would like to eat, is it raffles ramen, noodles or I should just try out golubtsi, I found the recipe and I know...."

" Please Khamamat spare me the blabbers, I'm in for something simple, I'll be there in less than thirty minutes, the traffick has subsided already" she interrupted her prattle using her right hand to drive through the highway while she used the other to place her phone on her ear.

Hearing Khamamat mumble something incoherently but didn't bother to prick on it as her attention remained glued to the road, she wished she could just fly and reach Khamamat's house in the next second " you could have allow me cook something welcoming for you, it have been long....."

" Khamamat please spare me, you can try out your cooking skills some other time but I'm hungry at the moment" she paused holding her stomach which was too stubborn to understand the fact that it had to be patient for her to reach the house on time so she could fill it up " if you have leftover stew in store, just boil some rice for me, I'm now craving freshly cooked rice" she added rubbing her stomach as she kept the phone on her lap putting it on handsfree.

" But..."

" Bye..." She cut off cutting the call knowing Khamamat was using the time she was supposed to cook for her bickering knowing and she wasn't far from the house.

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