Quirk Of Fate

13-Melancholy

State of being greatly sad or depressed.

He prostates for a long time regretting all his actions in this world, he cried out to his lord because he knew he was the only one that could hear him out.

He couldn't forgive himself knowing no matter how close she was in his heart, they were still far away from each other. No matter the counts of thousands of miles that keep them apart, she still remained linked to his heart and would never forget her until the day of his dismissal, being sure was still going to take the feelings away with him to his grave.

He sat down muttering his tahiya as he allowed the alkaline texture run down smoothly on his cheeks, it was filled with lots of emotions, that of burden, worries and sadness.

This was the most peaceful time in his days, yet it seemed complicated. The night was silent only disturbed by the cries of owls, but it was the most Serene moment of his life.

He poured out every worries to his lord, having trust in him the most high, being assured of his care and  good pleasure, the act of doing righteous deeds and their effects on ones conscience and life.

He raised his hands up to pray to his lord to get rid of his problems, even if it meant taking away his wealth, because it's just an element and cannot bring back his lost treasure and happiness.

He cried for his wife whom he have left under the care of his lord,  he cried for his daughter who have every  right to hate him although, he knew that would hurt his feelings to the core.

He cried for himself not having the chance to speak for himself. He cried to his lord to forgive him, still in chaos of his thoughts because he's still in doubt of being between the wrong and right... He cried for everything and the All-hearing was listening to him as he poured out his heart to him.

He glorified the name of his lord time without numbers. After reciting some verses in the holy Qur'an, his lips spoke the words out (Qur'an 22;38)
{Truly, Allah defends those who believe}

He cried out to his lord until he was interrupted by someone he detest and couldn't find a reason to hate her, he thoughts swaying to a different direction, that was Allah's way of punishing him.

" Hayati, what are you doing by this time of the night, please get back to bed" he heard Raudah speak from the far end of the room, he could sight her figure at the far end of the bed, with the aid of the nightstand which helped in illuminating her pearl shaped figure, he wanted so much to act rude but, always thought against it not wanting to take the consequences of his actions.

He can't double the sins he have already done in the process of clearing one, she was still his wife and he knew sure enough to act cool with her.

He was the only one she had at the moment, although he was in doubt of being the reason behind it, but he knew surely well to take responsibilities of his actions, who knows if that was God's way of punishing him in this world, he would welcome it gladly with an open hands. If only it could ease the guilt he have been feeling for the past twenty two years.

He only gave her a short nod not sparing a glance towards her direction.

" I'm catching cold right here, please hurry up and come to bed" she added again sleepily which he decided to snob her as he completed his Du'a before going back to bed.

She snuggled into his arms the moment he bounced on to the bed as if waiting for him. He also snobbed this, not ready for any chaos other than the chaos that was already going on in his hazy mind.

Lost in his train of thought as he couldn't cease revising the activities that have been going on in his life. His mother was the cause of all this, not sure if he was in the position to question her or not.