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A week has passed since the night, I had the panic attack

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A week has passed since the night, I had the panic attack. I continued my evening walks with Bianca. She and Chiara attempted their best to make me smile. Augustin brought a cat for Bianca as a birthday gift that was her last surprise for the day. I played with the fluffball, her name is Bella. Bianca told me that Bella means beautiful in Italian.

Chiara even made me do ballet and that definitely helped. Since I was a kid ballet has helped me the most in getting along with the difficult time.

Cillian as usual made me laugh at his funny jokes. He tried to ask me, what happened in the past but, I couldn't open up. I want to tell this to someone, to let it out but every time I try nothing comes out of my mouth. I watched some movies with Samuel and among the three Mancini brothers he is the most relaxed. He reminds me of Kiril.

I can't believe three months have passed. They have made me feel at home still, it can't help me when I miss mama, papa, Lari or my brothers. I don't know what is happening in the war. As much as I want this war to end I don't want to leave this place.

Raffael has been an entirely distinct person during the past week. He checked on me several times of the day. Even at night, I remember punching him in the face when he suddenly loomed over me to check my temperature while I was sleeping.

I feel this attraction towards him boosting with each passing day. This must be Stockholm Syndrome. I can't like him. I have to vacate this place as soon as the war finishes. These emotions, I am feeling are temporary, I know. Just because he took care of me doesn't mean, I matter to him.

I recall Bianca's words when she told me, he wasn't the villain of my story she was true. He can't be a villain, I accused him for keeping me here but he made my stay as pleasant as it could be.

My thoughts were broken in by a knock on the door. A few seconds later, Raffael came inside. He was wearing his t-shirt and sweatpants that made him look even more sexier. Before he could imply that I was staring, I turned my gaze away.

"How are you feeling tesoro?" That is the question he asks me daily. It's been our routine, he comes into my room after dinner, asks the same question then we talk for a while and he leaves.

"I am good" My reply wasn't a lie. I am feeling better, although my nightmares haven't stopped. I wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat after the exact dream.

Raffael came towards me, tugging a chair to sit next to me. How comfortable we are in each other's presence amazes me. He is the same person, who some weeks earlier said that I am an obligation. His words still sting.

"What's happening with the war?" He turned his eyes on me as I asked this question. Looking into my eyes for a second, he turned his stare away towards the moon.

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