chapter 77.

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"Mom, I can't do it."

It's three o'clock in the morning, only midnight back in L.A where my Mom now is.

It's only my second night without her and I already miss her so much, especially considering she's barely left my side in three weeks. I miss my whole family truthfully.

Lizzie has been amazing so far though. She definitely has a motherly side to her that's started to show in the short time I've been staying with her.

I just don't want to burden her.

Hence me FaceTiming my Mom at this ungodly hour of the morning.

"Sweetheart, what's happened?" She speaks gently. It's evident I've woken her up. Her eyes are tired and the room was dark when she first answered the call.

"I can't do it," I hiccup, wiping my tears on the sleeve of my pyjama shirt. "Can't do what, honey?"
"Recovery. It's so hard. I can't do it."

"Oh, Lex. Of course you can do it. You've been doing so amazing," she assures me quietly, walking down the stairs and into the living room in our home. "I keep ruining it though." My sobs echo through the bathroom. Stupid shiny clean Airbnb bathrooms make everything echo.

"What happened, my sweet girl? Did you make yourself sick?" She questions. I shake my head.

"Have you hurt yourself?" She's more hesitant on this question and when I don't answer I see her expression soften as her eyes gloss over with a sheet of water. "Honey, how bad is it?"

"I'm sorry," I cry, putting my phone down on the cold bathroom tiles and dropping my head onto my knees that are pulled up to my chest. "Lexie, please don't apologise. You have nothing to be sorry for, at all. Is it still bleeding?"
"No," I mumble.

The bathroom door slowly opens as I look up and watch as Lizzie walks in. "Oh, baby." Her face saddens as she makes her way over to me, crouching down and taking my hands in her.

I'm so tired that I can't even see straight anymore, not even when she wipes my tears with the pad on her thumb.

I don't want to do it anymore.

"Come here," she says, lifting my up from under my arms and into hers before placing me on the empty counter space. "Sweetheart, what do you mean you don't want to do it anymore?" My Mom questions. I forgot she was on FaceTime for a minute.

"I didn't say that," I tell her, trying to take deep breaths and get my tears under control. Lizzie picks me phone of the ground and sets it up to the side of me so I can see Mom. "You did, honey. Are you having those kind of thoughts again?"

I shrug, incapable of answering verbally without completely sending myself into a breakdown.

Lizzie looks at me with complete worry written over her face, before searching through the cabinets and pulling out a first aid kit.

"Can I clean your arm up, pipsqueak?" She checks with me and after I nod, she starts addressing the fresh wounds.

I rest my head back against the mirror and close my eyes as the tears continue to fall down my face, wincing slightly at the pain in my arm.

Her and Mom talk for a few minutes whilst I zone out completely, almost falling asleep on the counter.

"You're all done, Lex," Lizzie's soft voice brings me back to reality. "Thank you," I mumble, dropping my head forward onto the shoulder. "Can you carry me to bed?"
"Of course," she says, wrapping her arms around me and lifting me up.

Eleven-Thirty A.M.

"She's waking up now, I'll get her to call you soon."

My eyes slowly adjust the the natural daylight seeping through the bedroom window as I'm met with Lizzie sitting beside me.

"Morning, bubba," she sends me a gentle smile as she moves the hair off of my face. "Morning," I say, turning onto my back to stretch out my body slightly.

"Aren't I supposed to be at work?" I remember, promptly sitting up and looking at her wide-eyed. "I called and told them you had a stomach virus."
"Oh, thank you," I crack a small smile before leaning into her side and resting my head on her shoulder.
She places a kiss on the top of my head as she holds me tightly.

"You want a cup of coffee?" She questions, to which I immediately nod. "Make it strong."

She helps me off the bed and guides me downstairs. I take a seat on the couch across from the kitchen as she gets started in the coffee.

"So, I talked to your Mom over the phone for a couple of hours this morning and she'd already spoken to your therapist, that her name?"
I nod.
"Right. Anyways, they both think that it's best for you to take some time off work and school for a while whilst you are going through this stage of recovery," she informs me with an apologetic tone.

"But I can't just stop working in the middle of filming?" I chuckle dryly.

"If it's for medical purposes, they legally have to delay the production, or at least your part of it."

I don't even try to argue the fact that they want me to take time off, partly because I'm too tired but mainly due to the fact that I really do need a break.

"Will I at least get to finish what I need to in Atlanta?" I question, laying back on the couch and looking over at her. "I'm sorry, pipsqueak," she breathes.

"Your Mom's trying to get a flight back here this afternoon and she'll stay the night and then you two will go home together tomorrow."

"Why can't I just finish filming here first? It's literally only a few more days," I whine.

"Because of the bottle of pills you had next to you last night on the bathroom floor."

I promiseee this will have a happy ending

Anyways, tiny peek at my new book :)

Anyways, tiny peek at my new book :)

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