chapter 39.

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"I'll see you tomorrow, Lex," Addy says goodbye to me, kissing my cheek. "See ya," I smile, walking over to the car.
As I open the passenger door, I put my bag at my feet and climb in. "Hi honey, how was your day?"

"Weird," I sigh, looking at her with a slight giggle. "Uh oh, what does that mean?" She quirks an eyebrow as she begins the drive to pick up Rose. "It's just teen drama stuff," I shrug it off, "you probably don't wanna know."

"Are you kidding? Of course I wanna know. I love drama," she admits.

"Okay then, but first, can my friend Addy come over after school tomorrow?" I question hopefully. "She the one that just kissed you?"
The smirk on her face is very obvious. "Shut up, it was on the cheek. But yes. That's her," I explain.

"Yes, she can come over," she chuckles.

"Thank you," I smile, "now the drama."

On the way to getting my sister, I fill her in on what happened at lunch and then talked about Addy a heck of a lot, obviously leaving out the part where we nearly kissed.

Damn Mrs Linch. She was my favourite teacher.

As we waited for Rose's teacher to bring her out to the car, we fell into a silence and for a moment I almost told her about how I feel towards Addy, but I chickened out.

This whole admitting that I'm bisexual thing is still new to me, and I'm scared that maybe she might see me differently afterwards and I don't think I could cope with losing the only motherly figure I've had in my life.

"Hello," Rose speaks happily, climbing into the backseat. "Hi baby, how was school?" Scarlett asks. "So, so boring," she sighs very dramatically. "Except we had a fire drill which was fun. And I kissed a boy on the lips too," she admits casually.

I watch Scarlett purse her lips together and take a breath. "Of course you did," she mumbles. "Who did you kiss and why?" She looks back at her through the review mirror with a slight giggle. "Xavier," she shrugs. "And why?"
"I don't know."

"Well, how about we stop kissing boys for no reason, hey?" She suggests gently to which my sister pouts. "Why? You kiss Colin all the time."
"Well, that's because Colin and I are married, sweetheart," she explains.

Rose completely ignores her and turns her attention to me instead. "Lexie, are you allowed to kiss people?"
"Well, yes, but I'm a lot older than you, Rosie," I tell her softly. "Ugh. Life isn't fair," she pouts, crossing her arms.

"So, who are you kissing?" Scarlett turns to me with a knowing look. "Nobody. I was just saying," I shrug. "Hmm okay," she smirks.


After being at home for just under and hour, I had to leave again to go to set. Scarlett isn't working at all this week which meant I was just dropped off.

Whilst getting hair and makeup done, I spent the half hour texting Addy. She rambles on about the most random things.
"What are you giggling at?" My movie mom asks from the chair beside me. "Just my friend," I tell her, as she has her Wanda wig put on. It's only us here tonight because and it's our last scene we have together which makes me sad, because it means it's the last time I'll see Lizzie in a while.

"Alright, all done," the makeup artist declares. I say thank you before getting up from my chair and making my way back to my trailer to get into costume.

Two hours later and after repeating the same line twenty different ways, our director was finally happy and we wrapped for the day.

Immediately, Lizzie came up to hug me. "I love you, pipsqueak and I can not wait to work with you again."
"I am not a pipsqueak," I scoff, "but I love you more. And me too."

"I love you most though," she smiles, ruffling my hair.


During the drive home, I got a text from Annie but I haven't read it yet. Primarily because I'm too tired to talk to anyone, but also because I choose to remain bitter about the situation until the morning.

Scarlett had bought me dinner so that when we got home I could just get ready for bed, instead of having to eat first. The days that I work after school, I usually finish between nine or ten which means I'm exhausted after being at school for eight o'clock the same morning.

After we arrived home, I immediately went upstairs to shower and wash all the glue out of my hair from the wig, and when I got out I realised that there were no towels. Scarlett must have done the washing.

"Scarlett! Can you please bring me a towel!?" I yell, peaking my head outside the bathroom door. "Sorry, Lex! I'll be there in a second!" She yells from downstairs.

As I wait for her I cross my arms over my chest in attempt to keep me warm. "Here you go," she knocks at the door. "Thank you," I say, sticking my arm out to grab the towel, which Scarlett hasn't yet let go off.

I stick my head out the door in confusion before seeing her eyes locked on my forearm. "Lexie—"
"It's fine. Don't worry about it," I speak plainly, trying to take my towel.

"I'm cold, can you let go please?" I snap. "Right. Sorry."

Once I've got the towel in my hands, I close the door and take a deep breath, trying to hold back my tears. I can't believe how stupid I am for forgetting about that.

"Sweetheart, have you been hurting yourself?"

"It's fine. I'm okay now," I say, drying myself off. "Lexie, they look new. How long has this been happening?" She questions gently. The shakiness in her voice is prevalent.

"It was one time. Before I came here. I'm not gonna do it again so can you stop talking about it? Please?" I beg, putting my pyjamas on.

She doesn't say anything after this, but when I walk out she's leaning up against the wall with tears in her eyes. Great. I've made her cry.

"I'm sorry," I mumble.

"No, honey, you don't have to be sorry. When did it happen?" She speaks in a gentle tone. I shake my head, not wanting to answer.

Taking a shaky breath, she cups my cheeks in her hands. "I want you to know, that if at any point you feel like doing it again, you can come get me. I promise. Anytime of day, yeah? I don't care if it's two in morning. You're such a beautiful young girl, Lex. Inside and out, and you deserve better than to hurt yourself, okay? I mean that."

Unable to speak, I just nod in response before bursting into tears.

"Oh sweetheart," she mumbles, pulling me into her arms. "It's okay. You're safe here and you're going to get through this."

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