chapter 75.

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The sound of the water running and tv, didn't cancel out the heartbreaking sound of my daughter making herself gag.

Without any forethought or hesitation, I jumped up from the couch and ran to the bathroom. I didn't bother to knock before letting myself in and grabbing the nearest towel.

Just as I go to open the shower curtain, she sick, so I pull back her hair with my free hand.
Once it's all gone, she tries to do it again.

"Sweetheart, stop it," I order gently, turning the water off before moving her hands away and wrapping the towel tightly around her body.

"Let me go," she cries defeatedly, trying to manoeuvre herself out of my arms.

"I can't, honey. I can't let you make yourself sick," I tell her. "Please," she pleads, almost collapsing into my arms as she continues to sob.

"Lexie, look at me," I speak softly, lifting up her chin. "I know, sweetheart, I know it's hard, but you don't need to do this. You don't need to feel guilty for nourishing your body. You're so, so beautiful, my sweet girl and so unconditionally loved. I know your thoughts aren't really your friend right now, but you are the most beautiful girl in the world, with the most beautiful soul. You don't need to make yourself sick."

I can see in her eyes that a part of her feels broken and defeated right now and it breaks my heart.
"I just want it to go away," she whispers, leaning her head on my shoulder and wiping her eyes on my jumper.

"I know, honey, and it will eventually. Unfortunately, I don't have magical powers otherwise I'd take all your pain away in an instant, but you can lean on me whilst your healing, and for the rest of your life because nothing is ever going to change how much I love you, Lexie," I assure her, placing one hand in the back of her head to keep her close.

"I was doing so well this week and I just ruined it," she mumbles, evidently frustrated with herself. "No, sweetheart, you didn't ruin it. Recovery isn't linear. There are going to be times where you relapse, but it doesn't mean you've failed. Like you told me earlier, going out tonight was too much too soon, but you know what, you tried anyway and I think you're pretty darn amazing for that."

She takes a visible deep breath before lifting her gaze to meet mine with a thankful smile on her face. "I love you," she mumbles. "I love you too, my sweet girl."

My lips press against her forehead as her body shivers. "I'm cold."
"Lets get you into some pyjamas then, hey?" I suggest to which she nods.

After changing and brushing her teeth, Lexie cuddled up beside me in the bed she's very begrudgingly sharing with me at the moment. She complains that I take up too much of the blanket so we came to the conclusion that we just needed two.

"I miss Addy," she pouts, laying her head on my chest. "It's been less than a day," I giggle, running my fingers through her hair. "Be quiet. I still have to wait a whole twenty days until I see her again. That's the longest we've ever been apart. It sucks."
I smile slightly, "I know."

There's a moment of silence before she pipes up again. "I'm gonna sleep now. Goodnight mama," she says, making herself comfortable beside me as she turns on to her side. "Goodnight, sweetheart. I hope you sleep well," I reply, pressing my lips against her cheek before getting comfortable too.

Eleven Days Later

I'm so behind in school work, it's not even funny.

Obviously due to the fact that I'm currently in a different state, all my work has been put online for me, but I have three overdue assessments that I have not even started.

Thankfully I have the day off filming today, so that means I can begin to catch up and with the help of my Mom, hopefully get a lot done.

I had my third online session with Olivia yesterday and in all honesty, my mental health has been very slowly improving.
I'm managing to keep two meals a day down and much to my liking, she's not increasing my meal plan until I'm back in L.A and she can do a physical assessment.

"I swear, if I fail this maths test I'm gonna jump off a bridge," I mumble to myself as I hopelessly scroll through my maths content.
Forgetting my Mom is sitting right beside me, I feel her gaze focus on me before I turn to look at her.

"What? I was kidding," I chuckle.

"What no, I swear I was joking, don't cry," I add frantically after noticing the tears in her eyes. My arms wrap around her shoulders as she holds me close. "I'm sorry, I just can not bare the thought of losing you, Lex," she whispers.

"Well good thing you don't have to," I assure her, "and you don't have to be sorry either. You're allowed to cry too."

She pulls away and wipes her eyes before kissing my forehead. "I love you, my sweet girl."
"I love you more."
"Nope. I win."
"No, I do."
"No, me."

I go to continue on, but am interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Didn't the cleaning lady already come?"

"Go answer the door," she smiles knowingly. I frown, but get up anyway and make my way across the hotel room.

I open the door with caution before letting it go and swinging it wide open the moment I see my girlfriend standing on the other side.

"What are you doing here!?" I squeal, immediately engulfing her in a hug.

"Three weeks is too long to go without seeing you," she giggles, wrapping her arms around my waist and lifting me off the ground slightly.

After putting me back down, I peck her lips before turning my attention back to Mom. "Did you organise this?"
"It was her idea," she smiles as I let Addy in.


"Girls, I'm just ducking out to get some groceries, I'll be back in an hour," Mom states, coming into the bedroom where Addy and I have been talking non-stop for the last half hour.

"Okay, love you," I say. "I love you too. Call me if you need anything."

Another fifteen minutes go by and we'd turned on an episode of Friends but we both very quickly got distracted when her lips met mine and she'd straddled my waist.

"Addy-" I push her back slightly to catch my breath. "I'm ready. Really."

"Are you sure, Lex?" She questions, cupping my checks in the palm on her hands as her eyes search mine.

"I'm sure. My cuts haven't fully healed yet though if that's okay?"

"Lex, honey, that doesn't change anything. I think that you're the most beautiful person in the world and nothings going to change that. As long as you're comfortable with it, you can trust me."

"I trust you."

5 chapters left, I'm gonna cry

anyways, there might be a few time skips because i want to hurry things along so I can get what I wanna get done, done

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