My Future Husband

Chapter 43

“What are you doing?” He doesn’t answer me, opening my apartment and refusing to put me down no matter what I do, until he throws us down on the couch, spreading my legs open and sitting me straddling his lap. “Kage?”

“You say my name like that again, Shorty, and I’m going to ruin you.” Fuckety fucking fuck.

I’ve felt passion before, felt what it is to have someone want me, but it was never like this. I thought he just liked the dress, but it’s more, it’s so much more.

He’s fighting to control it; chewing his lip, clenching his fists. There’s an animal inside him that’s smashing against it’s cage trying to break it’s way free.

He feels every inch of me, hands all over my body, words screaming in his head that want to be said, his touch making me bite my tongue to stop from moaning out loud.

The pot isn’t bubbling over, it’s fucking emptying.

“We were sitting like this,” he growls, firmly gripping my ass, “right like this, the last time we we're truly just friends... Just like we've been trying to be now... but it hasn't fucking worked. I knew I couldn’t just be your friend the moment you kissed me.” He destroyed any chance of me seeing him as just my bestie the second I felt his lips too.

He’s right, we were sitting just like this, the moment we ruined the friendship.

“Kage, what do you want from me?” Because my head is fucked, so fucked! One second we’re all laughs and banter, the next you’re looking at me like you want to rip my clothes from my body and eat me alive... and I want you to.

Fuck do I want you to.

I’ve been trying to be a good person, a good mum, not make the same selfish choices I have before. Every time I’m away from you it's so clear that we’re better off staying like this than risking it all... but then you touch me, and I never want you to stop.

“When I kissed you that day, it changed my whole life. You went from being the girl I wanted to share every joke with, laugh with until we fell over, to the girl that I wanted to claw my way inside, to hold and cherish and fucking die for if I needed to.”

“You nearly did.”

“And it would’ve been worth it.” He weaves his fingers into the back of my hair, pressing my head to his, before grabbing my ass and dragging me in closer to him. “I’d never felt anything that came close to what you made me feel, what you still make me feel, Shorty! This, us, I know I fucked it up when I got here, but I knew it then and I still know it now: This is worth it. Whatever you want it to be, it'll be worth it. All I need from you... is to tell me... what you want.”

The moonlight is all that filters into the apartment, but that alone is enough to illuminate every curve of his handsome face.

I don’t know what I want, that's the problem when you're around, I lose sense of everything other than you. You’re all I think about, you’re all I see when I imagine every day beyond this one, but I’m... afraid. I’m so fucking afraid.

“Who am I?”

“May, what are you-”

“Who am I, to you? Am I still her? Belle? Or am I May? Am I still the girl sitting on this couch, kissing you for the first time? Or just the one that had your baby? I don’t know who I am to you. One day we’re agreeing we’re better off like this, the next we’re in your childhood bed, so close yet so fucking far from-”

“I’m not confused anymore.” He fists my hair, tilting my head back so our lips are stained with each others’ breath, his sparkling sapphires hitting my deep rooted hazel. “It was you, every bit of it was you. It was you throwing punches in an alleyway, you making me laugh until I cried in Verona, you I made love to on that roof... and it’s still you. Right here, right now, it's still you.”