My Future Husband

Chapter 21

MAY’S P.O.V

PRESENT DAY

“Fuck...” I didn’t realise I was crying so much until Kage drags me into his arms, sitting down in one of the crappy plastic chairs and holding my entire body on his lap. “You’re fucking incredible, I can’t believe you went through all that.”

That day, it was the best and worst of my life. Having Teal made every second worth it, and every day we had to spend in the hospital together after, waiting for him to grow and get strong enough to come home. However, the fear I felt, it’ll never leave me.

Even now, after everything, there's still a part of me that's waiting for someone to come along and take him away.

“He’s okay now, they said he might be a little behind on his development until he’s three, completely normal with prem-babies, but he’s still everything I could ever want.”

“He’s amazing, May.” He kisses my head. “I can’t imagine anyone meeting him and not falling instantly in love.” He's got that right. “He’ll appreciate it, I’ll make sure of it, he’ll know everything you went through to bring him into this world.” Damn right he will. “I hope the next time you do it, it’s easier.” He chuckles, but I shake my head.

“I’m not doing it again.” He raises his eyebrows at me, but I know in my heart that I can’t. “I came so close to losing him, that kind of fear never leaves you. I don’t want to do it again, and there’s no point anyway, it’s not like I’m going to get a better one. My son is perfect.” Kage laughs, holding my head under his chin and kissing the top.

“Our son.” I smile, resting against his beating heart.

“Yeah, our son.” When he first got here, it was really hard to share Teal, but not anymore. Letting him be a part of his life isn’t losing my son, it's my beautiful boy getting someone else to love him too. There isn’t a limit on love. “Does that mean you're finally going to start calling yourself dad?” I don’t mean to put pressure on him, but I can see that he wants to, he's just scared.

“I don’t feel like I’ve earned it. Listening to what you went through just then, now I feel like I’ve earned it even less.”

“That's not how it works.” I sit up, looking into the eyes that have stared back at me from our son since the day he was born. “I know you, I know if you’d had the choice, you would’ve been there. You would’ve held my hand, you would’ve got me through that labour, you'd have held our little boy in your arms and never put him down. I know it, because it’s exactly what you’ve done since you found out about him. You could’ve run, no-one would’ve blamed you, the last thing you were expecting when you found me was to find him too, but you didn't. You’re willing to move, turn your whole life around, so you can be with him. If that’s not a dad, I don’t know what is.”

I hate that he has to feel this way. I understand it, but I don’t want it. He’s right, he was never my son, he was always ours.

“I have so much making up to do.” No, you don’t.

“Do you love him?”

“More than I ever thought I could love anyone.”

“Would you die for him?”

“In a heartbeat.”

“And if anyone ever tried to hurt him-”

“They won’t. I won’t ever let that happen.” I smirk, poking that little dimple in his cheek.

“See, Dad.” He's already a dad, and a fucking good one.

He breathes deeply, pulling me back down so I’m resting against his chest.