Club - a Breddy Fanfic.

3) Going home (Eddy)

Eddy is glad when he can get off at the next bus stop. He really didn't feel like walking and the bus station is close to the Club, so he has taken the bus. He had regretted it immediately when he got in. Yes, inside it's less cold than outside, but he really doesn't like the brightness there. The difference in light between inside and outside makes that his view to the outside is limited. He doesn't like that. He feels he's to much exposed and his eyes don't work like they should. Especially not being in control makes it scary. So even though he's only had 3 stops, he's happy to wave the bus driver goodnight and heads out into the cold again.

He likes the city shrouded in darkness, illuminated only by some orange light from the street lamps. It's quiet. Peaceful. It's cozy in a weird way. He can think more clearly and at this moment he has a lot to think about during the short walk to his apartment.

Why, oh why can't I be like everybody else? he ponders, not for the first time in his existence.

Of course he has known for a long time now that he's gay. Women are okay, but not for a relationship. It's not that he doesn't appreciate a beautiful female body, but he just can't picture himself with one in bed. Or living together for eternity for that matter.
Back home he has two strong women already: his mother and sister. Both smaller than him, but making up for it with their personalities. And while he loves them dearly, there is more than enough feminine energy with them in his life, thank you very much.
Of course he has female friends. But not one he has ever even slightly considered as a possible girlfriend. He just likes boys. Men. No question about it.
It became very evidently in his teens when he started watching porn. In secret of course. His mother would have hanged him for it, if she had found out. It made it so very clear that the heterosexual setting wasn't working for him. Two men on the other hand...

Being gay is not convenient though.
It would be hard enough already to get a relationship with a girl since he's this geeky, introvert and shy person, let alone to get into a relationship with a man!

When he got his own place when he started Uni, he tried some dating apps.
It resulted in a handful short lived relationships, but none of them were to be called nice.
One cheated on him after just a week of being together. Pathetically he even spent half a year trying to make it work, because outside of the two-timing he was a nice guy. But he threw in the towel when he heard of yet another adventure, just as he had given him his vow the week before that Eddy would be the only one forever and ever. Big fat liar.
One was very possessive, which became quite toxic within weeks. Luckily his friends helped him to get out of that one fast.
One was way too dominant, so he had ended that within a month. It's not that he always has to be the one in control, but this was all too much.
One was actually nice, but hated classical music, which is his ultimate joy in life. So regrettably that couldn't last either, because in no universe he would give up his music. Music will always be his first love.
Besides some flings there hadn't been anyone else after that.
That's when he just gave up at some point. Dating and relationships are just all too difficult, too taxing really.
But what is he?! An old spinster? He's barely in his mid twenties for crying out loud!

So his dear friends have been trying to hook him up with someone for ages now.
They are sweet to care, but it's also bothersome.
And now they have been going on and on about that club he just left for months now. Because it should be the hot-spot to attend nowadays. Why someone would voluntarily go to a place with that many people, not be able to talk to each other normally beyond shouting sentences and to top it all off end up with lifelong hearing loss, is a question he really can't answer.

Eddy shakes his head.
People are weird.

But.... There had been this Brett...
He can still see his image before him, burned on his retinas.
Now that's what he considers a handsome man.
Even that he might be a bit shorter than himself, he is tall enough.
Nice curves as well: not too masculine, not too twinkish. Glasses have been a turn-on since a long time as well. And he's Asian no less.
It's a shame he isn't the only one who likes him. That girl at the Club had obviously been all over him.
But why is he daydreaming about him anyway?! He is clearly straight.
To emphasize this fact, he left with that girl to do whatever sinful things they will be doing right now.
So why, oh why is he even thinking about him anyway.

Eddy sighs again. Stupid brain.

He arrives at the front door of his building, the hallway way too brightly lit as always. It's hurting his eyes. What's wrong with people having to deny the night with all their might? He feels like a vampire, facing daylight as he approaches the entrance. He squeezes his eyes to slits, opens the door with his card-key and walks to the elevator. No way he will climb the stairs tonight.

He rides the elevator to the 3th floor and walks to his apartment located at the end of the gallery.

After closing his apartment's door, he enters his small hallway and kicks off his shoes, not bothering where they land, and walks into the living room. It's a functional place. It's not big though. He has a living room with a kitchen, a small bathroom and a bedroom. More than enough for a guy alone, right?
In the living room he has a sofa, a table in front of it to put his feet on, a television with his game consoles underneath, a bookcase with all his orchestra scores, his games, movies and some books, and a practice space with his music stand, his desk and his violin-case containing his previous violin.
The place is also clean and has a comfortable, light, feeling. There is no excessive decorating anywhere. It's really suited for someone who sees his priorities elsewhere than interior design.
He throws his coat on the sofa, walks to his bedroom, undresses and lays down.
The evening plays before his eyes like a movie.

What a hellish place.
I'm not going back there again, am I?
But what about Brett... will he be there next time?

He scolds himself and puts his head under his pillow cursing his stupidity.