My Future Husband

Chapter 6

“May.”

Kage is alive.

“Auntie May.”

Kage is dead.

“May, breathe.”

Is Teal real?

“Auntie May, please breathe.”

He’s so perfect, he’s so perfect, he can’t be real.

My brain goes into overload, too much hitting me at once, until I can feel myself shutting down.

He didn’t even know my name... He doesn't know my name.

“What the fuck happened?” I didn’t hear Milo and Josh come in, Milo dropping to his knees beside me and Heather quickly passing Teal to Josh to calm him down.

“I’ll explain but I need to get her upstairs first so she can breathe again. Josh, Brie and Al are shopping next door, tell them to come cover the counter and then just take Teal for a walk or something, get him some fresh air.” Milo helps Steve get me back onto my feet, but both of them can see I’m not steady enough, Steve pulling me up into his arms and winding me around his body before carrying me upstairs.

“Teal... is he real...”

“May...” Steve pauses by my door, forcing me to look at him. “He’s real, he’s real and he’s perfect, because of you. Don’t fall down that hole, I know this is a shock but remember who the fuck you are. Kage being alive doesn’t change that.”

He’s real.

“Kage is a-alive.”

I don’t understand. They shot him in the head, they shot him in the fucking head!

Steve already knows what to do, not letting me go for a second, keeping me in his lap and holding me tight when the shakes of panic start.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He doesn’t fight me even when I start to punch his chest, clawing at the braids on the side of my head just trying to let this all out.

Brie put them in for me when I was pregnant, she does them every fucking week, because I just needed something of him! I needed something of him because he was dead!

I hit myself, I hit Steve, I hit the couch. I scream and cry and let it all out until I’ve got nothing left.

My head pounds, my chest thumping, until the same question I can’t answer is all that breaks through.

“How?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

There’s only one thing I can do.

“I have to find him.” It's not about me, I want to see him again but that’s not even the important part.

Teal. He doesn’t know he exists.

“Okay, we’ll call Hannah, get her to track him down.” Steve soothes his fingers through my curls, letting me forget I’m an adult for moment and holding me the same way he did when I was a kid.

What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if he only wants to find me so he can tell me to go fuck myself, that I almost cost him his life and then fucking disappeared.

What if he rejects Teal? What if he doesn’t want a baby with a girl he didn’t even know the name of?

I don’t know if he wanted kids. We never got that far, we hardly knew anything about each other, I don’t even know his last name.

No, I don’t need to know any of that shit. I know him, I know what type of person he is. His feelings for me may have changed, it’s been two years and I don’t know the hell he’s been through, but I still know him.

He has the right to be a dad.

“Holy shit, it's true?” Brie comes charging into the apartment, dropping at my side and pulling my head to her shoulder. “What the fuck? Heather tried to explain, but obviously she doesn’t know anything. I thought she was fucking confused... He's alive? Hope saw him?”

“In London. We need to call Hannah.” Brie nods at Steve but neither of them try to let me go. “She wants to find him, but I think she needs some time to get her head around it first.”

“Of course she needs some fucking time, it’s not like ex-boyfriends make a habit of coming back from the fucking dead! Although... I guess, in her case...” I swear, only my sister could make me laugh at a time like this.

“Not helping, Brie.” I’d like to think I’m taking it a bit better this time.

“Sorry, Pumpkin.” She chuckles, kissing the side of my head. “Maybe we should just shut up for the day? The boys have taken Teal to the park, how about you pack a bag and come crash at mine tonight?”

I nod, I don’t want to be on my own.

Washing my face, I try to make myself look as human as possible, both of them attempting to keep their voices down in the living room, but I can still hear them.

“I know destiny works in mysterious ways, but this is some fucking bullshit. I mean, none of us even know what he looks like, if it’d been anyone other than Hope we would’ve walked straight past him. That’s fate, him coming back now, it's got to be.”

Brie has always been kind of obsessed with destiny, with thinking there’s a reason for everything.

My life is finally together, I’m happy. I’ve always needed to prove to myself that I can stand alone, that I’m worth something because of what I can achieve, I’ve finally done that. I’m finally the person I’ve always wanted to be.

So why now? Why throw all of this at me now?

Leah pulls me into a hug as soon as I get downstairs, she doesn’t even know what’s going on, she just has a sixth sense for when someone needs a hug.

“You okay, baby girl?” I’m twenty-one years old, I’m a mom, but to her I’m always going to be baby girl.

“Yeah, help me lock up?” I flip the sign on the door, Heather turning off all the food and Leah taking off with the scheduled lunchtime deliveries.

I need a bath, and wine. It might be one of those nights for pumping and dumping, this is not the time to stay sober.

The bell goes on the door just as I finish up, because apparently people are fucking blind and can't read a closed sign!

“Sorry, shutting up early today. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

Wait, what’s this... butterflies...

No.

I shoot up from behind the counter, feelings exploding in my chest so harshly when my hazel meets his crisp ocean blue that everything else in the world stops.

“Hey Shorty, I’ve been looking for you.”

Kage.