Something Golden

91.

St Mungos

It felt like I was moving in slow motion when we arrived. It felt like everyone was moving in slow motion. They weren't tending to her fast enough, they didn't seem concerned enough about her injury, no one seemed to be doing enough and I wanted to rip their throats out, I even verbalized that which earned me a threat from security which only made me laugh. It took both Potter and Theo holding me back to stop me from showing the fuckwit how moronic he was for doing so.

They rushed her into a back room and they wouldn't let me be with her. They made me wait outside with all of the other sobbing messes who anxiously waited for their loved ones. It felt like years had passed before they finally came out and got us. She's stable is what they said but unconscious and they weren't sure how long it would be until she wakes.

She's fine.

She's alive.

That's what matters.

I'm at her bedside now and I haven't let go of her hand since we were brought back here. Not when Potter or Freckles were crying and hugging her and especially not when those bitchy healers ran some more diagnostics. They can sneer at me all they want but I'm not moving, I'm not leaving her. They can work around me. Fuck them.

The sound of her heartbeat is the only thing keeping me sane right now. It's the only thing I have telling me that she's still alive because she sure as hell doesn't look like it. She's pale and her hands are freezing. I've never wanted to hear the sound of her voice more than I do right now.

"You could talk to her, you know." Freckles says as she enters the room and hands me a cup of coffee. "There's studies that show talking to someone when they're in a coma helps them wake up. Of course, it was a muggle study but I still think it holds credibility."

"Okay." I say, setting the cup down on the table beside me.

"Are you going to try it?"

"Not while you're in here." I scoff. "Merlin knows you'd write down whatever I say and throw it in my face one day."

"Yeah, probably." She shrugs. I'm glad she's treating me the same right now. Potter and Theo have been talking to me like a child, as if even the slightest shift in their tone might cause me to break. They're wrong. I'm way past that. All I am right now is numb.

"Let me know if you need anything, we'll be right outside." Freckles tells me before exiting the room. Once the door clicks shut I scoot closer to Granger.

"If you can hear me right now that's great but don't ever tell freckles that you did, I don't want her to get a big head about it." I say as I brush my fingers through her hair. "You have a lot of people that care about you Granger. They would be absolutely lost without you, I'd be absolutely lost without you. So you need to wake up soon, okay? Can you do that?"

I know she's unconscious right now but still, I wait a moment before speaking again to give her time to respond.

"I've been thinking about our kids." I continue. "If we have a daughter I think I'd like to have her middle name be Ella. My grandmother's full name is Druella but those close called her Ella. My mother told me if she had a daughter she would've named her that. Of course if you have any objections then we don't need to, you would be the one giving birth to her and all but I just thought I'd put that out there."

I feel ridiculous right now. Ridiculous but also comforted by the possibility of her hearing me and that inside her head she's replying to me.

"I'd like to take our kids to that Christmas market you took me to during fifth year. We can all wear hideous jumpers and you can teach them how to ice skate. We can show them the giant Christmas tree and everything. That's one of my favorite memories of us, I wish you could remember it. You lit up when we were there."