Something Golden

51.

June 29 1997

"How will I find you afterwards?" Granger asks.

"You won't." Her head shoots up, ready to argue but I speak before she can. "I mean it Granger. You go with Potter and Weasley and stay put. I'll come find you when I can."

"When will that be?"

"I don't know."

She's been a mess all day and rightfully so, she just lost her parents and now she feels like she's losing me as well. None of this is ideal, in a perfect world I'd take her and run. Start a new life somewhere else – amongst the muggles even, if that's what it took.

This isn't a perfect world though. It's dark, twisted and most of all, utterly unfair.

June 30 1997

It took nearly an hour for me to pry Granger's arms off of me. I kept having to remind her that this isn't the last time she's going to see me, that it just might be a little until I'm able to go to her. The plan is simple - get the death eaters in, execute Dumbledore and reconvene at the manor. As for Granger, she is to round Weasley and Potter and get the fuck out of here. Voldemort won't be on the premises but if someone like my aunt Bella saw any of them she wouldn't hesitate to call for him.

Blaise and Pansy left this morning, Theo is to stay behind with me. We've just entered the room of requirement, he's looking around as we walk through, touching everything within an arms reach. "I just can't believe I've never been in here before." He says. "This would have been a great hookup spot."

"Focus Theo."

He practically runs right into me as I stop in front of the cabinet. I send him a quick glare over my shoulder before pulling the blanket off.

"Once I open the passageway I have to leave. You'll stay behind until they all get through, understood?"

He nods. I take out my wand, close my eyes and focus as I mutter the enchantment. The handle slowly turns, the door creaking open as thick black smoke begins to pool out. I say nothing to Theo as I move past him, a strong gust of wind hitting my back as I walk away.

As I'm climbing my way up the astronomy tower, my fingers wrapped tightly around my wand, I take this time to lock down my occlumency even more. If there's anything I know for sure about Dumbledore it's that he will try to get in my head, to convince me that I don't have to do this, that I'm a good man - a lie that would work on most but I'm not one of them.

lock the emotions away, any guilt or shame placed securely in a box.

place box in hole, lay cement on top.

lay brick after brick, build wall after wall.

"Good evening Draco." His tone casual, like greeting an old friend. "What brings you here on this fine evening?"

"You'll have to forgive me headmaster, I'm afraid I'm not one for small talk." My wand at the ready in my right hand while my left hovers over my pocket where my knife is stowed.

"Draco, you are no assassin."

"There's enough blood on my hands to argue that one, sir. If you don't mind, spare me the speech, it won't make a difference and is an awful waste of my time and yours."

"Very well." He sighs, his eyes shifting just past my right shoulder. He's looking at something - no, someone. My left hand retrieves the knife as I turn on my heels, my forearm pushing against the body and slamming it back into the wall, my blade against his neck.