𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝𝐲 ⟿ s. harrington

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧

THEY SAID I DID SOMETHING BAD

☀︎

THE WORLD WAS QUIET FOR TWO DAYS. Alex lay on her bed, an arm hung off the side with a single finger brushing against her bedroom floor. Her eyes stayed watching the wall opposite, her body and mind far too numb to move. Everything felt frozen in time once more in her life and this time, no matter how hard she fought to not push others away, she couldn't find the drive to do much but lay there.

There was a small knock on her bedroom door but she couldn't bring herself to even grumble a welcome in. People tended to allow themselves in knowing right where she would be. Just as she expected, the door slowly creaked open before the confidence brought them to slip in. "Hey," Steve whispered. His voice was gentle and careful.

She couldn't answer, couldn't bring herself to pick herself up and look at him. She wanted him to yell at her and become frustrated— that's all she felt she deserved. Yet he was gentle with every action, every word. Crouching down, he became eye level with her yet hers never landed on his. Alex only heard the crinkle of the Pop Tart wrapper before he raised it and gently hit it against her forehead. It was a relief to see when he pulled away that her eyes met his. "Come on," he grinned. Picking up her arm, he laced his fingers with hers as he tugged her arm towards himself. "You said you wanted to go and you know you can't be here all day. Robins in the car waiting and after... if you're feeling up to it..." Reaching down, he dropped the PopTart and grabbed hold of something new. Holding a movie between them, his eyes peeked over. "Dr. Zhivago. I know it's double VHS but I think you'll love it. Action, romance, suspense, right? You're kinda thing."

Alex didn't say a word as she looked at the movie between them. Silence hung in the air until Steve lowered it with a sigh and a heavy heart. Tossing it onto her nightstand, he put his hand through his hair. "Listen, I know it's tough, but you gotta try."

"My head hurts," Alex whispered. Steve hid the relief well that she said something. To him, it was just another step in the right direction. He nodded his head in understanding, allowing for her to continue as he hoped she would. "I don't feel good." Every part of her body ached from both exhaustion and emotional numbness.

Steve propped his chin on the end of her bed, "Have you slept yet?"

Instantly tears brimmed Alex's eyes and regret hit his chest heavily for trigging such a quick response from her. "I can't," she whispered. Her grip tightened on his hand as she met his eyes. "Every time I sleep... I have the same dream." She swallowed hard, pushing back the sobs as she sniffled through her tears. "There's so much blood and... and... I'm with myself and... I'm so scary... I try to hurt myself. It...it feels so real."

He kept his eyes on her but was at a loss for words. There was plenty to ask and ways to comfort but none seemed reasonable in the moment. Instead, he held her hand tighter as she took a long shaky breath. Tears continued to slip across her face, staining the sheets under her. "I think there's something wrong with me." Her words shook and barely made it above a whisper. Haunting was all Steve could think to describe it.