That's Not Love... Part 1

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Disclaimer: Themes of abuse/domestic violence.
Note: I used they/them pronouns as to allow you to decide yourself if your partner is a man or woman based on your preferences.. I also used a gender neutral name for them.
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Nat's POV
I'm currently bored out of my mind, sitting in a mission debrief with Steve and Fury. All I want it to get a nice warm shower to wash this grime off of me. Well that and to see my bestfriend, Y/N. I haven't seen her in three months, even though the mission was only two weeks long. Her stupid partner Sam always gets in the way. They've been together for only six months and Sam's moved in with her and taken up all her time. She finally agreed to see me for lunch today and I'm excited!!
She promised, and she never breaks her promises! I miss her terribly, and if I'm being honest I'm worried about her. She's slowly pulling away, but I can tell it's not her choice, it's like she herself is just fading away.
Y/N's POV
I'm currently getting ready for my lunch with Nat. Sam's out for the weekend so I'm able to get away with this little get together. Sam's jealous of Nat and I's relationship, I told them not to worry about it but that usually ends in fighting. In many cases I might receive a slap or a shove for 'invalidating' their feelings. Sam claims Nat and I are clearly in love and it's only a matter of time before I leave them for her. They got it all wrong though, Nat isn't in love with me, she's got eyes for Agent Hill, the tension there is palpable. I was at one point head over heels for Natty, but at some point I had to move on. She and I were just destined to be best friends and I can live with that. Sam seemingly can't though, so I've pulled back, giving excuses every time Nat's tried to get together. She seemed desperate to see me, and I would be lying if I said I didn't miss her like crazy. So, when Sam told me they were leaving town for the weekends I decided to secure a friendly luncheon.
*Sam- Hey, I'm going to be extending my stay to Monday vs Sunday. It's a work holiday so I'll see you then*
We always tell each other our plans, well I'm "required" to, Sam does it when they feel like it.
*Sounds good my love! I'm having lunch with a friend today, byt other than that my plans include movie nights with y/p/n and eating junk food. ☺️. See you Monday ❤️*
I put my phone down, and got into the shower... I guess I took a little longer than I intended so I got dressed and rushed out the door when I saw the time on my clock.
Nat's POV
It's 12:30PM and Y/N's not here yet, but it's okay, she's known for being fashionably late. I got us a table, then ordered our favorite appetizers and drinks. To be honest, I could've done the entrees too, seeing as how Y/N always got y/f/f. She's easily predictable, I know her like the back of my hand.
I look up from the table to see Y/N walk in, she looks as beautiful as ever, but she also looks like she's tired. She normally has a glow to her, and a usual bounce in her step, but it's gone.
"Y/n/n! Over here!" I excitedly shout
There's that smile I love so much. Even without the glow I can see she the genuineness in the smile. She missed me too...
"Natty!" Y/N greets excitedly with her arms open, prompting me to jump up and literally into them. She giggles slightly then wraps her arms around me in a tight bear hug. I return the intensity of the hug and hold her close for a few moments.
"I missed you too y/n/n. So very much."
I reluctantly let go as I see the waiter quickly approaching us. She whined and I internally chuckled.
Y/N's POV
I didn't expect to react like that when I saw Nat, but I just desperately needed this comfort from her—my bestfriend.
The waiter greeted me and I realized Nat had ordered me y/f/d and she us y/f/apps. It's nice to be out with someone who knows me, like truly. Sam orders for me too, but they order me what they deem as suitable for a "girl like me." Usually a water and salad, I resolve to just staying in most days. Our date nights have dwindled, being out with Nat makes me realize how lonely I actually am. Sam goes out though, they see the outside world far more than they do me at this point.
"So, y/n/n... Where have you been?" Nat asks pulling me from my spiral
"Home, and work." I dryly reply
"So... Then why haven't I seen you in over three months?" She whines in question
"I've just been tired. Sorry" I reply, not lying, I'm genuinely exhausted by my life currently.
"Please, never again! I don't know how I've survived for so long without you."
"Yeah, I don't know how I did either." I sigh in response
Nat's POV
She seems so low, I would kill to know what's troubling her...
"Kotenok, what's wrong?"
"Tired..." She lazily lies
"No, something's got you down... Please talk to me!" I plead
"Nat, please..." she all but begs me to stop pushing
"I just want you to be happy y/n/n. If something's breaking you I want to know. I vowed to protect you."
"Who said I'm broken." She chokes out
"Love, I can read your eyes, your body language.. Something's happened and I need to know how I can help." I plead
"Help me by enjoying a meal with me. Help me by not treating me like I'm a fragile baby.. Please."
"Okay." I whisper and instinctually reach for her hand. She flinches, but then seems to correct herself and grabs my hand withs light squeeze.
"So, how's work?" I immediately change the subject
After the awkwardness, we fall into a naturally flowing conversation. She started to perk up as I told her stories about the idiots back at the compound.
"They miss you, you know. Wanda's been begging for a girls night." I tease
"A girls night sounds nice." She says with a sad smile, as if it's unattainable.
"So, next weekend then?"
"Um. I'm not sure just yet, I'll have to ask Sam."
I roll my eyes in response, I can't stand Sam.
Y/N's POV
I know Nat hates them, and that she cares, but I can't tell her about what's happening. Sam's the first person willing to love me, and I can't lose them... I'll just continue to put up with the shouting, the slaps and shoves, the occasional kicks... I'll be okay...
"Y/n/n." Nat whispers as I realize she's now seated next to me, cupping my face.
I didn't realize I'd started crying... Why am I crying?
"Shh. Come here..." Nat says as she pulls me into her embrace.
Now I'm crying harder and finding myself cuddling into her further. After about five minutes I pull away, feeling embarrassed.
"Don't even think about apologizing!" Nat cuts me off before I attempt to apologize
"I love holding you, it's been so long since our last cuddle... Which brings me back to the girls night. Do you really have to ask for permission to go? Is this why I never see you anymore?
Y/N, what's going on? Is Sam doing something? Is that why you're crying? God, please talk to me! I feel useless!"
"Nat, calm down! We just haven't seen each other lately so if they're free next weekend I have to give my time to them." I lie while simultaneously cuddling into her for comfort, knowing this is a rarity for me nowadays.
Nat's POV
I know she's lying, but the last thing I want to do is push her away. I'll get to the bottom of it on my own, I am a spy after all.
"Chin up detka, I ordered us dessert to share"
As I pull back I can feel her reluctance to let me go.
"Natty, thank you."
"Of course detka. Nothing a little sugar can't fix."
We were enjoying our dessert, back to chatting like normal. I was joking around just so I could hear her laugh. I really missed her laugh...
Her phone kept vibrating, and out of nowhere her face just dropped as she looked at it. She looked panicked but was trying to hide it.
"This was lovely. Thanks for meeting me Natty. I need to go, so can we get the check?" She 'happily' interjects
"Why the rush?" I pry
"I need to get home, it's getting late and y/p/n is waiting for dinner." She lies once again
Did she just forget I'm a spy?
I let it go again, already planning out what to do to figure out what's happening. Y/N's never felt the need to lie to me, and she has never been this low before. I'm actually terrified, but for now I'll pretend I'm not.
"Detka, I got the check. You're free to go. Give
y/p/n a kiss for me, I miss the little one."
"No, Nat! I can pay for at least my half." She whines
"Absolutely not. Repay me by getting back to me with a day we can do girls night. One lunch date with you isn't enough. Everyone back at the compound misses you!"
She smiled at me with sad eyes, and gave me a nod. I got up to let her out, and as she stood I pulled her into me for a tight hug. I pulled away and kissed her forehead.
"Don't be a stranger y/n/n... Text me when you get home!" She nods and with that she's gone in a blink of an eye.
Y/N's POV
SHIT! I guess Sam texted me while I was showering asking me "who" my "friend" was. in my rush out the door I never saw. My lack of responding led Sam to "know" it was Nat. Now they're suddenly back at my home to talk to me.
1,714 words. Part 2 will be posted

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