Neither you nor me

Part 84

I woke up from sleep and gave a blank stare. Why did I woke up? And I realized Finnie is crying. I abruptly sat and experienced a small twist in my stomach.

Ouch! I need to be careful.

I took her into my soft hands and her soft mouth claimed my nipples. She stopped crying within a second. I admired her. How beautifuly she gave me the courage to live and fight back!

It's 3 AM in the morning. The worst part of motherhood is, you don't wanna follow the duty as a mother. You want to live without any stitches or medication. You don't wanna interrupt your sleep and get up to feed to someone. You don't wanna change your diet or food habit. You don't wanna feel that your body has changed.

I can't possibly imagine what my mother went through! Giving birth to 3 kids isn't easy. Moreover, the best problem comes after delivery.

"Be kind to everybody, sweetheart. You don't know when the last time you will be saying goodbye to them" my mom said this to me while tying a braid. I received detention in 4th grade when I got to fight with a girl of 5th grade. Our principal wrote to our family and my mom adviced me this.

I laid my head back on the headboard. I didn't knew the last time, I said goodbye to my mom. I didn't even had the chance to say goodbye. I didn't properly said goodbye to Eve. I didn't even knew the last time I met Ray.

Tons of list stands for the people whom I couldn't say goodbye. Because goodbye isn't easy to say. Maybe, it's better. I really couldn’t say goodbye to them. Death is unpredictable. Maybe perhaps, no one doesn't get to say goodbyes perfectly. Life is beautiful in its imperfectness.

Riley didn't showed up today. Probably, busy in handling the prior attack. I regret splashing the wine into the boy's face but I'm somehow satisfied. Layken gave me an earful for about two hours. Why she should be compassionate to strangers?

I opened my eyes squeezing hard. Last night, I fell asleep with Finnie in my hands. She is still asleep. I tried to put her down

But! Fuck!

My back hurts!

I clutched my back. The result of sleeping by sitting full night. I need to take pain killer.

I freshened up myself and opened my door. To the top of my voice, I called
"Layken"
Cause I know she will be sleeping. Today's weekend. Everybody tends to enjoy.

"Yes honey"
I looked clearly. She is in the kitchen, baking something. Smell sounds cake. I hurriedly walked past the door.
"What are you baking?"
"A cake" she cheerfully said
"Nice" I gave her a thumb and someone said from the dinning table
"A cake would be nice for celebration. Isn't it sis?"

I looked at the table and found a pair of boy and girl looking at me. They both cheered their glass together. I numbly looked at them, unable to move.

Minutes passed away. The boy took a sip and said
"Are we supposed to be dead, Lauriya?"
"Consciously, no" Lauriya replied.
"Then why the hell she is looking like we were supposed to be dead?" Ted tried to pretend normal. I don't know when they showed up.

I have been receiving their calls or messages since the day I came to know the truth. Maybe that's why they came to check me. But its been like 10 days?

"Ted, Lauriya" I said slowly
"Good, that you remember" Lauriya tried to pinch me. I gulped.
"We thought that you might have forget us judging by your behaviour since last few days" Ted said with a rude voice.
"I'm sorry" I walked near them.

They are my own sister and brother. But, somehow, I felt a barrier within us. Specially, I came near to hug them but now I feel it would be good to stand and stare at them abruptly.
"When did you guys landed?" I asked tried to be normal
"When you were having a nightmare and screaming" Ted said this and hugged me.