a place we knew

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His back turned towards her as he walked off into the distance. Further, and further away her view of him dimmed as the gap between them increased. Like a mirror when dropped, the parts of their whole were gone, carried off into the unknown by a man who looked ever so small by the yards of space in between them. Overdrive in her mind, she so desperately wanted to run to him. He's not that far off, go get him. She hummed internally. We can make it. Try again. Go get him. Mixed messages weighing on either side of her shoulders tilted her uneven. She knew the answer, anyone could look back at their many failed attempts, their many attempts to piece together a puzzle that wasn't meant to meld.

Droplets of water adorned her waterline. Do not cry. More and more she wanted to run, to run to him, to run away, to run to his arms. To run. She needed to go. She needed a place to work through the emotions flooding her from within. How did we get here? So many questions she knew the answer to attacked her mind. She knew the answer to them all yet she couldn't seem to let go. Couldn't seem to let the pieces move freely. Not wanting to give up her hold on them.

He was so far gone. So many footsteps in front of her while she was still standing. Standing as her mind attacked her on what to do next. Where to go from here. How to move on. When to move on. People were moving in and out of the parking lot she was standing in. Their footsteps covering the footsteps that had just walked away from her.

Her brain yelled at her to move. One side of her was still tugging, still pulling for him in a way that she knew was ridiculous because he was gone. He wasn't there anymore and her brain didn't know that, her brain didn't want to know that. To know that the pieces she'd worked so hard to get together had broken, and she was out of glue. Another part of her itched to get away, to leave, and go somewhere just like he did. She didn't know where but she had to move. She had to leave the parking lot of people who didn't know what had just happened, didn't know what was weighing her so, so heavily.

She began to walk, step by step, her legs felt as they were built of cement. The more she walked the more she wished she didn't. Feelings that if she had stayed
she could go back, she could make it different. As if she had stayed in the lot, he would come back, and everything would get better. The logic part of her knew that wasn't it, and she kept picking up her legs. Taking every painful step into a new direction. Not following his direction, covering those footsteps that had just ended their story was too much. But she walked, walked until she got to the nearest day train. A train to a new start.

She stepped up to the box office, 1 ticket please, she whispered, willingly but with hesitation. The women behind the glass asked where to, and she couldn't come up with an answer. She had never pictured this. Subconsciously she knew they had been crumbling, clashing at each other for so long, but this, she wasn't mentally prepared for this. For them to be over after being together for so long. For the pieces to shatter when she had only ever seen it as a whole.

Her eyes wandered to the board above, listings of each place the train could go. She scanned the options, looking for the one that would take her the farthest away, away from him, and away from them.

"Boston, Massachusetts, please," she said with a smile she forced on herself. A 4 hour train ride to a city that she had never been to, nor did she knew anyone from. She didn't know what she was doing, or what she was going to do there, but it seemed like the right way to get out. To restart, and be able to breathe through the brokenness she felt.

There wasn't a long wait between the train's departure and when she bought the tickets, and when she heard the call for train b12 she scurried along with the other passengers, who likely had a much clearer plan than she did.

She lugged her still heavy feet up the steps and handed her ticket to the driver.

"Good afternoon," he spoke cheerfully, looking down at the ticket,"Emmy Raver!" he added with a smile.

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