daveed and emmy oneshots

don't let go

She shuddered on the ground she sat atop. Legs pulled up to her chest but her frame moving all around, desperate to find comfort in the uncomfortable. Tears stung at her heavy eyes. Don't cry. Don't cry. Please don't cry.

She pushed into some of the clothes with the amount she shifted. All of her felt on fire, but cold all the same, and she was looking for a way to exterminate it. Hands from her knees moved up to support her head. Palms on her forehead, yet her thumbs pressed into the eyes she didn't want to pour.

Her legs stretched outwards only for her to pull them back in to subsequently move them under her bottom. The uneasiness with position only coupled and compounded by the uneasiness of this state. And the most unsettling part of it all was the lack of knowing why she felt this way.

A wave had washed over her and buried her underneath. She couldn't pinpoint a time, or place, or reason why, but this whole night had been disrupted by an overwhelming sadness, one where she felt paralyzed to movement, other than frantic position changes on the floor of her closet.

Her body felt like a shell, like she had been torn away from the one she knew and squished into another one she didn't fit. At this moment, she wasn't Emmy, at least not at the capacity she had come to know. This confounding identity worsened the state she was already in and forced a whimper from her breath. With one whimper, she couldn't hold it any longer, and her eyes began to run.

One after another, teardrops streamed her face at a pace she couldn't keep up with. She quickly learned that her hand was no match, and she surrendered her back to lean on the wall as she sobbed.

The staggered breathing and heaving of her chest sent her into a fright from how little she was in control of herself right now. She tapped her hand against the ground, looking for a lever, looking for something to hold on to. She was begging for a grip on herself, yet the frictionless wood was no help. She silently screamed when she realized nothing in this room would help her. Nothing in this room could send her back to what she knew as normal. She just wanted to feel better. No pity, no shame, she just wanted this to end.

Beneath her, Daveed was pushing through the door after his night at the studio. He entered a dark kitchen, no one but the dogs at the door to greet him.  He switched on the light with the switch adjacent. On the surface, everything looked the same, there was nothing about his kitchen that was anything out of the ordinary.

But there was a mason jar still half full, sitting on the counter. He took that as evidence that his partner was still home, as he had left her hours before.

"Emmy," he called out, walking through the living room, flipping on another light switch that was turned off. There was no response to his call so he repeated, "Babe, I'm home."

From the bottom of the stairs, he could see that the up matched down in terms of light. Perplexed he walked into the dark, peeking into the corner office before he made his way up the stairs.

"Emmy," he called once more at the landing. He peeked around their home, at the four equally dark rooms that opened up to the loft space. Daveed moved into their bedroom, increasingly confused at the lack of sound. The light was flipped on in their room as well, revealing a squeaky clean room and tightly made bed. Maybe she was surprising him, he thought to himself, looking for a way to make sense of this night.

He threw himself tiredly onto the mattress, just waiting for her to jump out of the bathroom and yell "Boo!"

A minute passed... 5... 10. No one jumped out. His brows furrowed as the idea that she may not be ok popped into his head. He replayed the motions. He had said goodbye and she said it back, sending him off with a kiss. He went to the studio, she stayed here. Now it was past ten, he was home, but where was she?

His internal call to the bathroom was the first time he'd heard any sounds since he'd been home. As he washed his hands, he heard a muffled sound through the walls- a quiet scream, or a sob, he couldn't tell.

His eyes followed his ears into their shared closet. Pitch black was the room when he opened the door. The light revealed her frame, sitting in the ground with her back against the wall. Immediately he saw the way the tears coated her cheeks. He saw the way she tried to rapidly wipe them, her widened eyes noticing him.

Without saying anything, Daveed walked across the room to her. He dropped down to his knees to kneel beside his partner. "Em," he said so softly as he took a singular hand and placed it on her shoulder. She was so tense, her shoulder so rigid under his hand.

"Hey," she mumbled and slightly inched away from him. She didn't look up at him, the only time he'd seen her eyes was when his entrance sent them into shock.

The stark contrast from hours prior to now sent many questions into Daveed's mind. He wondered if something happened, wondered if he'd done something wrong. He had never seen her like this before, her pain was tangible and she had a sense of fear in her eyes. He could tell she wasn't ok, and he hated that for however much time it had been, she had been going through this alone.

Rather than prying into the root, he figured they could sit down and talk later. He just wanted to help her in any way he could, be some sort of comfort. He trailed his hand down her arm and grabbed her hand, squeezing it, to let her know he was there.

With his hold on her hand, she tilted her head up at him, allowing him to see the fullness of her feelings. His heart shattered at her puffy, red eyes staring back at him. His own features softened and he took her other hand, inviting her to her knees, out of the puddle of her own tears.

Her head remained down as she leveled with him. Daveed let go of her hands, shifting to wrap his arms around her. His left arm went to her lower back and his right to her upper. He hugged her like it was the only thing he'd do for the rest of his life, compressing their bodies together and allowing her to fully lean into him.

Just as he held her, she gripped him back. She put her arms around his neck and squeezed so tightly. Her head fell on him as well and he could still hear tiny whimpers floating out. He let her cry, taking one of his arms and rubbing her back slightly. All he wanted was to take the pain away, and he knew it wasn't possible, but if holding her forever would help even slightly, he'd do it.

He whispered a couple sweet nothings into the ear that was right near his mouth. Her head moved slightly on her shoulder and she opened her mouth, "Daveed," she began with a tone as soft as a feather, "Don't let go."

If it was possible, he tightened the grip he had on her. "I got you Emmy. I promise." He held her, long into the night, just the two of them, with a promise to hold on, forever.