Depressed || JJK

(9)

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As I reached home, my heart was racing at incompatible speed.

I've never felt this much scared before.

I stepped in, stuffing the packet of medicines in my bag as I tried to quietly tiptoe to my room.

"Hana."

I gasped when I heard the cold voice of my mother, my breathing becoming uneasy.

"Y-yes mom?" I turned around, trying my best not to feel awkward.

"Have you seen the time? Where were you?" She crossed her arms as her strong gaze pierced through my body and I lowered my eyes.

"I had extra classes mom, I told you." I whispered and she raised a brow.

"Are you lying?" She asked in a high pitched voice and I looked up to meet her eyes.

"I'm not lying. You can call my teacher if you want." I replied briefly and she kept staring at me.

"Okay, go to your room." rolling her eyes in irritation, she moved from my way as I stepped forward, trying my best to keep a straight face.

This is a fact. Strict parents don't raise kids, they raise liars.

"Your lunch is in the freezer. You can fry it." She called out as I entered my room.

"Okay..." I said and quickly shutting the door, I threw myself on the bed exhaustedly.

Wait.

I had to show her my results.

She would be so happy...

I smiled as I got up, changing my clothes as I went out, but couldn't find my mom anywhere.

"She must've gone to get groceries." I mumbled as I went to the freezer to take out my food.

I quickly microwaved it as I hummed lowly, feeling excited as how my mom would react when she would see my progress.

"You should have a proper diet so that you can get better soon."

Dr. Hoseok's words echoed in my mind as I munched on my food, feeling happy from the inside.

"Today was surely great. I wish I could get well soon, as doctor Hoseok said."

After eating a bit, I found my stomach getting full as I breathed out heavily.

I had lost my appetite a while ago.

It would take some time to become normal.

I washed the dishes as I waited for my mom to come back. I went out and sat on the steps of our house, eagerly clutching the sheet in my hands.

"Come back soon mom... I can't wait!" I mumbled excitedly.

After a while, I saw her coming back with a shopping bag in her hand as I dashed towards her, but my smile dropped when I noticed the one and only

Mrs. Han behind her.

"Uh..hello Mrs. Han." I smiled as I stepped beside my mom, who was talking to her.

"Hello Hana, how are you?" She asked and I shook my head.

"I'm good.."

"Well Mrs. Kim, you know my daughter is going to study abroad next year." She tucked her hair behind her ear as she looked at my mom, who was smiling awkwardly while looking at me.

"I heard that.. I'm so happy for Yena." She faked a smile that I knew for too long, as I huffed out a breath.

"Don't worry aunty, I got good marks too this time." I proudly said and my mom's eyes widened.

"Oh really? Wasn't expected..how much you got?" Her face twisted in an uneasy look, as I took out my answer sheet and showed her.

"I got 62% this time."

Just by this, Mrs. Han broke into a fit of giggles as she looked at my mom, who was shocked herself.

"Oh my god, congratulations Mrs. Kim. Your daughter did amazing." She said in a scoffing manner and my smile dropped.

"But mom, it is good, right?" I looked at my mom who glared back at me.

"Of course, Hana. Let's go home now.." she clenched her jaw, holding my hand as she dragged me towards our house.

"What happened mom? Are you not happy?" I asked in disbelief as she pushed me inside, locking the door.

"You could've told me about this at home! Why did you tell her? Now she'll spread this in the whole colony like fire!" She blurted out angrily and I found a lump forming in my throat.

"But mom, I did better! I-I passed!"

"So? Her daughter did much better. I'm not saying that I'm not happy, but you shouldn't have said this in front of her.. I've been telling everyone that you never get less than 85% and you-"

"You lied...mom?" I breathed out, clenching my fists.

"Yes, I did! What do you expect? Should I tell them that my daughter fails every time and gets worst marks? I lie because of our reputation!" She said as tears dripped out of my eyes, onto the carpet.

"Wow... I never knew that mom. You're amazing." I gritted my teeth as I ran back into my room, the flowing tears never stopping as my vision became blurry.

They care about their reputation.

They are not proud of me.

They just think about themselves.

I looked around my room as I sniffed, locking the door as my eyes fell on a very familiar companion of mine.

The blade.