Bound by Blood

Chapter 142- what goes up must come down

"How long? How long have you had nightmares of him?" Jinyoung hyung asks, voice low and almost fearful of her answer.

"Nearly two weeks? At first they were about my parents but now...now that I'll always remember him not only as a murderer but as someone who took away everything. He just won't leave." She whispers, voice shaky as she tells us, as she whispers the burdened truth that though he's dealt with and gone, his deeds are still burning her mind.

It makes my throat swell up and threaten to close in on itself when I think of how stained those bed-sheets had been, how saturated with her blood they'd become. It made me bolt up screaming sometimes when I thought of her not responding, when I felt the bond between us snap and when I remembered that sickening moment when it felt like the world was ripped away from me.

She'd been there for me, sleepily answering the phone and keeping me company until morning with her voice, more often than not she'd snuck out to meet me, to climb into the nesting room at the coven to tuck herself close and soothe me to sleep, hands laced together and asleep by the time the day finally dawned.

But...I hadn't been there. I hadn't been there for her in turn. Because she was hurting and she'd hidden herself away. With that same self-sacrificial intent to hurt but only alone. To not bother anyone else.

"And you didn't tell anyone? You didn't think to tell your mates or maybe even us? Someone who's family?" Eunwoo asks, voice tight with protective anger, rising in his hurt, in his raging concern.

Because unfortunately this was a pattern that Eunwoo and I had become painfully familiar with over the years growing up with her. Because it always took pushing and prodding until she snapped until she told us or until she caved under the burden alone.

It was just that the same young girl we'd seen with tearstained cheeks and glassy eyes had grown into a young woman who hid that pain, hid it even as she gripped the mug for something to keep herself rooted to, but the glassy sheen to her eyes was painfully familiar, a small sniffle coming from her bent head.

One small sound.

And it has Eunwoo melting and curling close with contriteness but also the immediate need to first comfort, the beratement would happen later.

"Marshmallow...if you'd told us then they would've stopped by now. You need to start talking about your hurts." I add, fingers brushing across my mark on her wrist, comfort and love pulsating in the bond between us as we huddle close to her.

She nods.

"I know...it's just so hard to let go of old habits. I didn't want Yoongi oppa feeling guilt, I didn't want the others hurting and I didn't want to burden you with it." She mumbles.

A hand reaches out to take the mug from her and when she raises her head it's to see Jinyoung hyung kneeling in front of her, taking her other hand as he smiles at her, even if his eyes are filled with the crimson of protectiveness.

"Don't you remember sweetheart? You're our nestling. You always have been even if you're part of a mated coven. And that means your hurts are something we deal with together." He says.

She gives a tiny jerk of her head, biting down on her lips as a few tears streak down her cheeks.

His other hand immediately darts out to wipe her tears away, softly cooing and murmuring to her.

"Yugyeomie has a point my darling. Why don't you get rid of the memories that hurt you so much?" MJ hyung asks from over Jinyoung hyung's shoulder.

She gives a small noncommittal shrug.

"It feels wrong to. I couldn't get rid of the memories of that night because it's the last memory I have of them alive. And it feels wrong to get rid of something that reminds me that my life changed, that I can't be the old person I used to be." (Y/N) says with an almost hushed whisper, opening up this rawness, this vulnerability.