Spark in the Dark

Chapter 84

Shawn walked into Juice's hospital and he looked happy, but confused, to see her.

"Hey," he greeted her. "I wasn't expecting you this early."

"Yeah, well, Gemma's family dinner was a real shit show," Shawn told him and dropped her purse on a chair. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. What happened?"

"Can I sit with you?" Shawn asked as her voice began to break. Juice nodded and moved over on the bed. Shawn sat down and leaned against him. "The police found Luanne beaten to death."

"Shit," Juice said. "Was it Caruso?"

"Must have been."

"And they just let you leave Gemma's? No one is watching out for you?" Juice asked, outraged. "Where the hell is Tig?"

"They're all shoved so far up each other's asses they probably forgot all about me," Shawn said. "They were all yelling and if it weren't for Happy, Tig and Bobby would have killed each other. Jax and Clay were at each other's throats. I have no idea what the hell is wrong with them."

"Jax and Clay have been like that for awhile now. No one knows why."

"Jax never said anything to me."

"It's club shit," Juice explained. Shawn sniffled and Juice looked down to see she started crying. "Hey, it's going to be okay."

"Luanne died because Georgie couldn't get to me."

"You don't know that," Juice told her even though he thought she was probably right.

"Of course I do," Shawn argued through her tears. Juice didn't know what to say. He felt worthless being laid up in the hospital like he was. "Can I stay here? I'll sleep in the chair. I just don't want to go home. I want to be with you."

"What if one of the guys comes in the morning?" Juice asked her.

"I don't care anymore. You being arrested and then stabbed made me realize that. I love you and you make me happy. I don't care how anyone else feels about it."

Juice sighed. "Maybe we should talk about this when I get out of here. You've had a rough night."

Shawn sat up to look at Juice. "Why does that matter? Unless you're about to tell me you don't want anyone to know now."

"Shawn," Juice began. "We can't tell anyone. Not now. Probably not for a long ass time."

"Are you serious? Why?"

"We were just arrested. We're probably going to go to prison. I was shanked in jail with all the guys just a few feet away from me. If we tell them now and Tig takes in badly, I'll go to prison with no protection. What do you think will happen to me then?"

Shawn ran her hand through her hair in frustration. "What the hell is wrong with us? I mean, who the hell hides a relationship like this for this long?"

"I know, we made a mistake. I'm pissed we did this to ourselves. We should have told them from day one and we didn't and that's my fault. I was too damn worried about Tig breaking my jaw that I didn't think."

"It's not your fault. If anything it's mine. I let Donna's death twist me all up inside and I ruined everything. I was so busy projecting my shitty, motherless childhood onto Kenny and Ellie I forgot I had a future."

"I was never mad at you for that. I understood where you were coming from. Babe, this is on me, okay?" Shawn suddenly began laughing, even though she was still crying. "Are you laughing or crying?"

"Both. God, we are so ridiculous."

"What do you mean?"

"We're fighting about whose fault it is because we don't want the other to feel bad."

Juice smirked and shook his head. "Yeah, I guess when most people argue about whose fault it is, it's them blaming each other. Here we are trying to give each other a pass."

"You're right about one thing, this has been a shitty night," Shawn said and leaned back against him, again.

"We don't have to figure out anything tonight, okay? We have some time."

Shawn nodded. "So, you don't think it's a good idea for me to stay here then?"

"Call Tig and have him stay in your guest room," Juice suggested.

"By now he's probably drowning his sorrows in whiskey and a Cro Eater."

"It's a little gross how well you know your own father," Juice observed. "Hey, why don't you crash at my place? I'll give you my extra key. Everyone knows I'm here so it's not like they'll be looking for me there."

"Okay," Shawn agreed. She looked up at Juice. "Kiss me."

Juice bent his head down to press his lips to her's. As soon as they touched, Juice remembered how long it had been since he kissed her. He raised his hand to run his fingers through her hair and kissed her harder. Shawn reacted by moaning into his mouth and grabbing his side. Juice gasped and pulled away.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Shawn asked in a panic.

"It's okay. I just forgot to mention... Your dad cracked one of my ribs," Juice confessed.

"He did what?" Shawn asked in anger.

"In his defense, the guys needed me to get into an infirmary and that was the best way to do it."

"Why did they need you in an infirmary?"

Juice sighed and sat up suddenly, forcing Shawn to do the same. "Okay, look, in order to get protection in jail I had to lure some big, black dude who was a snitch into the infirmary so these other guys could get to him. After that, I was heading back to the guys and that's when I was stabbed."

"Jesus Christ. They made you do that?"

"Well, it had to be me. The snitch... found me appealing."

"Are you trying to tell me a big, black dude wanted to bang you in a jail infirmary?" Shawn asked him.

"Nothing happened, but yes."

"I... don't know what to say to that," Shawn said.

"Nothing. Say absolutely nothing and let's pretend it never happened."

"You got it."

Shawn stayed with Juice for a little while longer. When she started to get tired, Juice gave her his extra key so she could sleep at his place for the night. She promised to be back the next night to see him and gave him another kiss before leaving. Shawn drove to Juice's townhouse and let herself in. It felt a little strange to be there without him. She went up to his bedroom and got undressed. She opened his closet door and picked out one of Juice's t-shirts to sleep in. Finally, she laid on his bed and pulled his pillow to her chest. The strangeness faded and Shawn felt comforted being surrounded by his things, even if she couldn't be with him. Even after the hellish day she had, Shawn was able to sleep.