Spark in the Dark

Chapter 182

Shawn stepped out the front door in the morning and walked over to the waiting bike. Jax had called Juice a half hour before and asked his permission to take Shawn for a ride. He needed to clear his head and wanted someone to talk to. Juice let the decision be up to her, but also let her know that it would be alright with him if she said yes. Jax's apology a few days prior seemed sincere and Juice knew he had to be going through hell at that moment with Tara taking the boys.

Jax handed Shawn a helmet in silence and she put it on before climbing on the back of his bike. She lightly rested her hands on his sides as he pulled away. They rode for awhile, but about halfway through the trip, Shawn knew where he was taking them. When they stopped, Shawn didn't need to follow Jax. She knew where Opie was buried.

They walked together over to the stone and Jax sat down with his back up against it. Shawn sat next to him and waited. He glanced at her after a few minutes and sighed.

"You got nothing, huh?" He asked her.

"It's not that. I've just realized over the years that it works better if I let you start."

Jax looked down and nodded. "I've been having a hard time feeling any love or brotherhood since Ope died."

"Is that why I'm here and not Chibs or Bobby?"

"No, I would have come alone if you wouldn't come," Jax said with a shake of his head. "I asked you to come because Opie was always my pull back to true north."

"Not sure I can live up to those expectations."

"You don't have to. But you've always told me the truth. No matter how harsh it may be."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Did I deserve this?" Jax asked with tears in his eyes.

Shawn sighed and leaned against Opie's headstone as she thought about how to answer this. "If she had just filed for divorce, I would have said yes. You two could have shared custody of the boys and moved on. What she did, though? No one deserves this."

"What do I do now?"

"Find her. Convince her not to rat," Shawn suggested with a shrug.

"And if I can't do that?"

"Don't ask me that. Don't make me make that decision."

"I'm sorry," he said after a moment of silence. "You're right. I shouldn't put that on you."

"It's okay."

Jax suddenly stood and turned to look at Opie's stone. Shawn did the same. Jax wrapped an arm casually across her shoulders. "He would have hated me for fucking up our friendship."

"He could have never hated you, but I know what you mean. He was so annoyed with me that year I wouldn't speak to you after you told Gemma I was sick."

"I remember," Jax said with a weak chuckle. "He wanted me to apologize and I refused. I didn't think I had done anything wrong."

"You hadn't. I would be dead if it weren't for you."

Jax looked down at her. "First time you ever admitted that."

Shawn shrugged, then looked up at him. "You can still be a good person even if you do shitty things. Find Tara and do the right thing."

Jax smirked, but nodded.

"I know, that's cliché as hell," Shawn told him, "but shut up and listen to me."

"Okay," Jax agreed. They turned and began to walk back to the bike with Jax's arm still around her. "How will I know what the right thing is?"

"You just will."