Spark in the Dark

Chapter 61

Shawn knocked on Juice's door later that evening. He opened the door a moment later and Shawn held up a bag with food.

"Roast beef sandwich?" Shawn said.

"Yes, thank you," Juice said and took the bag. He led her over to the couch and they both sat down to eat. He took her sandwich out of the bag and handed it to her. "What did you get?"

"Turkey club."

"Gimme a piece of bacon off that," Juice requested.

Shawn shook her head. "No way. If you wanted bacon you should have said so when I texted you earlier."

"Well, I'm eating your pickle then."

"No! I want that." Shawn reached for the pickle in his hand and he pulled it away from her. She reached further and he pulled back more until she was close to him.

"Give me a kiss and you can have it," Juice offered.

"Give it to me and I'll give you a kiss," Shawn countered.

"At the same time?" Juice asked and Shawn nodded. He put the food in her hand, but didn't let go until she pressed her lips to his.

"Happy?" She asked when they parted and he nodded. "Can I eat now?"

"Yea, eat," Juice told her. She picked up her sandwich and picked off a piece of bacon to give him. He took it and ate it.

When they finished eating a few minutes later, Juice grabbed a napkin to wipe his hands on and leaned back on the couch. "So, now what?"

"For tonight? Or overall?"

"Overall, I guess."

Shawn shrugged. "I have no idea. I mean, how long after someone gets murdered is it ok to pull focus from that, ya know?"

"Opie is leaving. He'll be gone for a few weeks. If we did it while he was gone, he wouldn't have to deal with it. That is, if it's even a problem."

"What do you mean?"

"What if Tig doesn't care?"

"No, I mean what do you mean Opie is leaving? Donna just died and he's leaving the kids for a few weeks?"

"Yea. He wants to go on a solo trip to clear his head."

Shawn blew out a puff of air. "You really don't think Tig will care?"

"I don't know. Me and him get along. Maybe he won't."

"I don't know about that. Maybe we should wait until Opie gets back and everything with Donna has settled."

Juice sat up and rubbed a hand over his mohawk. "You sure you really want to tell him at all?"

Shawn was surprised by the anger in his voice. "Yea. Of course I do."

"You always want to wait. Wait until it's serious. Wait til Abel is better. Now wait until this has settled. You sure you even want to be with me?"

"Yes, I want to be with you. Why would you even think that?"

"There's always an excuse with you."

"I thought we were on the same page before. You can't just put it all on me."

"I'm not trying to put it all on you. I wanted to keep it a secret at first, too. But we have been together for the better part of a year now. I'm in love with you, Shawn. I want to have a future with you. There isn't any future with us hiding out at your place or here."

"I want that, too," Shawn told him. "But Opie is my friend. He just buried his wife. I can't just announce to the world that I'm in a relationship and really happy about it. What the hell kind of friend would that make me?"

Juice sat back against the couch, but he didn't look at her. "I just keep replaying them pulling Donna out of that truck over and over, again. I keep thinking about, what if that had been you?"

"I kinda wish it had been me," Shawn admitted.

"How can you even say that?"

"If it had been me at least there wouldn't be too little kids who now don't have a mother."

"I don't even know what to say to that," Juice said.

"You can't be mad at me for that. It's true."

"I would be devastated if something happened to you."

"You can't compare yourself to Kenny and Ellie. You just can't."

"If you left here right now and got hit by a bus, I wouldn't be able to tell anyone how I felt because no one would know we were together. At least Opie has you and Jax and everyone else. I'd have no one. I know that's not the samething as them losing a mom, but still. Don't say shit like that."

"Sorry," Shawn quietly apologized. They sat in silence for a minute or two. "Do you want me to go?"

"Please, don't."

"I'm not sure the night can be salvaged."

"We can try," Juice offered. He raised his arm and Shawn moved under it. She leaned against him as he held her and kissed her forehead. "I'll wait, Shawn. Whenever you're ready, ok?" Juice told her after they both had some time to relax.

"I am ready. I promise you, I am. I just want to be sensitive to Opie," Shawn told him and he nodded. "I love you."

Juice looked down and smiled warmly at her. "Love you, too."