Mentality.

Chapter 44 - Keepsake.

This was riding heavily on Chresanto's mind all the way up until the next day. He was wondering about how he was going to tell Romelo, what parents would take him in, and all of the works that came with it. While everyone sat in the front playing board games, everyone was rearing into the 4th day of their escape. They had 36 more days to go until freedom. Zonnique sat in the bed playing with CJ while she changed her diaper. Zonnique looked at Chresanto, only noticing that his mood was dampened.

"What's wrong with you?" Zonnique asked.

"I've been thinking of something....." Chresanto said in a low tone, looking down at the ground. "Something that's important.."

"What about?"

Chresanto looked up at Zonnique, then looked back down at his twiddling thumbs.

"About....placing Romelo and CJ up for adoption.." Chresanto mumbled.

Zonnique didn't even respond. She glanced at him with a look of horror.

"What the hell?" Zonnique barked.

"I was thinking about that because I don't want to drag them with us and all of this dangerous shit. We're runaways." Chresanto said. "They need to be raised proper-"

"I don't give a damn how they need to be raised!" Zonnique snapped. "I'm not giving up my son to or for anyone!"

"Zonnique, you're not thinking!" Chresanto snapped. "Our children can get killed in this shit!"

"Nothing will happen to my son because I'm bound to protect him! As a mother, I'm not letting a damn thing happen to him! I'll take a full clip of bullets to my body before I do that!" Zonnique shouted. "And you need to think about how bad that would hurt Romelo. You know that he loves you!"

"So what would you rather me do?" Chresanto asked. "Risk seeing my son getting shot again, or sending him somewhere where he'd be safe? You need to think about that!"

"Oh really? Because you didn't think about that once until that blonde bitch came along!" Zonnique snapped. "You're letting other people fill your thoughts!"

"So you're just gonna let Romelo go on his own, huh?" Chresanto nodded.

"If I had any say over Romelo, I would beg to keep him too!" Zonnique said in a loud tone. "However, I'm not his biological mother. I have no say in where he goes!"

Chresanto didn't say anything. However, all he could think about one of his sons getting hurt. He was going with the adoption plan. Since Zonnique wouldn't let him place CJ up for adoption, he had no choice but to place Romelo up for adoption.

What he didn't know, is that Romelo was listening the whole entire time from the other side.

As the bright and sunny day wore into a dimmer day, Chresanto used Craig's laptop to look for information on an adoption agency. He laughed to himself, because his screensaver was a picture of a bunch of different expression, indicating that his bipolar disorder was still underway. Once he got a number, he decided to call on private to see what he would be going through and how he would be dealing with it.

"Hello, Texas City Adoption Agency, how may we help you?" A woman answered.

"Hi, I'd like to know how the adoption agency works." Chresanto said in a low tone, scratching his head. "This is my first time placing my or any child up for adoption so.....yeah."

"Do you have a boy or a girl?" The woman asked.

"I have a 6 year old son." Chresanto nodded.

"It isn't easy, is it?" The woman said in a saddened tone as she typed up the information for him.

"Nah. It's not easy at all...." Chresanto said in a hurt tone.

Chresanto heard some more typing, then heard the lady stop and take a deep breath.

"Well, the questions that you probably have is how will my child feel, who will be adopting him, how are his parents, etc. etc." The woman said in a comforting tone. "Basically, you have to create an adoption plan. Once you fill out numerous amounts of information that's based on your child, that'll narrow the list of parents that we can provide for him."

"Okay..." Chresanto nodded, tearing up already as he placed his hands by his mouth.

"When we find a family, we ALWAYS call you to ask you if it's okay." The woman continued. "We give you all of the information that you need about that family. How the look, dress, how they are financially, etc. If you don't like the parents, we won't let them take your child home. But the minute you accept a set of parents, they will be granted all of your child's legal rights."

"Okay...."

"Now until your child is adopted, we make sure that they are well taken care of at our home." The woman said. "Feel free to come and visit your child just so that they feel comfortable. That's if you like."

"Okay....." Chresanto said, getting choked up.

He clenched his fingers together by him mouth and squinted his eyes, bawling silently over the phone. As he paused, he sniffed loudly as he looked out of the window and wiped his eyes.

"I know that this isn't easy." The woman over the other line said. "It's never easy for any parent, but I promise you'll be happy once you see how happy your child is."

"I know." Chresanto sniffed. "I just....I'm gonna miss him."

Once he got off of the phone, he felt that it was time to tell Romelo what was going on. He walked past everyone in the trailer and headed inside of his room. When he walked inside, he noticed that the room was extremely clean. He looked at his bed and noticed that it wasn't made up right, but he could tell that someone put in some sort of effort. Then, he seen Romelo step out of the closet.

"Surprise!" Romelo cheered as he placed his hands out.

"Listen Melo, I gotta talk to you." Chresanto said as he sat on the bed.

"Look, Daddy! I cleaned your room for you!" Romelo said, ignoring him as he paced around. "I made it as neat as I could! I fixed your pillows-"

"Melo, I have to talk to you."

"And I wrote you a note that is two pages long!" Romelo said in a shaky tone. "I wrote how much of a good daddy you are!"

"Melo, really quick-"

"And I don't hate you....I didn't mean that.." Romelo said as he started tearing up. "I be mad sometimes, but I can be a good boy too..."

"Romelo, we have to talk about something serious!" Chresanto said in a loud tone as he closed his eyes.

"Daddy, please don't get rid of me!" Romelo begged as he dropped his note and started tearing up while putting his small hands together. "I promise that I'll be a better child, and I won't be bad anymore!"

"Romelo, daddy wants you to be safe." Chresanto said, holding back his oncoming tears as he watched his son cry.

"I d-didn't mean it when I said that I hate you.....you're not a bad daddy.." Romelo said as he shook his head, letting tears run down his face. "I won't ever say it again.......you're a really good dad! I don't want another dad-"

"Romelo, I can see you again!" Chresanto nodded. "I'll be able to see you! I promise-"

"But you said that you wouldn't get rid of me!" Romelo plead. "I won't be bad again! I promise!"

"Romelo, you could get killed if you stay with me!" Chresanto said as he looked his son in his teary eyes. "I don't want that to-"

"I don't care!" Romelo shouted as he hugged on Chresanto's lower waist. "I don't want a different dad....I want the same dad........."

Chresanto held his son and let him bawl on his stomach. Chresanto leaned the side of his face on Romelo's head and let tears stream all down his face. There was nothing more agonizing than his son crying in his arms. It was even worse than Abby's death. He would rather get shot, than to see Romelo in pain like this.

However, he had to do it. He wanted Romelo to be as safe as he could.