"𝑩𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒚 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒇 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒓𝒐𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒏 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒅𝒆."
~
She's beautiful on the outside but on the inside, there's nothing that's considered beautiful. On the inside, it's rotten, cruel and vile. That's the word...
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There were moments in Danielle's life when she wished she had hugged her father more often. Hugs were his way as a reminder that she was a part of their family, no matter how many times she never felt apart from it.
He always said. "A family of choice is worth ten times more than a family you didn't choose." Blood didn't mean anything.
She didn't understand that until she became friends with the nerds. Her goofy clumsy nerds. Her found family, a family she didn't deserve. Not one bit.
She had never been one for physical contact. Was always hesitant when it came to proximity, rarely hugged her sister, and never approached people. She wasn't sure when such a change happened.
Before she couldn't have cared about anyone, or maybe she did, she didn't know if she cared at all or cared too much. The unforeseen events had her questioning if she had always been this reserved cold person. It was easy for her to be that way, so she just assumed it was the person she was always meant to be.
The truth was that Danielle was broken down before she even got the chance to discover who she was.
Valerie stood her ground saying it was a defensive mechanism. That she had built this wall so high up to hide herself due to the damage it left. Maybe she was right. Maybe Danielle wasn't this emotionless person, maybe she never had been.
Perhaps, she was the only one who saw herself that way.
She never believed when anyone said anything remotely good about her, it was so difficult to see it when she was caged in her flaws.
Even Eddie who barely knew her is convinced she's this selfless person. Danielle thinks otherwise, how could someone be selfless when this entire time she had risked everyone's life just to protect herself. She felt selfish.
But there's this little whisper in the back of her mind reminding her of all the times she has pushed herself to comfort someone. The lines she had crossed just to protect them.
Danielle has never been a touchy person but every few moments she would seem to find herself grabbing someone's hand as a way to let them know she's there for them. She would pull them in embrace because she knew they needed it just as much as she did. Leaving her comfort zone for others.
Maybe, just maybe there was a chance she could change.
But she always found herself in the same position, once she became too comfortable or lowered her guard something came up that forced her to push all her emotions aside leaving her eyes empty and a stone-cold expression on her face making it seem as if she wasn't alive to begin with. And it didn't feel like it, to not feel is to not live. Less vulnerability means less pain but also a lot less love.
She sighed feeling this wave of anxiety linger around her as sticks and leaves crunch underneath her shoes. She was worried about Eddie to the point that Dustin and she were walking beside each other. She couldn't help but think how sad it was that they were all being brought together by death strengthening their non-existent friendship from the last few months. That saving the world was what brought them together, but wasn't that was had started their friendship? The trauma bonding.
