Hollow River

42.

Christian looked at me but didn't say a word for a couple of seconds.
He sighed, but he also saw how desperate I was.

"Come in" he opened the door and let me in. "I am so sorry for everything I said" I mumbled.

I said some pretty mean stuff and I left his team to go to Mercedes. I actually didn't expect him to let me in, I don't know why I came here.

Maybe I kinda knew why, he was my dad. Not by blood, but definitely by heart.

"It's okay, I am also very sorry for the way I treated you" he sighed. "I never wanted to give you the feeling that you're not good enough because you definitely are good enough River. You are extremely smart, kind and everyone likes you"

I knew that he meant every word.

I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him. "I am so proud of you River" he whispered and pulled me in a tighter hug.

We talked for a while, about everything but most importantly about me joining Mercedes.
He absolutely hated it.

He asked me multiple times if I still could quit, I probably could but I didn't want to.
I needed my own place, that's why I didn't want to come back to Red Bull or go to Mclaren.

I wanted this, I needed this.

We were sitting on the balcony of his hotel room. He always had the best room and this weekend wasn't any different.

"So what's going on River? I know you didn't come to my room just to say you're sorry"

I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't think about this, I don't know if I was ready to explain everything to Christian.

"Is it Lando?" He asked. I immediately looked up. We never hide the fact we liked each other but we also weren't really vocal about it.

"How do you know about Lando and I?"

He chuckled a little. "Because I know you. You're different around him. Every time I see you walking with him, you're smiling and you changed since you met him"

He was right, I did change because I wanted to be better for him.
I wanted to support him, because he needed it.

"But he lied. This whole thing was a lie" I looked at the stars. I still didn't get why he never told me.

That's why he knew what kind of pizza to order, that's why he brought me to a food truck festival, that's why he listened so carefully when I started talking about my parents.

Because he already knew those things. He manipulated me into thinking that we were alike, that we like the same things when all he did was use the information I gave him.

"And you never lied to him?" Christian shook me out of my thoughts.
I never lied, I betrayed him but that was different.

We didn't love each other back then.

He lied when he knew I was falling pretty hard for him.

"Since when are you a Lando fan?" I laughed. "I am a fan of everyone who makes you happy" he answered.

The perfect answer, definitely a dad answer.

"Even George? Or Lewis?" I joked. He rolled his eyes in response. "Don't push it"

At this point I didn't even know if I should be happy that he approved of Lando.

I didn't even know if I still like Lando.

Who was I kidding. I was completely in love with him and Christian was right, I betrayed him way worse.

If he could forgive me, then I could definitely forgive him for this.