Catch Me (P.Sh) [Sequel]

Low (2)

I quietly laid and stared at the white door in the other end of the room, laying under the warm duvet as I could hear quiet knocks continuing on the other side.

"Please Hana," Sunghoon's voice begged on the other side.

I laid still in the duvet that smelled like him. The nice smell let me daydream my way to the times before all of this mess. To before half an hour ago when we were our usual selves and he had never dared lay a harmful finger on me.

"Please let me in Hana... I am begging you," Sunghoon continued on the other side of the door as the knocks ceased to continue, "please let me explain."

"Why?" managed to get out, finally answering him.

"Thank god you answered," I could hear him breathe out on the other side of the door before there was weighted down slightly on the doorhandle, "please let me explain."

"Why?" I repeated once again, but just a bit louder.

"I didn't mean to... it just happened," he sighed as I could hear him lean his forehead against the door, "I would never hurt you... you know that."

"Do I?" I let out a small snort at him.

"I know... I know I messed up... and I messed up badly this time but... I swear... I seriously don't know what happened," Sunghoon continued, "can't you just let me in and explain?"

"I prefer there to be a barrier between us," I denied as I sat up in bed and pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging them tightly.

"Okay..." Sunghoon sighed, "but will you let me explain?"

"I'm waiting," I assured him making him sigh deeply before a small thud came from the door.

"I-" Sunghoon started before he paused and it was silent for a minute, "I can't explain this away... I simply can't and I know what I did was wrong... it was so wrong. How in the world could I dare touch you like that?" he complained mindlessly to himself.

I soon realized it wasn't actually an explanation I was gonna hear but instead all of Sunghoon's thoughts uttered out loud.

"I mean... I love you... I love you so much, more than I ever thought I could love anything or anyone," he let out a small laugh of disbelief, "then how the hell can I go and fuck everything up so fast by just a short moment of being mindless. I just snapped... and I snapped without reason... and I get if you'd want to break up with me. I'm welcoming any decision you'll make and want. I just... I want you to know that I'll do anything I can to avoid this situation in the future, I'll take some anger management courses if that is what's wrong with me," he sighed with an assurance to me, "I'll do anything to make sure I'll never hurt you again."

I stayed silent for a while after Sunghoon finished talking, making another sigh escape from him. To be completely honest it sounded like something between a sigh and a whimper.

"Please say something," Sunghoon quietly whispered, so I barely could hear it through the door.

"Do you remember when I told you about my childhood?" I slowly questioned trying not to let my voice shake, "about the circus and how... how I was treated."

"Oh my god," Sunghoon let out a shaky breath on the other side of the door, "don't... don't tell me..."

"Figure it out yourself... figure out who you looked like in my mind the moment your hand came in contact with my cheek," I confidently spoke before hearing what I was sure was a whimper on the other side of the door.

"You saw your mom," he realized, "and even though she did what she did... you're still not over her death nor what happened through all those years... and I just made it worse than it already was..."

"Good thing you realize it yourself," I commented and picked at my nails, "now go sleep on the couch we can take this tomorrow."

"No," Sunghoon sternly stated making me look up at the door in shock, "we're not going through this period again where there's tension between us. I can't do that again and you can't do that again. We settle this tonight... before sleeping."

"Sunghoon... I-" I started but he immediately cut me off.

"No, let me in. We're settling this now. I'll call Jake down to sit in the room if you're scared to be alone with me," Sunghoon offered making me let out a sigh, "we need to settle this now Hana... You can't get around it. I don't care if we end up settling this with parting... well... I do care, but I would understand the decision."

"I don't wanna talk Sunghoon," I shook my head as I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"We have to," he urged, "you know we have to Hana."

"I don't want to," I continued making him sigh.

"Why not?" he softly questioned.

"Because... I don't want this to end... but I can't stay after this..." I admitted and wiped my tears away, "I just can't do this to myself anymore... I shouldn't stay in a relationship that isn't healthy just because it's the only thing I know. I can't keep doing it to myself... it's not fair."

"Please let me in so we can talk this through," Sunghoon spoke again, "you're completely right that it isn't fair to you, which is why we have to talk it through. We need to figure this out."

"If I am... If I open the door promise not to touch me," I spoke making a sigh come from Sunghoon.

"Okay... just let me in," Sunghoon urged.

I quietly got up and walked over to the door. I let my hand rest on the lock for a moment before quietly unlocking the door and cracked the door open to look out at Sunghoon.