Catch Me (P.Sh) [Sequel]

Stop Feeling Uncomfortable

End March 2021

I arched an eyebrow as Sunghoon marched into the bedroom and without a word just crawled up into my bed to sit and stare at me. I just stared at him for a few seconds before looking back down at my papers, making two pats immediately be felt on my left foot making me look back up at Sunghoon who just sat and looked at me.

"What?" I questioned making him pat my foot again, two times, "what?"

"I wanna talk," he stated as he patted my book again, making me immediately pull my left knee up to my chest to move my foot away.

"Stop patting my foot, it's weird," I complained making him smile slightly, "talk about what?"

"Us," he shortly stated making me hum and gather my papers before looking up at him, "here, give me those," he offered and extended his hand towards me. I nodded before slowly handing him the papers and he placed it on the stairs up to my bunk, right beside him.

"You want to talk about... us?" I questioned him and he immediately nodded at me, "what about it?"

"I know... I know we sort of made up... and you're finally willing to kiss me again, but I just... you seem like you're uncomfortable when you're around me," he excused with a shrug making me hum at him, "and I want to know what I can do to help it."

"You do now why I seem uncomfortable around you, sometimes, right?" I questioned and he nodded before looking down at his lap.

"It's fully deserved, trust me, I know," he assured with a small sad smile towards me.

"I'm scared you'll suddenly accuse me of something again or just suddenly begin to act cold towards me," I shrugged making him hum as he just nodded before he extended his arm out and laid his hand in my lap, "what?"

"Please take my hand," he urged making me softly smile before placing my hand in his. He immediately gave my hand a small squeeze before intertwining his fingers with mine.

"Hoonie?" I questioned making him hum and move out of his daze as he looked over at me, "what's on your mind?"

"How mad I am at myself," he softly spoke, "because I know this is my fault and I took so many things for granted before our small argument, and now I'm scared I'll never get those things back again."

"Which things?" I questioned him and he just shrugged before looking straight ahead, towards Sunoo's empty bed.

"How... you always gave me a small kiss on the cheek when you thought I had done well in something, whether it be a performance or because I tried to cook you dinner... even though it was very few times," he let out a small laugh as I just nodded in agreement, "or how... you just would grab my hand or arm whenever I was close to you, it was like it was just an instinct of yours and I felt so good when you did it, because it made me feel like you want me to protect you and it made me so happy and proud whenever you did it. Or how you would always laugh so brightly whenever I made a joke. I miss that the most. I really really miss your laugh."

"I still laugh," I reminded him and he just nodded at me.

"But you don't really laugh at me or my jokes, you just... snicker at them," he sighed, "I also miss how you usually would hum and melt into my arms when I would come and hug you from behind when we're about to sleep. Now you just sort of stiffens up and move a bit away from me... I don't like that. I want you to melt in my arms, lean back against my chest as if I'm truly your safe place."

"But you are," I reminded him making him nod before sadly looking back at me.

"But I don't feel like it," he shook his head making me softly smile at him, "and I don't know how to fix what I ruined and it kills me... every single day. I messed up so badly that I hurt you so much that you're somewhat scared at me."

"Come here," I sighed and pulled on his hand as I stretched the other to my side, "you need a hug."

He let out a small laugh before crawling up and laying on my legs as he wrapped one arm around my waist, keeping the other intertwined with my hand. He always loves to hold my hand at any time he has.

"Am I tensed up now?" I muttered as I ran my hand through his hair as he laid his head on my stomach.

"No..." he slowly admitted, "but I feel you're just doing it for me."

"Of course I am... I don't want you to be mad at yourself," I let out a small laugh, "I know you're sorry about everything by now and now it's my turn to work on just... melting into your arms," I teased making a small whine come from Sunghoon as he softly slapped my back.

"It's not funny," he complained at me making me let out a small laugh.

"I know... I know..." I assured him with a small laugh, "Hoon?"

"Hoonie," he immediately corrected making me let out another small laugh.

"Hoonie?" I questioned making him hum at me, "I love you, you know that, right?"

"Yeah..." he hummed as he nodded his head at me, "and I love you two times more than you love me."

"How would you know?" I let out a small laugh.

"I just said how it was, then that's how it is," he shrugged a small smile slowly spreading on his face, "besides... I like the thougght of loving you more than you love me."

"No," I sternly stated, "I love you equally as much as you love me, then... I just decided that... no difference in love!"

"Okay..." he let out a small laugh at me as he gave my waist a small squeeze, "then we love each other equally."

"Exactly."

"Which is a lot."

"It is."