the strongest avenger (2)

sixty eight

I jerk upright, the broken pieces of a nightmare floating through my mind. I place a hand on my chest, my skin heating up and my heart beating rapidly. Glancing around the room, I see Peter twitch beside me while I try to catch my breath.

"What's wrong?" He murmurs, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"Nothing, go back to sleep, Pete."

"Mmm." He turns over to the other side and I brush back stray strands of my hair.

I'm slightly sticky with sweat, so I get up and head into the other room and then my bathroom. Leaning over the sink, I splash some water on my face and just stand there for a few seconds, bracing myself on the vanity.

I dry my face and hands, trying to push out my most recent nightmare. My bare feet patter on the wood floor as I leave the bathroom and exit my room, not forgetting to grab a book on my way out.

It's silent out in the living room and kitchen, and I see that it's about 3:30 in the morning.

Great. I only got about two and a half hours of sleep.

I see the couch come into view as I round the corner and clutch my book closer—

"That's the first one since you've been back."

I squeal at the voice and drop my book, jumping a little. I turn to the left to find Bucky sitting at the kitchen table, a coffee mug in hand.

I shake myself out of my stupor and pick up my book, continuing over to the couch.

"Yeah. It is." The first nightmare since being with Hydra.

"How'd you prevent them for the past week?"

"Been too tired to dream."

"And now?"

"I don't know, James." I sigh and open up my book to where I left off. "I try not to think about what they did there."

"Where's Bug Boy?"

"In bed."

I clench my jaw as I hear Bucky get up and come over by me, settling in the chair opposite of the couch.

"Hell of a start to your birthday."

I pause and look up at him. His dark hair is getting long again, flopping over into his eyes. He also has some scruff along his jaw and dark circles under his eyes.

"I don't care much for birthdays."

"Why not?"

I try to not show my impatience with him. "I never celebrated till I got to Earth. They don't mean anything. They're just a way to keep track of how many years you've been alive."

He's quiet for a few seconds. "Okay, but... it's also to celebrate you being alive."

"Mmm, is that a good thing?" I smirk as I see his eyes narrow at me.

"Do I need to—"

"I was kidding. I'm not gonna try and kill myself...well...again." I chuckle at myself and just put my forehead in my hand that's leaning on the arm rest.

He's quiet for a few seconds. "Are you doing okay?"

"I'm doing great."

"I'm serious. Are you—"

"I'm fine." I shoot him a glare and then turn back to my book. "I don't want to talk anymore. I came out here to get some space and read my book. I get that you're trying to be...nice or whatever, but I don't feel like having a heart-to-heart right now, Buck."