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Derina's POV-
"Are you going to come inside now?" Mason asked me impatiently.
"It's not my mistake that this," I gestured to the room and walked in trying to take everything in. "-has put me into shock mode." I looked at him and he smirked.
"Hey what can I say? I'm talented. But I'm hurt that you find this shocking and unbelievable." He put his free hand on his heart in mock hurt.
"You're a narcissist." I said and didn't wait for him to reply just walked to see all the paintings closely.
So there were hundreds of paintings. There were large windows. The room was really simple and different from the whole house. And I didn't want to boost his ego so much, but the paintings were amazing. I'm sure every painting had a meaning. I didn't know how much time it would take to actually look at each and every painting in the room.
What caught my attention after some time, wasn't a big canvas, but it was a paper which was fallen on the floor with many other papers.
It was a simple water color painting of a girl which turned into fire. Now, I knew exactly what it was. Every paper had fire patterns on it. Honestly, I actually thought there would be a canvas like that which would show the fire scene but there were papers which had what I expected.
"Why am I not surprised to see this?" I said and showed him the paper.
"Oh, it's uh-, nothing actually." He said.
"It shows your guilt. A drawing is about what you can make others see through it." I said to him and walked there.
He was looking at me, almost staring. As if he couldn't believe I was speaking all that. Yeah I don't know how to paint and all but I know how artists draw what they draw and why they draw the particular scene.
"Do you still blame yourself?" I asked him. "Because, if you're going to say yes then maybe the reason for your accident was me. The conversation we had, actually not the conversation, you didn't say anything. It was me who screamed at you. So should I blame myself?" I asked a bit harshly.
But then the moment when he lay on the hospital bed unconscious, came into my mind. Whatever I said to him came rushing back to me. He didn't remember, didn't hear any of it. I knew he wouldn't hear it obviously. But I wanted him to know what I felt for him. But it was so hard to speak like this, when facing him. We both are incapable of doing it.
"Obviously not. Look I didn't know what to say when you said all that to me before the race." He said.
"Are you seriously still stuck on that? Mason, we met after two years. That's a hell lot of time. And you still have nothing to say to me?"
"What do you want me to say? I didn't see you in the hospital when I woke up. If you didn't hear my Mom talking, my question was 'where is Derina?' I wanted to see you. Is this not enough? Does only saying it properly matter?"
Was he really asking that? I wanted to smash a canvas on his head. He keeps doing this all the time. Obviously saying what you actually feel matters more than anything.
"Okay. You want to play this game? Two can play it. Just keep pretending like we don't feel anything." I fold my hands and looked into his eyes.
I know I was acting like a hypocrite. I mean, I couldn't say what was in my heart and I was expecting him to say it. I know I was wrong, but that just meant that there was nothing left here to fight for.
"Drop it Derina. Please. I'm not playing any game here. Have you ever tried to show what you actually want? You've kissed another guy in front of me and you want me to do something? I clearly don't know what goes on in your mind. It is sad that I still can't understand you." He said and he started walking out.
"Do you know I sat there when you were unconscious? I sat there and cried my eyes out. I kept talking to you hoping that you would wake up. After seeing my state, your Mom forced me to go home. I didn't want to be there when you woke up because, I thought that, because of me, you lost control of your car." I finished rambling and he had the same look on his face that he had before the race. It was as if he couldn't believe I sat beside him in the hospital.
"You shouldn't do this."
He said it so softly that I couldn't even hear it properly. He walked out. He left, again. I wanted to break down there itself.
I would've kind of been happy if I would've got a sappy cliché love story because this story that I got, is really crap. It's not even next to cliché because I don't think Cinderella kept running away like thousand times. She ran once, and the Prince charming never gave up.
Oh but our story has never been like that. He keeps running and so do I. So he's not the Prince charming. But I did leave my necklace, not my shoe. The necklace he had given me. I don't even know whether he has it or not.
I wasn't exactly sure when it happened or how, but I actually felt physical pain in my heart whenever he left me like. I just knew that I was falling hard right here, right now and I could only wish that he was feeling the same.
I felt like I was falling in love all over again. With the same boy.
I don't know how long I sat there. Looking through the window.
"I didn't know you were this weak." Jessica said and entered the room.
It's really unbelievable how every time something happens, one of my friends come and talk to me. Aiden, Nathan and Jess. And then there was Dan, he never said much in matters like these.
"I love him." I said.
"I know that.''
"I realized this because I keep forgiving him even when he keeps breaking my heart." I said.
"He feels everything too Derina." She said.
"Because he doesn't look at other girls the way he looks at you."
I almost laughed because if he felt anything, even half of what I feel, he wouldn't keep doing this. There is no reason for us to keep running away, really. Why is he so scared of all this?
"I don't want you to give up. Because you? You care. It's effortless care that I've never seen before." She said and I looked at her. When did she become so wise?
"Why couldn't he be Prince charming or my Knight in shining armour?" I asked her.
She chuckled. "Cliché and Prince charming was never your type. You had all charming guys falling at your feet before Mason came into your life. You can still get anyone you want." She said and we both kept looking at the view. "You wanted thrill, adventure, passion and a love that consumes you."
"What kind of thrill and passion involves getting your heart broken in every two seconds?" I snorted. But she was right. I've never liked the typical romance. Sure, I watch chick flicks, but I never wished for that love story which came easy.
"Every love story involves heart break." She said. And finally I cried again. When it comes to him, I automatically cry.
"I didn't want to admit that I loved him." I said and Jessica pulled me in for a hug and I cried.
"But that's the thing about love right? You fall for the unexpected one and at the unexpected moment."
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Mason's POV-
Her necklace. The necklace I gave her for Christmas, is still with me. When I met her at the airport when she was leaving for NYC, she left it on her chair. I have it with me from that day.
As I got to know her, I began to realise that beauty was the least of her qualities. I became fascinated by her goodness. I was drawn in by it. I didn't understand what was happening to me. And it was only when I began to feel actual, physical pain every time she or I left the room, it finally dawned on me, I was in love, for the first time in my life. I felt it for the first time when she left the airport.
I kept denying. I kept denying myself and everyone else around me.
It hurt me, it hurt when she left. I didn't want to experience that same hurt all the time. So I kept running away. But I didn't know that I'm going to keep hurting and she will get hurt too.
So I sent Jessica to her. I didn't want her to cry. I knew I was the reason she would cry but that's just who I am. And I feel like throwing a shoe on myself because Derina hasn't done that yet.
We were leaving for the airport in an hour. Mom Dad already left in the afternoon.
I walked out of the house to get some fresh air.
"Aiden?" I asked and he was sitting on the stairs. He looked at me and didn't say anything. I decided to just go and sit.
"What are you doing here?" He asked me.
"I am really sorry about Marissa." I told him. I was a bit surprised too. I didn't come here to talk to him. More like apologize.
"Isn't it too late for an apology?"
"It is. But I didn't even know that you loved-" I was saying but he cut me off.
"Actually, it's not even your fault. I blamed you for no reason."
"I loved her too. Derina reminds me of her." I said and threw a stone in the far distance.
"That's the problem, that Derina is so much like her. Her laugh is absolutely fUcking beautiful."
"Didn't you ever fall in love with Derina? I know you didn't love Ashley." I said and I wished that he would say no. Because why would I want anybody else loving Derina?
"I did. Spending two years with her would make anyone fall in love with her. She's strong, funny, arrogant and the prettiest. And she raced, that didn't help either."
He loved her. Great! Just great. But he was right. We weren't just two bad boys fallen for a good girl, because Derina wasn't a good girl. She always had the fire which has drawn me closer to her. She had confidence and boldness.
"Why didn't you tell her?" I asked him even when I didn't want to.
"Because I was sure she would always love you. And I didn't want to come into the competition, you would lose." He snorted and threw a stone.
"And you tell me that I'm full of myself?" I shook my head and smiled. He was saying he loved her and still I was sitting here having a heart to heart with him.
"Now that I think about it, I should actually tell her what I feel, shouldn't I?" My eyes were wide now. "The look on your face. Priceless." He said and chuckled.
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No wonder Nathan loved her too. And Aiden. And then there was me. The stupid jerk. But, I was kind of right here. I have to go out of DC after college. My Dad wants me to attend to business somewhere else for a year or two. I don't think a relationship can survive so many complications.
Plus, the things and deals going on between Ashley and my family are also a big problem no one knows about.
God only knows where this story will lead us. But one thing is for sure, denial about love never helps.
And then I heard her laugh. I looked behind me and saw everyone walking out. And indeed her laugh was absolutely fUcking beautiful.
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