:::Charity:::
The carriage rumbled to a stop and I sat transfixed as I stared at the curtained door. Who waited on the other side? What would they say to me, what would I say to them? I clutched the small, stained sac that held all of my earthly belongings closer to my chest as the breathing I tried so hard to control come out in rasps. I stuck my hand in the bag and wrapped it around the jacket and calmed myself slowly. It was foolish to make a treasure of this jacket, even more foolish to bring it, but it was the only thing I had of his and it made me feel safe.
The carriage door came open suddenly and the dark interior was lit by the unusually warm and bright September sun. I blinked rapidly until the dark figure materialized into a person. Brandan seemed surprised as he watched me carefully. He was dressed simply and stood out all the more because of it. He reached his hand toward me and I stared. This was my last moment where escape was possible, I shook my head to dislodge the cowardice from my heart. I gripped my bag tightly and grasped his hand and allowed his strength to pull me forward.
I stepped down and took in my surroundings. The carriage pulled into a circle drive in front of a small cottage that looked to be a single person dwelling. The grey face of the stone was combated by blue shutters and a blue door. There was a small flower box on both sides of the door that was giving its last efforts in the waning season. Over all it had a quaint and welcoming air.
Brandan urged me forward with an understanding smile on his kind face. "This is the rectory my cousin John occupies. He'll be performing the ceremony tomorrow." Brandan stopped by the door and turned to face me, his look serious and still forgiving. "John will bring you to the church in the morning and hide you in the room Geraldine will wait in. If you choose to stay there after she leaves, John will bring you here and no one will be the wiser."
I nodded but found that words still failed me. Brandan smiled and knocked roughly on the door. A tall, older man with Brandan's sparkling green eyes answered a moment later. "Brandan." He said with a smile on his too thin face. His eyes took stock of me and his smile grew and erased any unease in his eyes. "This must be the young lady I am helping to infiltrate the festivities tomorrow?" I nodded and his smile became even more kind. "Don't worry, young lady, your secret is safe with me."
"Thank you." I whispered and pulled my bag even closer to my chest as he ushered Brandan and I into the entryway.
"Good, good." He watched me with curiosity for a moment longer in silence. I heard footsteps approaching form the depths of the house and turned anxious eyes on the man in front of me, to which he just smiled. "My daughter, Joline, will be helping you with whatever you need." At the mention of her name, a girl of about fifteen years appeared at his elbow. She was taller than me with dark hair and the same expressive green eyes as her father. "Joline, my dear, why don't you run a bath for our guest?" The girl bent her head and disappeared back into the house. "I'll give you two a moment." He locked eyes with Brandan and nodded his head and he too disappeared into the house.
I turned to face Brandan and smiled weakly at his accessing glance. "You can trust John, he won't alert anyone to your presence. If you choose to leave, I will arrange for your transportation and no one will have to know." He paused and watched me like I might bolt and I felt the tremendous urge to do so. "I'm glad you came." He hugged me briefly and in a moment was gone.
After some time I turned from the closed door and found the young girl watching me from around the corner. I squared my shoulders and smiled with a confidence I did not feel. "Hello."
"Hello." She replied tentatively. "Your bath is ready, miss, if you are." I nodded and followed as she turned briskly on her heel and walked down the hall to the left. The house was small but comfortable and Joline led me up a set of stairs and turned to the door on the right. She opened it slowly and waited for me to enter.
It appeared to follow the length and width of one side of the house with a gently sloping ceiling. A single bed stood against the front wall just under the only window. A small vanity with a cloudy mirror occupied an otherwise empty side of the room where where the ceiling cut swiftly down. A screen separated one half of the room from the other with a writing desk against it.
I turned to her and asked, "This is your room?" It was a completely unnecessary question but I didn't know where to even begin. She nodded shyly and I smiled. "I like it, it is very nice." The girl beamed and stepped closer to me and shut the door. "I suppose the tub is behind that screen?" Again the only reply I received was a brisk nod. I walked behind the screen and set my bag down. After three long days of being in a carriage with nothing to occupy myself but musings of the past and dread of the future, all I wanted was a warm bath and a good rest.
"Do you require assistance?" Joline asked from the other side of the screen.
"No thank you," I declined with a silent shake of my head. A year of living on my own hadn't robbed me of my modesty. I managed on my own and I'd manage now.
"Brandan sent these over before you came, he said you would probably need them." Over the top of the screen she draped a few of the remnants of my wardrobe that I had left. I stared at them in disbelief and my silence must have been what the girl was expecting. "He said you would be angry if he acquired new garments for you but you couldn't be angry if he gave you back what was yours."
I stared mutely as tears of gathered in my eyes. Even my best dress was stained grease and patched in several places, my undergarments and stockings fared even worse. I looked at the robin egg blue and soft pink day dresses and felt the first stirrings of true hope. I washed the grime and dirt of a year away and dried quickly.
"Was there anything else?" I asked as I looked at the crumpled heap of underclothes on the floor.
"Yes. Truth be told he brought an entire trunk, I just liked these best." Joline admitted shyly. "The trunk is the one in the corner."
I turned and saw it for the first time and walked slowly over. It held everything I'd left behind, even the light blue cloak I'd left hanging in the stables. I found everything from my life, the shoes and hair combs and these small pieces of my past broke what little of my heart that was left. How could I not stay with Geri? I'd been dying a little more every day without her sunshine. I clutched the edges of the trunk and finally gave into the longing of my heart. I didn't have the strength to walk away again. I would endure whatever trials were to come because I knew I was nothing without the love and acceptance of my family.
I took a moment to compose myself and finally asked, "Joline would you mind terribly if I needed your help?" An hour later I sat properly dressed for the first time in months. I was surprised to find my waist had shrunk nearly two inches and made the light pink dress hang around my body loosely but I didn't care.
I stayed in Joline's room for the remainder of the day, aimlessly staring out of the window. With my jumbled emotions I wasn't fit company. Joline left to attend to her chores after exclaiming over me for nearly half an hour. Dinner was brought up to me and in no time at all it was dawning the morning of Geri's wedding.
I changed quickly into the blue gown and Joline helped pile my hair onto my head in a semi-fashionable style and secured it with my gifts from Geri. I ignored the mirror, I knew I looked a fright with worry and pain gripping and twisting my insides. I couldn't eat a bite and stared blankly out of the window while John and his daughter ate.
"Are you ready?" I jumped at the question and looked up in the rector's kind and understanding eyes. Perhaps it was the remarkable resemblance between Brandan and his cousin, but for some reason, in that moment, I felt calm descend. I nodded and rose to my feet. "Good," he smiled and offered me his arm, "It's a bit of a trek but I like to take a stroll in the fresh morning air."
John led us from the house and down a well-worn, tree lined path. The sun wasn't as bright or as warm as the day before but the breeze and the colors of the leaves made for a pleasant, if somewhat chilly, walk. My companion was silent as we moved forward but his commanding presence kept me calm.
"Have you considered your options?" John stopped and faced me, blocking my path, behind him I saw what had to be the country church we were headed to. I looked up at him, slightly bewildered. "It is okay, your secret is safe with me, but I knew who you are, it wasn't too difficult to piece together." I could feel my eyes grow to saucers inside my fear. "I know you are the Lady Geraldine's lost sister. I watched you closely all morning and I know you are terrified. If there is some reason you have to fear, you can tell me and I will help you hide, even from Brandan.
"Oh no, it is nothing like that." I said as I released a pent up breath.
"You are certain?" I nodded and his smile transformed his face. "Good, are you really ready then? I doubt anyone will be here yet but I don't want to take any chances. I will have to sneak you in from the side."
"Okay." I breathed, my voice and body unwilling to keep me moving forward. I gave myself one final shake and followed him across the finely cut grass to the building that held all of my hope and all of my hear. I followed John around the side of the building and into a door that revealed a clean, white hallway.
He walked to the end of the small hall and turned away from the main room of the building and pointed to the door. "They will be here shortly. Good luck, dear child." He squeezed my upper arms and upon releasing me, opened the door.
I stepped into the room with my heart beating faster than it ever had before. I closed my eyes and tried not to jump when I heard the door shut behind me. I opened my eyes slowly and saw the room I occupied was small and neat, just like the rectory had been. It had a desk in one corner piled high with precisely stacked papers and a worn chair. There were four other chairs set in a small circle in the middle of the room. I chose to stand in a darkened corner that let me see the door while remaining hidden behind a tall plant. I sighed at my own fear but I had no hope of suppressing it.
After all this time, after everything I'd done, could Geri forgive me? This crippling fear was more powerful than the pain and confusion that had driven me away in the first place or the regret and loneliness that was my constant companion since I left. I wrapped my hand around my mother's locket and stood as still as stone while I waited in trepidation. In the dark moments that passed I lost all trace of time while my eyes fixed forward.
When the nob turned an eternity later I closed my eyes and pressed my body into the corner. "It is okay, I promise." I heard Brandan's reassuring voice and found that I could breathe again. "It won't be long before you're a married woman, I thought it best to let you rest in here." I heard the distinct sound of feet on the carpeted floor as the door shut behind them.
"Really, Brandan, I'm fine to wait with my father and mother." At the sound of my sister's voice my heart stopped and squeezed my eyes even more tightly.
"Hush, my love." I opened my eyes in shock and saw Brandan with his arms around my sister's waist and his face pressed lightly to the side of her head. My quiescent heart began a frenzied pounding in my chest and I met Brandan's eye. The truth was plain and evident as love shown out of his calm gaze.
I drank in the sight of my sister like a dying man must view an angel. She sighed and gave into the comfort of his embrace. Her sunshine colored curls fell down to the middle of her back and was pulled away from her face by hair combs of silver and amethyst to match the purple of her gown. Her skin was as bright as ever, even after believing her locked in her room for a year. I could see she shone with life. Her head was tucked into Brandan and her eyes were closed but even being this close was like a soothing hand held mine. She wasn't marrying Kent and I could stay with her forever, if she forgave me.
Happy tears ran down my face and I was rendered speechless by my bliss. Brandan cleared his throat and I looked up into his eyes and nodded my head, now was the time. My heart clenched in hear and I took a step forward, mare bravely than I felt as my legs carried me another foot closer. I could go no further as my body began to shake and my forehead broke in sweat.
Brandan seemed to sense that I was at my limit and he turned Geri so she was facing away from me. He cupped her face and kissed her gently and I felt a smile rip from the depths of my soul. Despite everything Geri had been through she still managed to find her happy ending. "Be strong, my love." Brandan whispered and he slowly turned her to face me, her clear blue eyes were round with fear.
When she saw me her legs collapsed and her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Brandan caught her and gently placed her in one of the four chairs. I stayed standing where I was, unable to move or breathe or even think. Did that mean she didn't want me here? "Brandan?" My voice squeaked out of my mouth whisper soft and yet conveying every ounce of my uncertainty and fear.
"She was just overcome." He turned worried green eyes on me and frowned. "You should sit as well before you faint."
I nodded and collapsed as well, my legs folding under me and my rear hitting the floor with a jarring pain. "Charity?" I opened my eyes and saw Geri watching me as if she expected me to disappear. I nodded and stood shakily to my feet, Brandan assisted me to the chair across from my dumbstruck sister. I watched her for a moment. "I have dreamed so often of this," she breathed and reached her hand forward. When her finger touched my face she pulled back as if the touch hurt her. Before I could even blink Geri threw herself from her chair and into my arms, crying loudly.
I squeezed her as tightly as she did me, my tears streamed down my face silently. Geri's hands felt my back and my arms and stopped at my face as she pulled us apart. I smiled weakly at my sister and said the only words I could muster. "I'm so sorry Geri." Pain twisted my expression and I pulled her closer again. We stayed in each other's arms crying for a very long time until I began to hiccup uncontrollably which had Geri laughing freely.
Our small space fell quiet as we stared at one another. Finally I could take no more. "I'm so sorry Geri," I said again as shame colored my cheeks and I looked down. I had no right to beg for her forgiveness even though I wanted it so desperately.
Geri pulled me against her and held me tightly. "I will forgive you if you can forgive me."
I pulled back and wiped the tears from her face. "You've done nothing that needs forgiving." I said with quiet assurance.
"Yes I have." Geri cried and I chocked as grief morphed her face. "If I hadn't been so concerned with myself I would have noticed something was wrong, something bad enough to send you away."
"No Geri," I said desperately as I hugged her. "I should have been stronger and stayed by your side no matter what."
"Why did you leave?" Geri asked into my ear.
For the longest moment I considered telling her the truth, all of it, but I'd dealt with my stupidity for long enough. I couldn't let her know of my foolishness in believing Kent felt anything for me to come between us. I'd gotten over his rejection and betrayal months ago, there was no reason to bring up the past. I cringed against the lie but fought hard to establish it as truth. I sighed and pulled away from her to tell her the part I could. "I didn't have a place in your life or father's anymore. I was selfish and I thought it was best if I just leave and find some place I could belong."
Geri opened her mouth and closed it again, she was reluctant to share this with me and I frowned. "I'm so happy you are here." She pulled me into another body crushing hug and I felt lighter at once, another spring of tears poured from my face.
"Geri?" I heard the door open and I looked into my father's shocked face. I shied away from the unfathomable pain in his eyes and held Geri more tightly. I felt his arms come around us. "Oh Chicken." He kissed the top of my head and I turned into his embrace. His strong, warm arms brought forth an excruciating pain that tore at my body and ripped sobs from my heart. He was so safe and so wonderful I couldn't help but succumb to the security of his existence.
I wrapped both my arms around my father's shoulders and buried my face into the crook of his neck. He smelled like home and endless fatherly love. I'd been a fool to leave them, I had been a fool about everything. "I'm sorry." I repeated over and again into his shoulder.
"I love you so much Charity, don't ever do that again!" Bastion said gruffly and I heard the pain and relief in his voice and cried even harder.
"Never, I promise." I whispered when I could speak around the inundation of emotion raging within me.