Assalam-o-Alaikum!
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Last Chapter
A Few Months Later.....
Hussain's POV
"Are you really that cold hearted or trying to show Hussain bhai?"
"She is not happy with the marriage. Kareem Sir is forcing her into this. How can you stand here all silent after knowing that somehow you are the reason behind all this"
"Am talking to you Bhai!" She grabbed my elbow and almost jerked me around, making me face her. I looked up at her face reluctantly, her eyes boring into mine asking so many questions and I had no answer to any of them.
"Hussain bhai! Do you really hate her that much?" she asked in disbelief and I helplessly shook my head.
"Its not about me hating her or she liking me Maha! its about right and wrong and...
"To hell with your right and wrong!" cutting me through, she literally cried at my face, in anger and frustration I stared her face but the next moment regret and shame spread across hers as she lowered her gaze.
"Am sorry" she apologized, lowly and I heaved up a sigh. "am just...
"Maha! look at me" I held her hand as she kept on looking down, refusing to look up at me. "Dekho to meri taraf yar!" I insisted, and she looked up hesitantly.
"Am sorry Bhai! I didn't mean to yell at you" she pouted, her eyes were moist and I pressed a smile shaking my head slowly as I caressed her face.
"He is her father Maha! wo baap hen Fariya k un se ziada us k liye koi or behter nai soch sakta. Mein kis haq se ja ker khara ho jaoon baap or beti k beech? am nobody Maha!" I tried to explain, she kept on looking into my eyes.
"but she loves you Bhai! She can never stay happy with anyone else"
"How can you say this? Maybe her husband is a far better human being than me, and he will love and respect her making her forget her childish crush"
"Childish crush?" Maha repeated my word lowly. "I used to take her craziness as childish and immature Bhai! But there is something in her craziness which made me change my mind. Unfortunately It couldn't change yours" she looked at my face as if was searching something and I rolled my eyes.
Ya Allah! Ye lerki sach mein samajhti hea mein pasand kerta hoon Fariya ko????
"Acha chalo don't worry and pray that she will live a happy life with her husband, Inn shaa Allah" I patted her cheek and turned back to my table, internally sighing in relief as I looked away from those questioning, complaining eyes of my sister.
"By the way when is the wedding? You must be going. Right?" I asked looking down at the file I picked up aimlessly from the table.
Few silent moments and then I felt footsteps fading at my back. I turned around finding Maha walking towards the door and I exhaled helplessly.
But then she stopped in the door frame, turned, and looked at me. "ap buhat derty hen na Allah ki narazgi se Bhai! Phir dua kijiye k Fariya khush rahe us shaks k sath, werna us k dil ki her aah or us ki aankh ka her aansoo k liye jawabdeh ap hon ge"
And with that, she left me standing there holding the file aimlessly in my hand, my mind racing up and heart silent inside my chest.
Ibraheem's POV
"Tehreem wants to meet you" the spoon full of soup almost touched my lips and I was about to part them when Aleena spoke casually as if was stating the weather news. I blankly stared her face in disbelief and she batted her eyelashes in oblivion.
"What happened? Open your mouth Bhai!" she ordered and tried to shove it in when I moved my face aside, the nerves stretched inside my neck and my jawline creaked like an old rusty door opened after ages.
I shut my eyes trying to behold the pain.
Please don't come Tehreem! please. Mein tumhara samna nai ker paoon ga... mein buhat buzdil buhat kamzor hoon, mein tumhari aankhon mein dard or takleef nai dekh paoon ga. Khuda k liye Tehreem! tum mat ana.
"Ibraheem bhai! Are you okay?"
"Bhai?" Aleena was holding my face from both sides as she tried to pull it back to place and I opened my eyes slowly, my breaths fast and heart beats galloping inside.
"Am sorry." She whispered. I gave a faint move to my head as I wanted to shook it. She sat down on the brim of my bed and held my hand in hers. If my eyes were shut I couldn't have guess somebody held it as I could no more feel my hands, my feet.
They were numb and cold and motionless with no life in them.
"She was sorry for you Bhai! She wept for you. she cared" I guess she was pressing her hand over mine, as she kept on stating and I gulped down the lump of pain in my throat.
"I... aa.. I..
I tried to speak, words were just upset with me just like happiness just like goodness. I tried but nothing came out of my mouth, sounds refused to turn into words and they died inside my throat. I shut my mouth and pressed my lips together as tears built up in my eyes.
"you will speak Inn shaa Allah! You will walk and talk and live a happy life Bhai! Trust me, trust in yourself"
Bullshit! Rubbish! Utter garbage... there is no such thing as happiness. There is no such thing as life left in me. It was barren and empty and shallow like the wells; deepest darkest wells, kept dried for ages. I tried to say all this but couldn't, and I knew I will never be able to....
"you have all the right to be happy once again Ibraheem bhai!" Aleena was saying as I jumped out of my thoughts, they door flung open and Gul entered holding a couple of paper bags in her hands.
"Hello People!" she chirped.
Ah! I snatched her happiness as well. I snatched the good days out of her life. Kitno ki zindagiyan berbaad ker di mein ne...
"I was really hungry" Aleena exclaimed, looking down at somewhere to my left. I couldn't look, due to the collar in my neck I couldn't turn my head... Aleena got up.
Doctors said that movements can break my fragile bones, those passive bones which remain inactive for so many years.
"Randhawey! tu kia khaye ga?" I heard Gul asking, her face then appeared as she came to my bed and sat down.
I tried to press a smile.
"Aye Hayeee! Muskurahatein to check karo zara." Gul squealed, she was still that teenager jhalli friend of mine who used to understand the reasons behind my smiles and tears. Gul leaned in towards my face.
"Kia bat hea? koi chitthi shitthi aai hea ki perdais se?" she smirked and I couldn't help but smile, the corners of my lips ached as I did.
"God! You didn't even finish your soup Ibraheem!" she then exclaimed looking at the table. She must had found the bowl left unfinished.
"Stop being a kid okay! otherwise Waleed se keh ker ek saal or yaheen rukwa loon gi tumhen" She threatened and I heard Aleena chuckled. I wanted to rol my eyes at her drama... I couldn't.
"Here you go!" Aleena walked up to Gul and handed her a burger. "Thankyou!" Gul took it in her hands.
"And please! Start talking as quick as you can because am not going to say qubool hai qubool hai qubool hai instead of you. suna!" Aleena stated firmly and I shut my eyes, my heart felt a pang of pain.
"neither can I" I heard Gul stating and I opened my eyes, finding her raising her palms up defensively. "Waleed would never tolerate a sotan. No way!" she added and Aleena laughed, I smiled at them two as they tried there best to hide the pain and smile for me....
They started talking. I kept staring Gul... I so wish I could hug her and apologize for all the damage.
Mein maafi mangna chahta hoon tum se Gul! Kash merey bus mein hota to mein ye tamam din, ratein ye sal or maheeney jo tum ne merey liye qurban ker diya wo sab lauta deta tumhen. sood samet.
Mager merey buss mein he kuch nahee. Meri khud ki zindai bhi nai.
Maha's POV
"She is too young Maha! wo bachi hea nasamajh hea. tum dekhna kuch din mein wo bhool jae gi Hussain ko or phir sab theek ho jae ga" Mom raked her fingers softly in my hair as I lay in the bed, with my head resting over her leg.
"But why can't Bhai marry her Mom! itni bhi bachi nai wo. Or itna age difference to aksr hota hea husband wife mein" I turned my head, looked at her and stated.
"Its not about age difference beta! Hussain does not want to marry, doesn't matter its Fariya or anyone else" She said, I remained silent.
"Tumhen kia lagta hea k mein ne nai samjhaya Hussain ko, kitni bar kaha hea, kitni he lerkiyon se milwaya mager wo nai manta or waja tum bhi janti ho" She added and I sighed.
"She really loves him Mom! I pity her seriously. One thing she craved for the whole of her life is love. And finally when she fell for a person he is so cold towards her" I complaint and saw her smiled, I frowned at her gesture.
"tumhen buhat shok ho raha hea na usey apni bhabi banane ka?" Mom claimed and I pouted.
"Shok ko mariye goli Mom! Bhai will never agree"
"Maha! Hussain is not being cold to her, he is being cold to himself. But lets just hope that Fariya stays happy with her husband" Mom said, I disapprovingly shook my head.
"Acha chalo mein bat kerti hoon Hussain se. theek?" she stated and I smiled, pulling up I kissed her forehead and jumped down the bed.
Tehreem's POV
"Yes. Yes. Good. Just a little more... that's better" the doctor kept on coaxing him as he seemed reluctant.
With my palms firm on the glass window I stood there, my gaze inside at him on the hospital bed; two nurses were standing at his either sides, a doctor standing in front of them while another doctor was holding his leg and bending it slowly and cautiously as if a little harder thrust and it will break his leg. He pulled and pushed carefully his one leg, then the other one and then the previous one again.
The youth in him was no where to be seen, three men were actually trying to keep him firm on the bed as he couldn't even sit on his own and every time the nurse left his shoulders his body would go all jelly and he had fallen in the bed if only the doctor didn't hold him in place.
"it aches." Suddenly a voice too close to my ear startled me, and I turned finding Gul staring inside. "it aches looking at him like this. Hea na?" she then looked at my face and her gaze on my cheek made me realized I was in tears. Quickly wiping the tears away I looked away from her face.
Yes, it aches. Your heart aches Tehreem! why to deny? Why to hide....?
"kia wo kabhi apne paon per nai khara ho paye ga?" I asked, still looking inside
"I don't know Tehreem! 7 years of laying in bed has actually jammed his whole body, his limbs were so stiff they seemed to break when we first tried to move them" Gul was saying at my left side.
"Good try! well done man!" The doctor who was standing quiet up till now, observing the therapy finally stepped forward and patted his back with a smile.
"Doctors says that a part of his brain is dead probably the part responsible for the locomotives of body. I don't know if he will ever be able to stand up, walk and talk..." I looked at Gul who had tears in her eyes, she looked so tired... defeated already.
I slowly, hesitantly placed my hand over her shoulder a tear rolled down her cheek. "He will be alright Gul! Inn shaa Allah"
"Will he?" she asked me, looking into my eyes her question holding so much hope and expectations I couldn't utter a word.i just nodded my head trying to hold back myself form breaking into tears.
"Are you sure Tehreem! you want to do this?" Gul asked looking into my eyes for answers and I blinked mine. "this is not going to be easy, he is not the Ibraheem we all knew; he can't talk, can't walk. Please! Don't tell me he will be burden on you"
My gaze was once again shifting slowly to Ibraheem inside the room. "Us ne dus sal mujh se muhabbat ki hea Gul! To kia mein aaney wale dus saal us ka sahara nai ban sakti?"
"Hussain was right. He needs me and probably I need him too, Shaid us ka sahara ban ker mery dil ki becheni kam ho jae" I slowly added and looked back at her face where I found a tear sparkling in her eye.
"Gul!" from the back I heard somebody calling her name, I turned finding the same doctor from Ibraheem's room now walked towards us.
"Gul! The papers are ready you just have to....
He stopped as he looked at me and then looked back at Gul.
"This is Waleed. Ibraheem's doctor...
"And her fiancé" the man added quickly with a smile and I looked at Gul in surprise, she smiled making me return the gesture. "And Waleed! Ye Tehreem hen. You were on a leave yesterday so I couldn't introduce her to you" she added.
"What!" he gasped, I looked at him; his face had disbelief with his eyes wide and lips parted as if he wanted to say something but failed.
"Tehreem? Tehreem Sultan?" Dr. Waleed asked and I gave a low nod to my head.
"God! Are you seriously here?" he asked, the same disbelief. I didn't know how to react. I looked at Gul who gave me a knowing look with her lips pressed together. "Did you meet him?" he pointed his thumb back towards the door of his room. I shook my head looking down at my hands.
"Not yet"
"if not then do meet him quick okay, who knows Ibraheem jumps up on his feet" Dr. Waleed stated with a smile and I gulped down. "Love has power of showing miracles"
"Anyways Gul! His discharge papers are ready, am just waiting for his EEG reports, which are due in half hour, let them come and we will decide if he can move out from this cage of his" he told Gul who nodded her head.
"And by the way I didn't have lunch yet" he looked down at his wrist watch and Gul smiled knowingly.
"Come. Join us Tehreem!" he offered me.
"JazakAllah. Am not hungry" I tried to smile and he nodded.
"Nice meeting you then" Dr. Waleed smiled at me before walking past us.
"Milo gi nai us se?" Gul asked softly as I looked at her.
"Pata naheen. Pata nai mein samna kesey karoon gi us ka. Itne saal wo meri waja se itni takleef mein...
"Tumhari waja se nai Tehreem! tumharey liye" she corrected and I blinked my eyes. "His love for you was too much to be handled I guess, Ibraheem couldn't differentiate between love and madness"
I looked inside, the nurse was now removing the pillows from his back and kept them at their place.
"Go! Meet him Tehreem! kia pata kab mojza ho jaye or Randhawa phir se pehley jesa ho jaye" Gul slowly patted my arm and then left.
I don't know if I will be able to do it or not... I don't know if am doing the right thing or not.
Mager us ki is lalat ki zimedaar kaheen na kaheen mein bhi hoon. Najaney kesey itni zindagiyan berbaadi k dahaney per aa khari hueen? Najane kesey or kab itna sab ho gaya...?
Maybe it's the time to set things right... maybe Hussain was right, its time to amend.
Hesitantly, with my legs trembling a little I stepped forward and held the knob of the door. Pushing it a little I peeked inside. Ibraheem's bed was in the center, in front of the glass window where I stood a minute back. The nurse was holding his arm.
"No. you need to sit a little more. Just a little more." She spoke, I couldn't look at his face, she was blocking the view.
"Oh for Christ sake! Stop being stubborn as ever." She exclaimed as he was reluctant, maybe wanted to lay back... was he tired of sitting? Maybe his back hurt... he couldn't speak, he couldn't tell her that he was in pain.
I stepped in quietly. My heart was thumping inside.
"That's awesome!" she exclaimed happily once again and then I saw her removing her arms from his back, she stepped back slowly as if was watching him carefully. "Just a couple of minutes. Sit straight. If feel falling back just pull yourself forward. Okay?" she was instructing.
"Very good! you are such a handsome lad. And if you will keep on trying like this you will soon stand up on your feet"
Inn Shaa Allah! My heart bled on the thought of me being responsible of his state.
Keeping pillow at his back once again, the nurse moved back, my heart stopped beating and I quickly stepped back outside, trying to calm my heartbeats and just then the nurse walked out of the room. She glanced at me with a frown on her forehead as she walked past me.
Gathering up all the courage I slowly stepped forward and once again found myself standing in the door frame, looking at Ibraheem who was sitting in the bed with his shoulders scooped down and his head hung too low as if his neck had no bone inside.
I gulped the lump down and stepped inside, even hearing the faint foot steps he didn't raise his head up. his arms were kept straight over his thighs with his hands resting over his knees.
Suddenly he moved a little and my feet halted, freeze in their place.
I felt his breathing was heavy and low silent groans were coming out from his throat as if he was tired of running for long and now wanted to rest...
I was still in my place frozen when he slowly raised his head and just then it fell backwards.
A shallow gasp escaped his mouth along with his name from my lips "Ibraheeem!!!" he was about to fall back, my feet automatically leap forward and my arms wrapped around his back as I held him by his shoulders.
His eyes wide in disbelief and mine looking straight into them with my heart stopped beating inside my rib cage as I held him in place carrying his weight, his heavy breaths fanned my face.
I could hear his heart throbbing inside and I slowly lowered my gaze. With one hand I removed the pillow from under him and made him lay back in the bed.
With that I quickly moved back and stood at a yard distance from him with my heart now beating fast and my throat dry... perched. Suddenly all I could feel was thirst and all I wanted was to run away.
My gaze slowly moved up and found his chest heaving up and down badly. I couldn't look at him, I knew he was staring my face.
Nauman's POV
"Tum theek nai ker rae ho Hussain! at least think twice before...
"Twice?" Hussain cut me through as I spoke. "I cant stop thinking about this stupid girl Nauman bhai! And you are asking me to think twice? Since all this has happened am trying to come up with a way out, am trying to think how can I convince her to stop this madness" he added firmly.
"Who asks you to convince her? for a change convince yourself Hussain!" I stated and he looked at me as if God knows what did I say to him. "don't give me this look. You know am not wrong here, you can definitely marry her and...
"Please Nauman Bhai!" he quickly got up from the couch.
"Just accept it Hussain! you are not avoiding her because she is young, you are avoiding her because you don't want to fall for anyone ever again." I got up as well. "a part of you is still angry with yourself and he thinks you don't deserve any one's love"
He remained quiet. "Stop being angry with yourself Hussain! it wasn't tehreem's forgiveness you needed all those years. It was yours...." I pointed at his chest with my index as I spoke. "you need to forgive yourself and all will be alright" I added and he shook his head.
"Nauman Bhai! I expect you came here for something important other than repeating Mom's words" he tried to change the topic and I glared him disapprovingly.
"yes. And this is important" I firmly stated, he rolled his eyes. "your Mom is right, mothers are never wrong Hussain!"
"we will talk about this later, you tell me what about the convention? Did they talk to you? I guess the timings will collide with the evening serm...
"Hussain!" I cut him and he blinked his eyes at me obliviously. " I guess I should leave" I added and picked up my car keys from the table.
"Nauman Bhai! Chae aa rai hea... thori der to rukiye. Ap to naraz he ho gaye"
"Mein naraz he acha hoon. Kam se kam tumhen merey boring lectures nai sunna paren ge. Jo dil mein aye karo" I snapped before stepping to the door when I heard a knock.
"Hussain beta!" his Mom called him from out of his room with a knock again.
"Aa jaiye Mom!"
The door slowly pushed open and she looked inside. "beta! there is someone to meet you" she told him.
"Who?"
"A bride?" She stated, more like asked and the color of his face faded at once as he glanced at me.
Fariya's POV
"can I meet Hussain?" I asked , Maha's Mom just stared me up and down confused at the sight of a bride standing in her door steps.
"Kia mein Hussain se mil sakti hoon Shaista Aunty?"
"Ye-yes you can. Per ander to aao pehly Fariya beta!" She urged me to step in and I did.
"Fariya!" I heard Maha gasped as she found me in the hall clad in a deep red lehnga, all embellished in green and blue. "Fariya! what is... what is all this?" she looked at me up and down.
"Baraat hea meri Maha aj" I pressed a smile, sending bitterness inside me. Maha's eyes widened.
"You didn't tell me Fariya!" She exclaimed in disbelief.
"And on your wedding day you are here.. you... are you mental?" she held my arm, before I could say anything I saw Haya bhabi walked into the hall.
"Fariya?" she walked up to me. "Wow! Girl you look pretty. But what's the occasion?" she asked but the smile faded from her face as she caught Maha's grave expressions.
"Somebody is marrying me today" I told her and she chuckled.
"Means you are marrying somebody, right?"
"Wrong. Am not marrying him. He is marrying me" I corrected her making her frown, but as Maha grabbed my arm and was about to give me a piece of her mind I saw Hussain walking into the hall.
All of a sudden those fast hearteats calmed down inside my rib cage.
Maha and Haya I don't know why left me there. "Fariya beta! kia log gi? Juice, coffee?" Aunty asked, I sensed the discomfort in her tone but I couldn't look away from Hussain who was glaring me disapprovingly.
"Mom! pani le aaiye bechari k liye in fact thora glucose mila dejiye ga. Hussain looks mad at her" I heard Shehry Bhai instructing her in a low tone.
I took a few steps towards him. "I wanted to talk to you"
"Tumahrey dad ko pata hea tum yahan ho?" Hussain asked sternly ignoring my statement. I nodded my head.
"there is nothing I should have hid from anyone" I stated. He clearly looked mad... pissed off.
"The are forcing me to married" I told him, I guess he already knew.
"Congratulations" he didn't even smile and I gulped down hard at his coldness.
"Even he is too elder to me... 7 years" I informed him, his gaze was fixed at my face as I spoke but didn't respond. "Ker loon shadi us se?" I asked holding up the faintest hope in my heart.
"Hm ker lo" he replied in the same stern, plan and cold tone holding no emotions. I took another step towards him.
"He has no issues with the boyfriends I had, he has a lot of girl friends as well, in fact he said he wont have issue if I will have them after our marriage" I stated. "Ker loon us se shadi?" the hope still didn't die.
"ker lo" the same response again and this time I fought myself not to tear up in front of him.
"I told him I smoke once he didn't mind that either, he does too. He said he drinks as well... sometimes thou, occasionally" I added. "Ker loon shadi us se?"
For a moment he didn't reply.... "Ker lo" my heart sank inside my tummy and I felt my eyes turned moist.
"Wo mera hath pakarr ker mujhy jahanum mein le jaey ga... ker loon shadi us se Hussain?" my eyes itched as I asked.
"tum us ka hath tham ker usey Jannat mein le jao" he replied and I shook my head.
"Mager mujhy ap ka hath tham k jana hea, ap ki jannat mein, ap k sath" just a yard distance left between us, I searched his features while he raked his hand through his hair in frustration.
"Fariya! you should leave now" he ordered in a low tone and I gulped down the lump in my throat. I started his face for a few silent moments.
A tear rolled down my cheek...I didn't care.
"you think am not worthy of you, hea na?"
"Its not like this Fariya! Why don't you understand, this is...
"I do understand Hussain! God loves you. you are the perfect Muslim, flawless and me... am the dumb, the sinner, the worst girl in the eyes of God. Then how can you accept my love? No. never!" I shook my head as I spoke.
Tears rolled down.... I didn't care.
"Ap ko shaid jannat ki Hoor ka intizaar hea...mein phir chahe kitni he muhabbat karoon ap se, ap ki nazer mein us ki koi ahmiyat nai. Kun ke mein to hoon he buri na. mein to sab se buri hoon"
Tears refused to stop... I didn't care.
He tried to take a step towards me but I stopped him with my palm. "I maybe worthless, I maybe bad Hussain! but just keep this in your mind that I love you with all my heart and this happened because your God wanted that to happen... He made me fall for you" I stated firmly, teras soaking my face.
I knew my makeup was ruined up till now... I didn't care.
"Badnaseeb hota hea wo insaan jo muhabbat thukrata hea kisi ki... My Mom used to say this" my voice hiccupped. "I wish she was wrong, because I wish for you anything but bad luck and pain Hussain!" his features were softened by now. But the damaged was caused.... Nothing can be done now.
"And I will never marry him" I claimed firmly. "Us se shadi kerne se behter hea mein derya mein doob ker marr jaoon" I added, he shook his head. He looked helpless. "or meri maut k zimedar hon ge ap"
I stepped back wiping the tears with the back of my hand. "Fariya! listen... don't do anything stupid" he warned me as he took a step further but I turned and almost ran out side.
Hussain's POV
"ten years Hussain!"
"ten years you suffered the pain of being cursed by someone who loved you, and now once again you did the same. Why?" Shehry rested his hand over my knee as he stated.
"She really loves you man! and didn't you hear what she said? The man she is marrying is a total badass. Come on Hussain! you can not just sit here letting someone ruin her life just because you don't want to accept happiness" He insisted. I remained quiet unable to think straight.
Is se to behter ho ga mein derya mein doob ker marr jaoon...
Her words banged inside my head and I shut my eyes tight fisting my hair in both my fists.
"Hussain beta! stop being nagry with yourself. Kun naraz ho khud se?" Mom held my hand and I looked at her, concern in those eyes. "tum apne sath sath us bachi ki zindagi bhi tabah ker do"
or meri maut k zimedar hon ge ap
"Mom is right; you have missed life in those ten years Hussain! please don't let this one decision ruin another ten years..." haya spoke. "or is bar bhi tumhara ye faisla sirf tumhara nai hea, ye Fariya ki zindagi bhi berbaad ker sakta hea" she added.
No. I didn't want to ruin any more lives. I can not afford any more hatred anymore pain.
But why don't you people understand...
"Hussain Bhai!"
"Hussain Bhai!" Maha came running in my room, she looked panicked and my heart suddenly started to beat faster with a strange kind of fear..
"Hussain Bhai! Fariya didn't reach home" She stated, panicked and I got up from the bed. "Kareem uncled called me for asking if she is still here"
"But she has left almost a couple of hours back" Shehry frowned.
Is se to behter ho ga mein derya mein doob ker marr jaoon...
My heart stopped beating.
"Bhai! Kaheen..." Maha looked pale.
"Don't worry she will be alright. I will find her okay! stop worrying" I assured her before I picked up my car keys and stormed out of the apartment
Ibraheem's POV
She was actually standing there in front of me? or was I dreaming with my eyes wide open?
Am I actually witnessing my dawn???
She was still so pretty, it seemed as if ten years, pain, suffering could not snatch the beauti in her. Her off white hijab was fixed firm over her head and her gaze lowered to her fingers as she blabbered her heart out in front of me for the first time and that even too unexpected for me.
Looking at her made me forget my pain, remorse the feeling of regret and guilt in my heart just got subsided as i saw her standing in front of me. Once again it felt like ten years back; Tehreem and Ibraheem.
She kept on speaking in between tears and I just stared her face silently... and it was strange I wasn't hating not being able to speak, in fact I loved listening to her.
"..... I wish all this never happened. I wish I was never the reason behind your pain Ibraheem. I.....
She looked up meeting my gaze she went quiet.
I wish I could tell you that when you say my name it felt a million times more beautiful, I wish I could tell you Tehreem! that when you talk to me it feels so good, it feels as if nothing went ever wrong in my life.
She lowered her gaze and slowly took a step forward, sending my heartbeats to a new level. Making my inside groan.
"Am sorry Ibarheem!"
Keep calling my name, stay close to me and I swear Tehreem! you can murder me and I will happily forgive you.
"You know what! You will soon stand up on you feet and you will be able to talk and will be alright, Inn Shaa Allah" she was assuring me. "you just need to be strong Ibraheem! and all will be well"
I gulped down uncertainly, but anyways gave a short faint nod to my head just to show her that I trusted her with my life, just to assure her that her mere words were enough to keep me going.
khair meri choro... tum jao Hussain k pass wo buhat akela ho gaya hea. He needs you and you need him Tehreem! Go to him...
Just then somebody entered in the room and the footsteps came closer, it was my nurse on duty as she came and stood by the foot of my bed.
"You are going home!" she exclaimed, her eyes twinkling stars in them as she showed me up a file. I don't know what was in there. My discharge papers I guess.
"And you are....?" She then looked at Tehreem who was now wiping her tears.
"Um... I...
Tehreem couldn't come up with a reply and my heart ached. I wish I could tell her who she was to me.... everything.
"you were the one outside his room right? You were crying even then. Are you alright?" She asked and tehreem's gaze met mine for a brief second.
You were crying for me. Why Tehreem?
"Am alright. Thanks" Tehreem tried to press a smile.
"never mind!" the nurse swayed her hand in the air and then walked up to me. "so do miss me okay! and never stop being that awesome" she was checking the reading on the machine to my left while talking. My gaze shifted to Tehreem who quickly looked away from my face as she awkwardly stood there fidgeting with her fingers. Her hands....
Can I hold them?
Ah! I will never be able to hold them....
"Am afraid you need to step out, the panel is on round" The nurse addressed her and she blinked her eyes.
No. Please don't go. Just a few more moments... just a little eternity.
"Can I take a minute?" Tehreem read my thoughts?
"No lady! You need to...
"I promise it wont take long" She hurriedly insisted and the nurse looked at me, come on! Let her be with me please!
"Okay! but just a minute" she reminded her before dashing out of my room and I sighed a breath of relief. I looked at her once again, she looked pale.
A few moments of silence... come on Tehreem! you have got a minute.
"I wanted to ask you something" Tehreem then spoke, it feels as if she spoke after a whole eternity... after thinking for a whole life time. My forehead frowned a little as she looked at me and I found something unreadable and grave on her face.
And then she uttered those words I never expected to here... I couldn't believe what she asked for. I could never agree on that. I couldn't even imagine to ruin the rest of her life being the unwanted burden over her fragile shoulders.
No. I can't. I can never marry you Tehreem!
Hussain's POV
I don't know why her words were haunting me, my heart thumping hard against my chest as I drove in New York city looking for her everywhere.
Doob ker marr jaoon...
or meri maut k zimedar hon ge ap...
Ya Allah! Keep her safe. Please! Don't let her ruin her life, don't let anything bad happen to her
Agar kuch bhi ghalat ho gaya aj to mein khud ko maaf nai ker paoon ga.
I searched at different bridges, beaches... she was nowhere then why her words still haunting me?
I was driving across the Bronx bridge where I remember, we as dhoombros had loads of memories; photo shoots, shooting for our projects and finally it was the place I once tried to jump down and had to stop every inch of me from doing so.
Agar us roz mein wo haraam maut marr gaya hota to najane kis aag mein tarap rahi hoti meri rooh.
Mein nai chahta Ya Allah k aj woi haram maut Fariya ka naseeb baney. Please don't let her do that.
As always no heavy traffic, I lowered the speed and gazed out of the window when I felt my breath hitched and heartbeats stopped in their tracks. My gaze caught sight of her; the red dress was too much to be hidden from attention.
I stopped my car at one side and almost jumped out of it, smacking the door at my back I ran towards the iron railing and peeked down. Fariya was sitting crossed legged on the sand where those calm waves brushing her body every now and then.
My gaze was fixated on her when I saw her getting up, she stumbled in her own dress and fell down. Again keeping the hem of her dress she got up and to my utmost horror she took a step forward.
Ya Allah! No!!!
I ran towards the edge of the bridge, my heart was about to jump out from my throat as I climbed down, my feet stumbling as I sped up and finally reached on the deserted cold sand... with Fariya at a few yards distance from me.
I saw her knee deep in water. "Fariya!!!"
Her name echoed in the air... my own voice betrayed me as if it wasn't me, it wasn't the Hussain I ever knew. "Fariya Stop!" I ran towards her, she wasn't looking back at me.
And finally I reached up to her "Fariya!" and grabbed her elbow jerking her turn around, so that I could face her, so that my heart could calm down, so that I could confirm she was alright.
"have you gone mad?" I was panting hard, my ears could hear my heart pouncing inside, hammering against my chest. "chalo merey sath" I was still holding her elbow when I almost dragged her out from the water.
"Hath choriye mera!" suddenly she screamed and pulled her arm off my grip. I turned and looked at her face where I found anger and pain.
Why does she have to remind me of myself of my past all the time???
"Ap samajhtey kia hen khud ko? Kis haq se aagaye hen bachane mujhy? Or ye... ye ankhen mat dikhaiye mujhey" she glared fire at me, I narrowed my eyes as she took a step towards me and her hands raised up to my chest. "and don't you dare touch me" with her palms firm over my chest she pushed me back, I stumbled a little.
"Na mein bachi hoon or na ap zimmedar hen merey. Chale jaiye yahan se" she screamed
"Listen Fariya! every body is worried at your home, your father is getting mad at...
"Oh please! Don't tell me that my father is being worried for me, he is only worried because its his daughter's wedding day and she has been missing from home when hundreds of people are gathered there. My father is not worried for me he is worried for his reputation" she cut me off angrily.
"why wasn't he worried for me when he said a yes to that douche-bag? He wants me to get married to that characterless man, he isn't worried Hussain!"
"He wasn't worried for me when he married to his model friend who doesn't even know the meaning of motherly love and affection, why wasn't he worried for me when I wanted attention and love and his time, but he didn't give me any...
She was screaming all hysteric and I raked a hand through my hair in utter helplessness.
"Fariya! relax...
I tried to take a step towards her but she stopped me with her palm raised up in between the gap of our bodies and I halted in my tracks.
"you don't have to sympathize me, please stop pitying Hussain! I don't need your help."
"Please go away. Please leave me alone. I can not marry that man, I can not go back to that place where nobody loves me, nobody cares for what I feel and want. Please! Go away....
And with that she slowly turned away from me, once again facing the water.
"merey chaley jane se wesey bhi kisi ko ferk nai parey ga. Her roz pata nai kitney log merty hen mein bhi marr jaoon gi to konsa duniya ruk jae gi.. konsa...
"Meri duniya ruk jae gi Fariya!" my words visibly stunned her as she stopped in her tracks. I stood in my place didn't take a step towards her. she slowly turned her head, looking at me.
"Ten years Tehreem and Ibraheem suffered because of me, ten years they faced the worst of their fate and lived in pain because of me. Ten years I blamed myself for the lives I had ruined unintentionally Fariya! and today once again am doing the same... today once again a life is ruining in front of my eyes because of me" my gaze was firm over the waves now a little harsh and strong.
"I can't let that happen, I can't let you end your life with your own hands, I can't let you end it with a sin. Mein jantey boojhty tumhen jahannum mein nai dhakel sakta" I looked at her face, she was staring mine.
Few silent moments we stood there.
"if you really love me then you won't want to ruin another ten years of my life Fariya! is sab k baad mein ek din bhi sakoon se nai ji paoon ga" I spoke and after a minute or so, she took a step out of the water and came standing by my side, we faced the water waves for long. Silently, saying nothing just listening to the water against the rocks and our heartbeats against our chests.
I then took out my phone and texted Maha, informing her that she was safe. I was about to put my phone in my pocket when Fariya took a few steps away from me and suddenly she knelt down on the sand, as if a heap of red melted down to floor.
Heaving up a sigh I stepped forward and sat cross legged, leaving reasonable disctance between us. We both gazed at the waves, well, I was gazing at them and wasn't sure about her.
"Ap bhi kehtey hon ge k kia museebat sr parr gai hea, hea na?" she asked, more like stated and I remained quiet. "per ye museebat bhi ap ki khud ki paida ki hui hea" she then looked at me and addressed making me frown.
"I didn't do anything"
"Ha!" she let a dry laugh out and once again shifted her gaze to the water. "I never thought I would go that crazy for anyone, I used to love life Hussain! but then you happened; holding your Quran, stepping into the auditorium, holding the sweetest softest smile on your face, the most pious man I had ever seen... my life started to revolve around you, I started to wait for Fridays to come, I started to think about you and nothing else, I listened every word of yours doesn't matter I understood or not. But I listened them, loved them"
She kept on saying with a soft smile on her afce as she kept on looking at the waves. I started her face... there was again the madness in her reminding me of myself.
Fariya looked at me, caught me staring her but I couldn't look away as I saw tears in those eyes. "God made me fall for you Hussain! trust me I never planned for such a fall" she shook her head faintly and then slowly her gaze lowered. "and now when I have fallen I don't ask you to fall with me, but at least respect my feelings"
"don't judge me Hussain! as the whole world did, don't judge my love for you. You have no right" and the tear rolled down her cheek. I gulped the lump down my throat.
"how can you love me that much?" words slipped my tongue and when she looked up at my face meeting my eyes, I realized I shouldn't have said that loud.
"because your Rabb thinks that you are worth it Hussain!" a soft painful smile crept on to her lips as she stated all confidently and I blinked my eyes unable to absorb that.
I looked back at the water... waves, touching and crashing my heart.
Ye lerki tujh se muhabbat kerti hea Hussain! phir chahe tu usey nai chahta wo apne dil mein ub kisi doosrey ko kesey jaga de paye gi? Kesey wo muqaam kisi doosrey shaks ko sonpe gi.....?
tu ye zulm nai ker sakta us per.
"Kuch kahaniyan kabhi mukamal nai hoti Hussain! kuch muhabbatein hamesha adhoori reh jati hen" Her words broke my thoughts.. "Jesey Tehreem or Hussain ki muhabbat. Wesey he Fariya ki muhabbat bhi shaid adhoori reh jae gi. Hean na?" she asked, looking straight into my eyes and I couldn't reply.
She slowly tried to get up but her dress came in between, with a gasp she fell again. I couldn't hold her, couldn't help her... my brain was too occupied with a thousand thoughts. And when I finally pulled my self out from the puddle fariya was already on her feet.
"Mujhey ghar le chaliye Hussain!" she looked down at me, I quickly got up. "Baraat aa gai ho gi"
....
"My dress has ruined your car" She spoke slowly as I drove off the bridge, for a moment I glanced at her dress it was soaked in water and sand.
"That's okay" I kept my gaze on the road. I looked down at my watch, God! I had almost missed my maghrib prayer and by the time we will reach home no time will be left. My gaze searched outside no sign of a mosque nearby.
I glanced to my right, her head was resting on the head rest with her eyes shut and the makeup on her face had almost washed off by the tears... her cheeks had the tint of black spread here and there.
Looking back on the road I cleared my throat and felt her shifted in the seat. "Uh- I have to offer maghrib. Will miss it till we reach home. Would you mind if...
"That's okay" she quickly stated. Parking the car at the side of the almost deserted road, I took off my seat belt and stepped down. From the trunk of my car I took out the prayer mat and spread it on the road at the side.
Throughout the namaz I tried to keep my mind and heart on track, on the recitation on the conversation I was having with my Rabb but somehow, every now and then my thoughts roamed back to the girl in my car.
Offering the ferz, I sat there over my knees as I raised my palms up for du'a.
"Soch to liya hea, mager kis haq se rokoon ga us k baap ko? Mein hoon he kon? Kon hota hoon mein baap or beti k beech aaney wala. Ya Allah! Tu he bata kia karoon. Mein ne to kabhi nai socha tha k zindagi aese muqaam per la khara karey gi... merey liye to Tu kafi hea merey Rabb phir q Tu ne is k dil mein mere liye itni muhabbat dal di k mein chah ker bhi usey nikal nai sakta."
"Mein usey nai chahta, na kabhi chah sakta hoon. Mein us k or us ki muhabbat k laiq nai hoon Ya Allah! Phir q tu koi rasta nai dikhata? Q itne ajeeb morr per la khara kiya hea mujhye." I shut my eyes firm.
Hamara her amal Rabb k liye hona chaiye Hussain! hamari muhabbat nafrat... her amal bus Rabb k liye.
My eyes flutter open as Tehreem's voice echoed in my head along with the silent sobs... as if she was crying, hiccuping.
My forehead frowned and my eyes narrowed as I felt the sound was coming from my back, I slowly turned my head and the frown faded as I realized it wasn't Tehreem...
Fariya was sobbing at my back. She looked vulnerable
Was she in prayer?
It looked like a red ball curled up in the road as her head was in prostration and she was sobbing in hiccups. I couldn't shift my gaze as I saw her crying and then her head slowly moved up. I quickly turned away.
For few silent and the most difficult moments I sat there motionless, the sobs were still there at my back. After a minute or so I turned my head, finding her palms up in front of her face and her eyes shut, her cheeks soaking in tears and her lips trembling. My heart ached looking at her like this.
To kia hua agar nai chahta mein usey... mein us ki chahat ki qadar to ker sakta hoon.
Maybe she is the dawn I waited for whole of my life... And maybe I am the dawn my Rabb has destined in her fate.
She wiped her face and her lashes moved and our eyes met. She was staring my face silently when I slowly got up from the mat and folding it up I stepped towards her, she was still on the road with her gaze fixated on me.
Fariya's POV
I couldn't look away from his face as he slowly came and stood near me. He was looking down at me, there was something in those eyes capturing every sense I had...
"will you be happy with a person who has no love or heart to give you?" Hussain asked, my heartbeats accelerated.
"you are talking about the person who was searching for me in the streets on the roads, the whole night Hussain! you are talking about the person who was a minute back, in tears on his prayer mat... praying for my happiness." He remained quiet, gazing into my eyes.
"Your heart already belongs to me Hussain!" my heart fluttered as I spoke, a strange kind of bliss I felt as words uttered from my lips.
Reluctantly I lowered my gaze and tried to get up when once again my feet stumbled in the long lenga I was wearing and I couldn't get up instead fell in the place.
Shittt!
I was about to try again when I heard him and my head raised up "Come on!" finding his hand lowered up to my face level, for a moment I couldn't believe and stared at his open palm, my gaze moved up to his face.
"Come on! Get up" he offered, my heart was pouncing inside and my eyes moist again as I gulped the emotions down my throat.
"Chor to nai den ge na beech rastey mein?" I asked, his hand was still there but the colour in his face changed instantly as I spoke those words.
His hand slowly pulled back and my heart thumped down in my belly. "Rasta buhat lamba hea Fariya or merey hath khali bilkul merey dil ki terha. Inhen tham k tumen kuch nai miley ga" he was about to walk past me when I grabbed his hand and felt him stiffened under my touch.
His hand was stiff and cold, he looked down at me and I smiled. "See! They are no more empty Hussain!"
He tried to press a smile, mine broadened. He firmly grabbed my hand and pulled me up over my feet.
I gazed deep into his eyes looking at my dawn, before we walked towards the car.
....
Towards Dawn ended guys....
Well after a lot of thinking I decided to keep firm on the actual plot so I ended on what I decided and planned at the first place.
I know many of you think its garbage! Rubbish! Hussain with Fariya??? God! Worst ending :p lolzzz yeah, I know many readers felt this during the whole chappy but guys!!! You have to agree that Randhawa loved and deserved her more than Hussain.
Or wesey bhi jis ko Rabb mil gaya us ko sabb mil gaya. so Hussain is happy after all :) ;) Agreed?
It was the first ever attempt on spiritual side and trust me I know I was not good :( :-p but it was just a try, I just wanted to explore my own capabilities you know ;) :-p so I hope that I did a little... just a little justice with the genre :)
Just a few words on TD??? I would love to hear from you for one last time <3
And last but not the least. Guys! I loved every comment you ever left on my story, your votes and comments and likes are all I have. Plus those who never commented but still read and liked... I love you all equally guys! :*
And And And.... Maybe an epilogue would come one day ;) <3
Ah! Love you all to the moon and back :* stay happy and stay blessed