REVIEW - WINGS: THE POWER OF KNOWLEDGE (morningteamarigold)
(The first 7 chapters were reviewed)
REVIEWER - DeathBlade__
Title: 2/5
The title sounds amazing on its own. It’s unique and it creates a sense of interest to read the book. However, from the chapters that I’ve read so far, I can’t tell why it is named so. Perhaps it will be mentioned in later chapters but it would be better if there were some clues in the former chapters.
Cover: 1/5
- I love the color scheme of the cover. It's red/brown theme really makes it stand out and caught my eye immediately.
- Although, I have the same issue here as I did for the title. I haven’t read anything that makes me think about wings so it doesn’t fit very well with the book as of now.
- Another issue I’d like to point out is the font. I don’t like how the word wings are repeated multiple times, it feels a little bit tacky. The font used is minimalistic, but good nonetheless, only, I’d suggest you write wings only once.
- Also, you could add ‘The Power of Knowledge’ on the cover as well since it is the complete title of the book.
Blurb: 5/5
- I genuinely can’t say anything negative about the blurb. It’s short, sweet, and gets to the point. The final line, she will do anything to kneel just packs a punch to the whole blurb! Wonderfully executed.
- However, if I had to be nitpicky, in the last line, the ‘h’ in him shouldn’t be capitalized.
- Other than that, it was wonderful!
Writing Style: 8.5/10
- The writing style was amazing! Every scene was described in such a way that I could picture the surroundings, without it getting too excessive/boring.
- I especially loved the writing in the second chapter. Those three sentences ‘she blamed him, he didn’t listen… he didn’t move a finger’ was absolutely amazing! It gave an insight into Diane and Brandon's relationship and I loved the way it was executed! Simple sentences with powerful impact.
- In the same chapter, you had a paragraph about the September gardens. That was beautifully written as well!
- In chapter 4, I loved the description of the house in Lewtown!
- There were a lot of wonderfully executed paragraphs (I will not be mentioning all of them).
However, Here’s what you can improve:
- Paragraph Separation: While most of your paragraphs are lengthy, they have the perfect amount of information. Some of them however could be broken down.
For example, in chapter 1, you wrote about the fog getting thicker and in the same paragraph, we got to Diane shaking in fear. While it wasn’t that big a deal, I felt that separating the paragraphs would make Diane’s fear more noticeable, thereby making it more impactful.
The same is the case in the second chapter, where you describe Maria's purple cape and in the same paragraph there is a mention of Brandon being the ‘Stone King’. Again, if the paragraph was split a little before that, I would have felt the impact of that more.
Other than the points I’ve mentioned, I really enjoyed the way you described the scene. It was uniquely done and it made reading so much more exciting.
Grammar: 9.5/10
I do not have much to say about grammar. There were very, very minute errors which I will mention:
- There were four typos (very few for so many chapters so, good job!) and I have commented beside each one to let you know.
- In chapter one, there was a paragraph where excessive commas were used. I have commented beside that as well.
- In a few places, Lila is spelled Lila and in others, it’s spelled Lilah. I’m not really sure what the correct spelling is (hence I didn’t comment) but just fix that issue.
- Barely any errors were there at all, I’m just being a little nitpicky. Other than that, your grammar is immaculate!
Plot: 5/10
- From the blurb, I can see that this story has a lot of potential. Plots like this are right up my alley and I was so excited to get into the book.
- While I did enjoy the book, most of the time I was met with confusion. I get that you were trying to build up curiosity but I was questioning so many things when I read every new chapter. What I think the book needs is a little more clarity.
- The writing style really helps with the world-building, I had no issues with that. What I do think needs to be worked on are people’s motives and who they really are (even if not on a deeper scale).
Prologue:
The prologue was really good. It was a great start to the book and really gave off a fantasy vibe which is exactly what I was looking for. The writing style was amazing from the very beginning!
Chapter 1:
In chapter 1, there wasn’t much room for confusion since it was an introduction to the whole plot. As far as the first chapters go, this was great. While I was a bit confused about Diane’s destiny and why she was afraid, most of it turned into curiosity.
Chapter 2:
This was my favorite chapter out of all that I read. I liked seeing Maria and Brandon’s POV, it was very interesting and gave a bit of insight into their relationship (and a little about her destiny). At this point, I was very curious about why Diane left in the first place and this chapter did a great job of hooking me to the plot.
Chapter 3:
In chapter 3, we get to know a bit about Diane’s past, how she killed her friends without batting an eye, and how she spat on people and laughed at their misery. Now, those are some horrible things and I was curious about what changed. Is she hiding her past or has she genuinely changed? I felt like I didn’t get any clues for these questions as I continued reading.
Chapter 4:
- In this chapter, I felt like a lot of information popped up out of nowhere, specifically, the fact that she killed George’s father. That was so uncalled for and the way it was delivered was a bit underwhelming. To me, it felt like there was no build-up for this scene and it left no impact.
- Another thing is that I don’t understand why Diane does a lot of things. I don’t understand why she trusts Thomas (although that might be destiny’s doing) and I don’t understand why she poked him in the stomach out of nowhere. Most of what she does seems inessential.
- There was a sentence wherein Thomas wants to disappear to a place where no one can find him and pray for his sins. Usually, a sentence like this could create a high level of curiosity but because this was mixed with a lot of other confusion that I had, I was left more confused than before.
Chapter 5:
- In one of the chapters, It is mentioned that it is best if Thomas doesn’t know who she is. I didn’t quite understand that because he knows that she’s the princess, but not that she is brutal (or maybe he does know that). This is what I mean by all the confusion I had. I can say one thing for sure because there are so many other possibilities and I found myself re-reading so many paragraphs in case I missed something.
- What I did love about this chapter was Kelly and Diane’s conversation. While I didn’t know what exactly was going on, I was really invested in their intense conversation.
Chapter 6:
Besides my existing confusion, this chapter was good. I don’t understand what Diane thought to achieve without letting anyone know about the map but other than that, it was great. I especially liked one line, ‘There are a lot of things we swore to never forget’, that really piqued my interest and it’s a great way to keep readers hooked.
Chapter 7:
Here, I was mostly confused about who Diane is. She used a different name with Thomas’ mother but he knows exactly who she is and yet, her past is unknown to him. Considering she’s a princess, I’d assume that it would at least be gossiped about.
The plot has a lot of potential as I’ve mentioned. The only thing is the execution. You’ve put a lot of effort into the writing style and the grammar and it really pays off, there are just a few things to be changed.
Making a book intriguing is very important to hold readers but that should be done without leaving the readers confused. A little more effort in slightly giving insight into a few scenes could really help the overall outcome of the book.
Characters: 8/10
Diane:
- She has a lot of potential. Having the base for her character to be a little complex gives a lot of room for character development. Right now, we don’t know much about her but there’s always time to change that. She’s a little unlikable (not to the point that it gets irritating) and that makes her more than a two-dimensional character. I think what should be done is a little bit of insight into her past so that we can relate to her and understand her thought process which can make her a reader's favorite.
- While she does have potential, it needs to be worked on. Put a little more effort into her character. Personally, in books, characters are very important to me. They make or break a book.
- To sum it up, give more time to showcase her thoughts/opinions all the while enlightening the readers about her past.
Thomas:
- I really like him. He’s not as complex as Diane (at least, not yet) but that is not an issue. You have flaunted what he is in a sufficient manner. I like his sweet innocence, people like that are often my favorite characters!
- What I am interested in is a sentence about disappearing from everyone and praying for his sins. I may be overthinking it but if I’m not, it could make a very interesting plot twist if executed right!
- Again, to sum it up, there’s not a lot except give your characters more time because they are very interesting!
Foil:
- I soon realized that Diane and Thomas for foils to each other. That was incredible because their characters really shone when they were together. That’s what foils do but still, adding that to the story was a great move!
George Brown:
- There’s not a lot that we know about him except that he and Diane have history… and it’s so interesting. I mentioned this before but in that one line he said, ‘There are a lot of things we swore to never forget’. That gives off so much potential for something sensational!
Overall, all the characters have a lot of potential, all they need is time to grow!
Enjoyment: 2.5/5
- Really, my only major problem is the fact that I was more confused rather than intrigued. Of course, curiosity was always there but a few scenes just need to be executed better. I’ve mentioned most of the scenes where I really so a flaw. My only solution would be to add on to those scenes - give a few easter eggs in the form of details to increase the readers’ curiosity.
- My favorite part would definitely be the writing style. It’s so well done and I really need to give a lot of credit for it!
- Just look into the details I’ve mentioned. The plot has so much potential and it can grow, I can feel it! Just keep doing what you’re doing (with minor improvements) and it will be great! Good luck!!!
Total: 41.5/60