-Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Seven-
"I can take care of myself just fine, got it?!" Sanji sneered, irritated by the swordsman's help.
"If you can stay on the ground, ball!" Zoro snapped.
"And just like that, they're back to fighting" I sighed, watching how the two were quick to jump at each other's throat. "They sure don't waste any time..." I muttered.
"Tell me about it..." Nami grumbled, rolling her eyes as she watched the two practically bicker. "They're nothing but children..." she huffed, causing me to chuckle.
"It seems our Groggy Monsters have finally found some worthy opponents in the ring—this will be a match to remember because the Straw Hats prevailed! But can they do it again?" Itomimizu curiously asked. "We've seen pigs fly once today, so anything can happen! The challengers seem to be discussing their next moves—let's get ready for Round Two!" he announced
"You're cramping my style! Go back to the sidelines, moss head!" Sanji snapped.
"Is it your style to get pounded like a punching bag?!" Zoro snapped right back.
"Whoa! Dude, they're tough!" one of Foxy's men gaped.
"That guy picked up Pickles and tossed him!"
"I've never seen Hamburg go flying like that!"
"Stay out of my way and I'll win this!" Zoro irritably huffed.
"I can't stay out of the way—I'm the Ball Man, the only one that matters!" Sanji sneered.
"No! Hamburg, what are you doing out there?!" Porche gasped. "If you lose this, I'll never forgive you!" she pouted as she cuddled up closer to Chopper who looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.
"Listen, you good-for-nothing playboy cook, you better get those fancy eyebrows out of my way in a hurry!" Zoro snapped.
"No, you listen, you dumb oaf! If you don't get your meathead off the field right now, I'm going to fry it up!" Sanji snapped right back.
"Well at least their comebacks are getting better" I sighed with a shrug.
"That's not exactly something to be pleased with!" Nami scowled, swatting my shoulder.
"What's this? The Straw Hat team seems to be having some sort of disagreement with each other" Izomimizu remarked. "Both Ball Men are still in play, so let's hope they can channel some of that aggression in a more productive direction" he said.
"Those two sure are funny, aren't they?" Luffy laughed.
"Yeah, real comedians..." I softly huffed, crossing my arms as I soon felt the corners of my lips twitch the longer I listened to the captain's laughter. "You're such a dumbass" I giggled, shaking my head as the captain's smile only seemed to grow alongside his nearly contagious laughter.
"You idiots! Now's your chance—what are you doing?!" Usopp snapped. "Their Ball Man is all alone—gang up on him and knock him in the ring while those other guys are still out of the game!" he shouted as the two quickly jumped in separate directions and avoided the foot that was suddenly brought down toward them.
"Big Pan stomps in for a surprise attack for the Straw Hats!" Itomimizu announced as the two started to run away from the giant Wotan who was now chasing after them and trying to crush them with his feet.
"Don't run away from the ball! How are you supposed to score?!" Usopp frowned.
"Hey, I'm doing my best here! But that guy's got knives on his shoes—and if we don't run away, he's going to make mulch out of us!" Zoro argued.
"Hey, wait..." I owlishly blinked. "Didn't the rules state that you're not allowed to have weapons out on the field?" I frowned.
"Yeah, it did..." Sanji realized. "Hey, Ref! She's right—I thought you said we couldn't use weapons?!" he shouted as the referee casually looked the other way and whistled, acting as if he hadn't seen a thing as he averted his gaze.
"What?! He's not even trying is he?!" Usopp snapped.
"You can't expect him to catch every little thing, can you?" Foxy laughed.
"Oh, that's cheap" I scowled.
"Stop screwing around!" Sanji growled, angrily throwing one of his shoes toward the referee and sending the man flying back.
"Sanji, what were you thinking?" Nami frowned as Usopp now held the raging blond back before he could pounce on the injured man and do even further damage.
"It's not the best idea to attack the referee—what if you get disqualified?" I scolded.
"You saw the whole thing! I saw you sweating over there, you little cheater!" Sanji angrily shouted as he tried to pry himself free from the sharpshooter's grasp, intent on beating the shit out of the other man.
"No...no way! I...I didn't see nothing—not a thing!" the referee weakly defended as he denied the blonde's accusations.
"You liar!" Sanji snarled.
"Hey, that's the Ref, Sanji! You're going to get in trouble!" Usopp worriedly frowned.
"Yellow card to Sanji of team Straw Hat" the man irritably huffed as he held up a yellow slip of paper.
"You want another boot to the face?!" Sanji threatened, causing the man to shrink back in fear.
"Hold on, you're only going to make it worse!" Usopp frantically cried as he continued to hold the fuming blond back.
"And there it is, a yellow card for Sanji—just one more of those, and the chef will be taken from the game once and for all folks" Itomimizu explained.
"Shut up! I'll kill you!" Sanji fumed.
"And the threats keep coming in from the foul mouth Ball Man, who knows who he'll lash out at next" Itomimizu said, unfazed by the blonde's threats.
"Be careful out there, Zoro!" I called out to the swordsman who was still being chased. "Hey, wait a minute..." I frowned when I saw the large axe Pan now swung around.
"I'm doing my best!" he called back.
"Why don't you come down here and say that to my face?!" Sanji angrily snapped up at the gangster, still peeved by what the man had said.
"What is he? A gangster?" Itomimizu questioned, confused as to why the blond was now attempting to pick a fight with him.
"Worry about the boots—the Ref can wait" Sanji huffed once he finally started to calm down, now turning back to the match. "Wait, an axe? So you can't miss that!" he almost brightened as he realized that there was no way for the referee to miss such an obvious violation of the rules.
"I didn't see—are you sure?" the referee innocently whistled as he continued to look the other way. Absolutely refusing to look at the field and call his own crewmate out on his obvious rulebreaking.
"Of course, I'm sure! Look!' Sanji snapped. "He's got a giant axe—you can see for yourself!" he sneered as Usopp once again restrained him before he could do anything rash.
"Give it up, you're going to get a red card if you don't shut it!" the sharpshooter scowled.
"Why are you siding with them all of a sudden?! We're going to get julienned out there!" Sanji growled, annoyed that the sharpshooter wasn't taking his side.
"I know, but they're trying to make you do something stupid—you're playing right into their trap!" Usopp argued.
"Who cares?!" Sanji huffed.
"If you won't do it for me, at least do it for Chopper!" Usopp begged.
"Okay, stand back and let me handle it" Luffy said as Usopp and I quickly moved in to stop him before he could start any trouble as well.
"No! We don't need the captain butting in and complicating things!" Usopp frowned.
"We all just need to calm down and put our focus back on winning the game—fighting with the Ref about how unfair this is isn't getting us anywhere" I said, attempting to soothe the two's anger and prevent them from causing any more problems for our team.
"Sanji, please win for me" Nami suddenly and sweetly requested as she clasped her hands together and looked at the blond with her best puppy dog eyes.
"I won't let you down!" Sanji swooned as he made a heart with his hands.
"That was easy" Usopp sweat dropped.
"Why didn't we do that from the start?" I questioned. "We could have saved ourselves a lot of trouble."
"Alright, back to the game!" Sanji cheered, running back onto the field...and right back into running away from Pan alongside Zoro.
"If you're going to do that again, why even bother?!" Usopp snapped.
"Running around like this is getting us nowhere..." Sanji grumbled after a moment longer of running.
"Yeah, but now that we know their game plan, we can come up with a counter-attack" Zoro nodded.
"Get ready, big man, it's payback time!" Sanji huffed as they skidded to a halt and turned on their heels, now rushing toward the giant instead of running away from him.
"Go back to the sidelines, this bastard's mine!" Zoro growled, clearly not liking the idea of the blond helping him in taking down the giant Wotan.
"There's plenty of him for the both of you!" Nami snapped.
"Have you seen the size of him? I'm pretty sure there's enough there for you both to get your fair share!" I shouted.
"And they're off—all three are about to collide!" Itomimizu excitedly exclaimed as Big Pan dropped to his stomach and slid toward the two that were rushing him. Zoro and Sanji reacted accordingly as they jumped out of the way and landed on the Wotan's back...only to immediately start sliding downward the minute he stood. "Uh-oh! Here come Big Pan's signature move—things are about to get slippery!"
"Bring it on!" Sanji shouted, sliding down Pan's back with ease. "Who's afraid of a little skating, right?" he chuckled before his smile dropped as the Wotan suddenly curled his body up and started to roll, now spinning the two around in a circle as if they were caught in a cyclone.
"There's no escape!" Itomimizu cried out.